all ears ..

looking for You today ..

been at it all my life ..

and even though i wrestle with myself in these recent times
   i'm back

how can i not be ?

i have not arrived

sometimes i feel as if i am nowhere
   after all this time
      all this long struggle
..

still scratching at the Ground
implacable
looking for You
   i won't give up, You know
..

i thought ..
i was taught ..
i learned
   i thought i had learned You ..

now i drift
slow easy
watching
looking

i suppose You know that ..
don't be too hard on me
i'm trying
   really i am
..

.. are You there ?

can You hear me ?

i'm listening ..
all ears

waiting for You ..

or maybe waiting for me
   to awake from my lifelong slumber
   to see You
   hear You strolling in the garden as i scratch the Ground
      in search of You
..

i'm back here
scratching at You Ground

how could i do otherwise
i haven't found me yet ..
and i think i need to find You to find me
..

someone said i wasn't listening to You as You move
i needed to wake-up

someone said i was listening too hard
i needed to ease-up
..
ah?
eh?
You say something ?
what'd You say ?

..

looking for You
here
as i scratch at this hard dry unforgiving Ground
searching for forgiveness for the i i am
waiting for You to tell
to call
whisper
shout
speak my way
ask me something
   anything
demand of me
instruct me in the way
rebuke

   only say something
..

.. You say something ?

i'm all ears ..
least i think i am ..
..

someone said
" if you want to hear God, then answer Him, " yes "
and then ask, "What was Your question?" "
..
i like that

..

i want to hear
   all ears

speak Lord
Your servant listens
let me hear You in the Ground

i listen for You today
again
in the place that claims Your name
where goodhearted folk sing and express and dance and praise and agree and look all happy and excited and call Your name ..

i listen for You there
call my name

speak Lord ..

your servant ..