you know me ..

where could I go to get away from You
   run from Your face .. ?
      where indeed? 

if I fly through space to some far galaxy   
   You ..
dig my way to Sheol   
   You ..
spread my wings and fly as far as the horizon   
   You led me there by the hand ..

I could fold myself into the darkest darkness 
   You still find me   
      .. night is as day to You ..

You know me so well
You know everything about me
   my coming and my going   
   my descent into sleep and my rising from bed ..
   You know what I'm thinking even before I think the thought ..
   You know every place I go and how I got there
   I can't even get a word in edgewise 
      You already know what I'm going to say ..

You're out front
You're behind me
You surround me 
   covering me with Your hand 

this stuff is off the charts
I have no way of comprehending it
You even knew me when I was in the womb growing into me ..
You did that - transform me into the complex intricate me that I am

You are wonderful for sure ..
somehow You knew me even before I am ..

and the fact that You even think about me at all is enough to make me fuzzy-headed 

how do I even process all of this?

                    (Ps 139, in part)

first thoughts on goodbye-ing 2020 ..

 December 27th 2020 

the last days of a fertiley wicked year, thank God! .. 

of course, there's nothing magical about the clock's tock into 00:00:00, January 1, 2021 .. no door will slam shut, no fairy or genie will bless or oblige with a problemless planet Earth life .. 

but the mere psychology of it - the very pertinent fact that we are here to witness the demise of a year that calls for darker hues and frantic strokes rebelliously calls for ardent celebration and fist-pumping, as we squint hopefully into 2021 - the very weakened fist that yet challenges what has been with what could yet be - and is enough to embolden our resolve to defeat the challengers and reaffirm life .. and that's powerful 

I'll think a bit during these late December days of this year, as it waves goodbye, of what it has been - how it has touched and torched, in what ways it crushed, how it ruined, but also the encouragement and resolve it fostered, the bravery to push through, the constancy to look in the looking-glass and confront the exhaustion, and to say "I'm going in again" one more time .. right there's the stuff of humanity, engineered in the mind of God 

of course history is replete with the horrors of humanity,  but we had not yet seen it with our own eyes until this 2020 so blatantly belched it planet-wide, the very potent smell forcing us to cover our face 

it will be a very real challenge to read and watch the rehearsals and rehashings, the retellings of a most painful year for many of us, one that leaves an empty chair at the table .. 

there will be many heavy tears before this year is through

This Gift ..

 while we fawn and fumble and fuss
   with glitzy paper, ribbon and such
this gift lay covered in straw
   inhaling the very earth-scent of dung

this gift had its being and moved and lived
   within the very fleshy womb of a young woman
tabernacled for just the right time
the first Christ-mas

and angels danced
   while trumpets sounded in an unearthy tone
and shepherds
      poor and unimportant
   leapt and raced
   bearing Good News

sages from afar had left their birthright
   to discover
      the treasure hidden in a bosom
            (unable even to mutter an intelligible Word)
   and brought gifts
      for This Gift

who knew   ?
expectant Israel
   yearning for deliverance
   waiting
      breath held in anticipation
   knew
   and recognized This Gift
      presented in their temple
         acknowledged
            human
            Jew
           under Law

and yet This Gift was given
   to all the world
a reminder that the One who created it all
   imbues this our humanity
      with Godself

the greatest gift ever, Mum ..

we're waiting ..

 where are You   ?

God ..   right   ?
God ..             ?

the world runs   
   races
      to madness
drunken surely
taking the whole world with it

where is God   ?
where are You   ?!

You're coming      right?

it's darkening ..
we barely can see

we need You
   now
   now      now

where are You   ?

come !   now !

we're waiting .. .  .   

please come now      ..

i see ..

i can't see very far these days ..

ageing eyes struggle 
   in this dawning night of smoky scenes
      where Lies prop the street corners
         in their sequined highheels
      and no one
         absolutely no one
      is promised tomorrow
         in this land of sneak and pickpockets
         and street-corner preachers
            with me-holes in their jeans 

neon-ed promises
   whistle at the weary ..
spots darken the tarmac
   where one of us got caught
      too long staring at the loud headlight
         horn screaming 

it's just too BloodyMary much for my life's eyes
have to retreat
shutter the myopic windows for a bit
rest from the mad-inducing assault of Animus
   Ares and Mars in tow 

.. .

just there ..
   the smoke clears
   the discordant cacophony stilled ..

clarity

smiling eyes welcome
   the pleasant sight of a Lamb
      clothed in Light
      holding Shalom
         while lightbearers dance in circles
            around the Tree of Life

..

i
see
You

all because of Christ ..

When God decided to share Godself, to overflow into others, the Godhead selected one of Themselves in particular to Christ the happening of it .. 

Word, Expression of God, undertook the Human Expression and everything connected with it ..

and the human being became a living soul, imaged in the likeness of Elohim God, Christed with authority over Creation, to care for it in honor of its Creator, and to reproduce Images of God, filling the good Earth with goodness, reflecting the nature of Creator God for all to see - all the Authorities and Powers and Rulers in the cosmos will witness the goodness of God in the Christed creation. 

When the created Images of God rejected the authority of the God in whose likeness they were imaged, the Word expressed and took on flesh, leaving behind the form of God.   The one who existed before the creation and by whom everything was created - the things visible as well as the invisible Thrones and Rulerships and Kingdoms and Authorities in the worlds unseen - took human form as the ultimate visible expression of God to humanity, to reorient the Christed humanity to God and reconcile their injured relationship.   

Through the deathblood of this humanized Christ. we are ushered into God's presence holy, blameless, standing without fault before God in Christ.   This is an unfathomable and perplexing mystery that calls forth our faith, trusting that the same person who created us also redeemed us, this Christ, and claims us as God's own possession, God's inheritance, in Christ, sons and daughters in good standing.

The very one by whom creation exists and continues to exist instantiates as very Human, and stands-in before God for all humanity, to be, one good day, recognized universally as the God in whom all humanity is embraced and included, one with the Father through the Son of Man .. one with God in Christ .. 

.. and our home will be God's home, and we will each be perfected Images of the Living God, Expressing God's goodness throughout God's good creation, and God will be all in all .. 

all because of Christ ..

in Christ ..

praise God
   who blesses us
      in Christ
    with every spiritual blessing available in Heaven

from the very beginning the Father decided that humanity
   would be included in Christ
      as an expression of the Christ
His own
pure before His face
His love

He accomplished this intention through His predisposition of
   adoption into His family as children
and this gave Him very much pleasure

and the sheer graciousness of this giving through His Beloved
   speaks powerfully to the praise of His glory

it is through Christ that our release is secured
   and our fallings forgiven
through His abundant grace poured out in the human blood of him

God has let us know of this mystery
   concerning His delightful desire for us -
that it would be through Christ that His intention for us
   would be fulfilled in the fulness of time
that everything in the created universe
   would be consolidated in Christ
      in whom we also have been made a heritage
         his inheritance
      predisposed in accord with the unravelling of God's intention

.. .
that is a restatement of the opening verses of Paul's writing to the Ephesian church

              

Christ is the instrumentality and the instantiation of our spiritual flourishing 

it is because of Christ, and through Christ, that we are able to thrive in this fallen world system, which falls under the influence of the Archon of the ethereal authority (2:2), to be overcomers (Romans 8:37)

all that we are is by Christ - our very existence and the original environment we occupy are all a product of the Expression/Word of God, the Christ, who brought it all into being .. and beautifully done too ..

this Expression of God as Son - Son of God, Son of Human - is the Person of the Godhead tasked with the Human Expression, the loving sharing of Godself with a being designed to be like God - as they imaged God, being images of God - and who, in Person, expressed the likeness of God in the human form

it is to this One we owe everything, not only our existence (in his image to boot), but also our continued existence, even after our breach of trust, the denial of our Creator 

he takes upon himself Redemption, the Rescue from the wicked and perverse powers that wage war against humanity and it's God (6:12) ..
further, this one is our Hope, for in him we witness the fulfillment of the original intent of Creator God for the created human

the Christ has gone before us, as us, having participated in the depths of us, and arrived in eternity as the matured, complete, full human expression of the GodImage .. so that when we look at Christ Jesus we see us in wholeness, fully formed, accomplished according to the blueprint of God in creation - that blueprint is the GodWord, Creator himself

this was God's intent all along – that we be consummated in the Christ ..
the Christ is our imaged intention, our divine pattern, the human standard, and the measure according to which our humanity is fulfilled (4:13) .. 
humanity perfected

everything that i am and strive for is wrapped in the person of Jesus, and as the Christ, he has included me .. me
how do i unfold that ?
how is there a place for me in the space inhabited by Christ ?
does God not care who i am ?
does God not know who i am ?
surely ..

and so i am left with what exactly ?

i am left with the virtually unbelievable thought that God does indeed love me
and has accorded me standing through Christ
and not just standing, but affiliation as child
   as if i was His own flesh and blood ..

..

that, my friend, is a God i can serve wholeheartedly