pardon me for the excursus from the usual to the journal-type ..
felt there was something somewhere in here that might be of benefit to someone somewhere
recently i've been working with a lawn maintenance company
this time around we're cleaning out a 6-acre lot filled with trees and plants and whatever else manifests itself in such an environment .. like weeds, like polkweed 'round these parts, and horrible stuff like poison ivy, the dread of the gardener
my part was to cut out any dry limbs and imposter-plants, pull vines from the trees/plants, and to dig up the durned polkweed ..
in my usual way, i became quite tunnel-visioned, concentrating on what i was charged with doing ..
but i did take breaks and look around me at the marvelous colours and designs God uses to thrill us and to house and feed God's creatures ..
lovely stuff
`|`
at one point, 2 days ago, i was fixated on pulling this endless vine out of a bush - must've been 20 feet long
yank and pull with whatever strength i had ..
and then i heard a sound, kinda like a soft "eep-y .. eep eep"
i finally realized it was coming from the bush, and looking closely i saw a nest
with 2 very-baby birds ..
wow
they were stressed by all my vigorous pulling and cutting
one had its mouth open wide .. a voiceless call for help, probably to dad or mum ..
immediately i felt .. bad
..
it was like i was real sorry for hurting the babies
i stopped the pulling, used a lopper to cut out whatever of the remaining vine was there, made sure the nest was secure, and moved on, away from the immediate area
`|`
and i found myself praying ..
i told God how sorry i was for hurting the birdlings, and asked that the parents come back soon to help them
..
it really bothered me
all through the remainder of the workafternoon they were on my mind
strange .. .
`|`
yesterday i was back at it
went to check on the birds, but there was this brilliant red flash of wings
up to a bush, down to the ground, on to a dead branch
back and forth and back, up and down and up
and sounding off with birdsound i'd never heard from a cardinal before ..
the dad-dude was on guard!
and he was real serious
like "back off!", "stay away from this area"
we know the natural response of parents to threats to their young
they will fight for sure (as per mama bear, for example)
then the mother cardinal appeared, flitting around just like the violentred dad, only not as close to me
the two of them kept it up the entire time i was in that area
i was further away from the nest, maybe 20 or 30 feet, but they were taking no chances ..
they wanted me to move away
and strangely, they never went to the nest, never got closer than 10 or so feet from it ..
later i figured they didn't want to locate the nest to me, in case i would harm their offspring ..
smart, that
i kept my distance
i didn't see the birdlings that day
but i prayed
`|`
today is day 3
i resumed work, but before i did i put an orange flag by the bush to warn the others who came in to help today, and told them why
i backed off and worked
when work was finished, i went to see what was up
no parents
no 'eeps' ..
i looked in the nest and saw one baby
not moving
after a minute i reached in and touched it
cold ..
and i was unaccountably downhearted
i know what i felt the last couple days
and this was a prolongation of that ..
but it was more than that ..
the bird was dead
at least one of them
i don't know if the other is alive or was scarfed by a predator ..
but this bothered me
this cold dead tiny body really bothered me
and that especially since i had prayed about it
`|`
we packed tools and carted them off
after i took off my wetmuddy clothes, and built a cup of the brown nectar, i dressed and went to the nest
i took it and the birdling
held the body in my hand as i walked back .. hoping somehow there was still life in there and the warmth of my hand would encourage life ..i prayed, hesitantly at first
"restore life"
i found my self snickering at the thought .. am i thinking what i'm thinking ? ..
"you are life; you have the power of life; please give this bird back its life .. it's my fault" ..
and my heart was all in that thought, as i sat on the ice chest and folded the other hand around the body ..
and breathed on that body ..
..
`|`
well, by now you're wherever you are in your mind ..
as for me, i am besieged by this happening ..
i'm not sure exactly what went on in me
i like animals and birds and such, and never was one to wantonly kill creatures
in fact it bothered me when i saw people doing it
and increasingly i've been more and more bothered by it
a few weeks ago, as we were driving, i saw a young deer impaled on someone's metal fence - the fence had spear-like projections every few feet
apparently the deer had somehow gotten in but could not get out, and tried to jump
the body was still warm when i went to check on the deer
that bothered me too
i felt sorry for the deer
for a while
`|`
so ... .. what's going on here?
am i looking for blog material?
or trying to prove to someone i have a soft heart?
or trying to impress people that i'm on the environmental bandwagon and care about animals and hug trees?
..
what's happening in me? ..
`|`
i'm not exactly sure how to answer that question
but it's been happening, whatever it is
slowly i've been being changed
it probably has a lot of lead-up contributing inputs and influences and events over time
`|`
i wonder ..
if Jesus is the same Word that created everything (John 1)
and if WordGod is caring, and does things right ..
then creation in its pristinity was 'good', as Word said
so that all of creation is God's handiwork and is a manifestation of something in God
and anything that God does is good
and god-ly ..
leads me to .. i should be respecting God's godly good stuff
including birds and birdlings
`|`
i didn't think of it that way
it wasn't a process of thought
it just happened that way
something in me has become more sensitive to the Godness that lies in back of stuff
like the 'imago dei' in us humans ..
(even that's a hard sell when the 'imago dei' person just cussed you out or flipped you off or abused you somehow
in fact, some people are more inclined to respect and care about the animal world than they do humans ..)
how did it happen ?
well, i wish i could answer that
for you
and for me
i'm not sure
really
all i know is that my heart went out to 2 baby birds
one died
and i was praying
and even blowing on that dead bird in conjunction with my prayer
waiting for God to restore life
and was planning on how to care for that birdling, hopefully to see it fly off one day
healthy and happy as a lark ..
or a cardinal
peace to you
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