distance ..

i am not near You ..

the psalmist asks ' why are You so far removed ?'
   but i am left with only me
      to call out ..
i don't think You've gone anywhere
i think i've fallen behind
   from Your shadow ..
now i barely see where You were a minute ago

`|`

why
   do i stumble so readily      ?
why
   do i 'relax' my vigil
   allow my zeal to chill       ?

why      ?

`|`

is there anything more winsome
   than the sight of You
   anything that thrills
      like following Your gaze into my eyes
      like the sound of Your feet making way
         through the grass we walk on
   anything that moves me
      like knowing the back leaning against mine in balance
         is the back that bore the bruising lash
            while we turned our backs and looked the other way      ?
..
how do 'you' ever get past that      ?

which universe could ever offer me such love
in the heart of an Elder Brother
   who once scattered planets and blew stars
      into this and that collective
         pulling and swinging each other in orbits lightyears beyond our imagination     ?
..
how do 'you' just let that slide
   like some thrilling scifi we saw last week      ?

`|`   

why does not every inhalation inspire my heart again towards unmatched zeal that bonds my soul to Yours in a fusion that no force in the universe could ever fissure      ?   ?

i should absolutely fear the distance of Your Presence
run to find You
   anxious
   unsettled
   disoriented
      whenever You are not within reach of my heart
         .. whenever my heart is not reaching for You
..

truly i am not able
   to walk this life
      without You
         with me ..

come
   walk with me .. .