when sorrow and Grace meet ..

sometimes we chritians forget that we are but dust
   divined dust
      but dust nonetheless
   fingerprinted with the insignia of Creator god
   designed with the mind of God in mind ..

and when we forget
we imagine that we can outrun
   who we are
   who God is ..

mostly we end up making of ourselves self-righteous fools

`|`

hopefully there arrives an event that simply scatters me
   rattles my innards
and the lieing pretense comes vomiting-out all over my cool branded jeans ..

maybe an illness
maybe a 'word' from an unbeknownst prophet
   put there by the Spirit to catch me off-guard in my secure space
      where i feel quite secure
..
and all my righteousnesses are nothing but filth
   vomited all over my cool jeans ..
   in my secure space

i'm left stripped
   naked
before the compassionate steady gaze
   of the God with whom i have to do
and tears come running out
   all over my mascara-ed blush
as the mask runs ..

i am undone
discovered to my self
denuded of the self i wore
   in all my wrinkled spots ..
quite undone

 `|`

and Mercy speaks
and Grace touches
me
   just then
..
and i shockingly know that i am loved

`|`


a by-thought ..

in that scattered vomiting event it's vital for us to recognize that
   while the regret and remorse bite
   the naked shames
   the real me lies scattered in so many jagged pieces in plain view
God hasn't moved ..
..
God is moved by it, but God hasn't moved
God is the very same god
   intensely in love with me
   regardless of what i've done

and too
the very instance of my sorrowing over this event that rattled my innards
   broken over my God-betraying self
is the very evidence of my faith in that God who loves me
   whose name is MercyGrace


peace and love

perhaps ..

at the end of the day when this age rolls over
   perhaps our concept of judgment will not at all be like we thought ..

in the brilliantly clear light of Godpresence
   perhaps nothing will need to be said ..

there will only be a pungent sense of Godgrace permeating all creation
and we all will simply amble, eyes wide in wonder
   our sight enlargened to know finally, and unexpectedly
         the purity of love and the incomprehensible power of
         the God that created it all


that revelation will simply clarify all
   every motivation, wicked thought, abusive intention, manipulation
      every selfish construction ..
   every underlay of goodness, thoughtful
      gift kind intention, accepting embrace
      turn-of-cheek, loving act

all will be laid bare in that brilliant, clarifying light, not a word to be said ..

and God will be all, in all ..

what I mean ..

all my fumbling
   for words
   for how to say
scratching my head
like chicken
   searching

You are what i mean

the words and the how
mere expression ..
communing
   with other
   with myself
   with You


   but
You are what I mean

no scratched, fumbled words
serve to express You
   wonderful Expression of God
You are word
   expressed in-life telling
   in-death torturous
   in-risen forever

entangled
interwoven
with
among
in
part of
   your spirit with my spirit
..

you are what I meant all along



(The clause 'you are what I mean' is Chris Green's)