consider ..

in my ongoing journey here I'm considering some stuff that stiff-hearted Christians eschew, walk past in denial, rely on others to consider for them, don't care about .. kinda thing

here's one for ya
here

peace

the stuff of us ..

i can pile my stuff over me
   cover my self in it
   hide behind or under it
dress my self
   paint my face
      mask
..
then one day
it goes
   it's gone
worse .. you see it gone
there in front of you
   below you
   above you
piled
   in its destruction
as you stand there in it
   under it     
      in the shock of its goneness
my stuff that made me me ..

and now i am destroyed ..  .

who am i really
   ?

Hell, just listen ..

Brian Zahnd on hell

http://wolc.com/watch--listen/sermon-archives/what-about-hell/

violence in the OT ..

the link below addresses violence in the Older Testament, an 'evidence' often used to support it today ..

listen to Brian Zahnd's comments

click here

bits 'n pieces ..

i had the privilege last week of going to texas to help with the recovery after Harvey ..
it was made possible by donations from family and friends ..


it was a dread reminder to me of the tenuous nature of the life we live .. fragile, not something we can rely on really ..
   not something we really can rely on

what is you life ?
a breath
a whisp
a grass
   blown in the wind
   dried in the sun

..

so if i can't rely on my own life ..
wow ..

that questioning wonder leads me to a couple other questions
what can i rely on
what am i relying on
..

we walked into a house that had flooded to the ceiling
everything was destroyed
the place had to be gutted
everything gone

the guy was distraught
confused
lost
in shock

led me to wonder about me and what my response would be if all my stuff was destroyed
..
like .. what am i made of?
am i the accumulation of the stuff i have
how much of me is ..

what happens when that stuff goes
is destroyed
who am i then

who am i now .. ?

__________________________________________________________

yesterday we heard about 'rest' in the assembly
here are a few thoughts from that time ..

we often long for the slavery we've been set free from
   (that one tugged at me)

there's a certain amount of security in bondage - you don't have to make decisions

we weren't meant to rest after death, but in this life

we try to earn our rest .. it's not something you work for

you work from a place of rest, not towards it

it is the voice of God that leads us to rest
   (the Voice)

worship is the path God walks to your soul

obedience is nothing more than an act of faith

we're looking for a place and it's not a place
we're looking for a day and it's not a day
   rest is a posture of the heart

_________________________________________________________

beware the praise of people
   even when that praise is 'well-earned', the result of a 'good cause'
..
the flesh loves to be coddled


peace to you

it's me o Lord standing in the place of need ..

i attended a 'celebrate recovery' class last week ..
i wasn't sure why exactly ..
maybe i just wanted to see what it was about
.. perhaps i thought i'd be able to help somebody else get 'fixed'

whatever ..

thing is, in the opening session one of the facilitators offered us a keyring-thingy
   a reminder of our commitment
well .. now commitment was a bit far down the road for me just then
besides that, commitment to what ?
   i wasn't admitting my Self to the program
      i was an observer, a contributor, a helper, a supporter kinda thing

   curioser and curioser ..
somehow deep inside i had a feeling from the first time i heard about the program ..
nebulous, fuzzy, undefined feeling ..
mayhaps i should be there

and then .. there was this experience i had several years ago when i went with a friend to their alcoholics anonymous meeting, and experienced something i later attributed to my imagined idea of what church should be like .. it has never left my mind
perhaps that memory contributed to the feeling i had that i should be there

and on sunday somebody spoke about it and encouraged people to attend ..
it's not just for the addicted, etc. .. it covers a whole swath of issues you may be toting around, things you probably would do well to ditch, perspectivize, acknowledge .. deal with
  and that nuanced it a bit

   so i went
and in the going i think something bumped inside me
and i took one of the keyring-thingys
and i sat through the intro, and the session
and i watched and i listened and i wondered
   again
      why am i here ?
      what is it in me that brought me to this place ?
..

i'll contextualize it a bit ..
on sunday the preacher made a point i'd not thought of concerning one of my fav passages - Matthew chapter 5, last verse
it's a statement by Jesus which he made after the phenomenal unbelievable incomprehensible things he said about taking the next slap and going the next mile and shedding the next shirt .. . . and loving enemies, perhaps the freakiest thing of all ..
   all of which the preacher subsumed under the thought "don't be afraid", "do not fear" ..

in that last verse Jesus said "be perfect, just like your father in heaven is perfect"
one of those verses i used to " ? " in my bible all the time ..
   not a thing for me to worry about
   i'll never achieve that for sure; in fact, who can? ..
but preacher said it's not setting you up to fail against this impossible standard
rather it is a thought that, just as God is perfectly God, the endgame for us is to be perfectly human, just as we were designed by God to be, just as we were imaged by God to be
   maybe just as Jesus came here to remind us
      by being The Son of the Human ..

and i watch him human
and i want to be like His humanity
i want to be the human the preincarnate Jesus/Word/Creator designed for me to be
..
and i am so very far from there
   many many miles to go before i sleep

and i have an increasingly persistent barking at my heels
this bugging nagging yap-yapping that i so want to lockout
   leave me in peace
.. i suspect i am that nag
i suspect it is i that stand in the place of need

it's me
not him
or her
or them
   me


i need to recover from me
so
help
me
God


peace to you

re-new-ing your mind ..

produce
consume
produce consume produce consume ..

' work ethic '
accumulate
hard worker
successful person

produce
consume
produce consume produce consume ..

scarcity

not enough

   never enough

compete

   scarce resources

      because i ..... .

eucharist

everyone !

welcome !

all of you, welcome to the table

   share in this

plenty

enough for all

   to share

and on the 7th day

God

   rested

sabbath

   rest

from produceconsumeproduceconsume .. .   ... .

..

or lose my perspective

and everything becomes 

   produce consume

God

rest

eucahrist

sabbath

jesus .. take my discipleship-yoke and follow me

and find rest for your soul

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 

Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls ..

.. my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

   (Matthew 11:28-30)

now go here and listen to wisdom, to ..

this