Tuesday, November 22, 2016

christian ? who dat ? .. reflections on lost sundays and who am i ..

uhmm .. sunday morning .. .

used to be i was up at the ungodly hour of 6 to get us all moving for church meet at 8:30
that ran into sunday school
we made it home by noon-thirty
then prep lunch, eat, paper or telenews or such
nap
5:30, prep for 7:15 service
home 9:30
   as in p.m.
..
sundays were long days
.. and burdensome
think about that ..
sunday is the new saturday in the judeo-christian calendar
   and saturday was sabbath
      a day of rest
      .. and rest does not equal burden
burden is weight
sabbath is release, freedom ..
.. it was also the day they gathered to celebrate their Christness in community, in freedom while under the gun
methinks sabbath was intended to be a joyous celebration of life and God and all things good
..

it took this stuckinthemud fundamentalist-of-the-first-order like a looooong time to recognize the burden i was carrying
   and the incredible load with which i loaded-up my family ..
take it from me, it ain't worth it

.. and too there's this, the first sunday question from a very good friend is " did you go to church today? " ..
.. i get that
i get that the Assembly is supposed to be like the one place i get to be in my christianity
i get the excitement the anticipation the longtobethereness of it
..
so, question ..
you feel that way about your Assembling ?
?
..

thing is, i put all my eggs in a basket labeled " this is your Godduty list "
and i drug everyone within arm's reach along with me
.. it took me far too many years and way too many hurts and affected-lives to realize the utter absurdity of my totally clumsy christianity
hobbling, ducking, face-on, stand with the standing, sit when the seated sit, sing sing sing, put money in the open plate soeveryonecanseewhatyougave, shake hands, smiley smiley, dress-up, lots and lots of masks, and all that tags along with the christian thingy ..

sorry ..
it wasn't all bad, believe me ..
there was tons of good teaching and a well-rounded perusal of the scriptures as a whole, which taught me to respect the older testament too
there was in-depth study, and a lot of practical too
and they were good people who were looking to be good christian people

and i'll stop there with my personal religious history ..
..

point is .. what the hell is a christian anyway ..  . ?
just thought i'd ask my self on this fine finally Fall sunday in this 'ere ol' south
.. 'cause i ask my self crazy questions all the time
it drives me insane
but it keeps me sane
makes me rethink me
like, dude, who are you anyway ..

you gotta do this
you just have to
because this .. the day you stop is the day you give-in to whatever concrete-pouring went on in your life, and life ain't about concrete
it's more about water and wind and fire
   cool smells
   and turning-leaves that absolutely assault your eye
   that dog who knows you better than you
   long walks on a warm beach with seaspray in your face and God in your whistle
and discovery that derives from a persistent drive to discover you
   and God
   and where you fit-in on this amazing planet
   in this crazy world where you count
      where you count

because
if God did in fact create you/me in Godimage
   and i-for-one am convinced of it
then there's something about God in us
and to let that simply float downstream like so much Fall leafery
   is to diss your life
   diss God
   disparage who you're meant to be in the intertwined artistry of that hilariously
      extravagant Grandmaster who tossed planets and erected mountains
      and feathered flying creatures and leaved poplars ..
and how do we get away with that ?

we count
because we are Godlike creatures
   we have privilege
   influence
   words
   choice
   2 feet to stand on
   imagination and creativity
   minds that can glide the galaxies
      and a soul that knows the reality of the Divine
         somehow
      sees that the Divine is anchored in unbridled freeflowing love
..

maybe a christian is someone who is truly human
   or trying their damnedest to be
because human is who God made us to be
.. that's my abbreviated description

it drips from a compendium of Genesis and Jesus
a correlation of Eden and Advent
a comparison of Adam and ' last Adam '
an attention to ' the second man '
   Jesus
      the Man
      the Human

when God wanted to show the world what God looked like
   Jesus the Human was that look-like
he was our template
our prototype
he is our Exemplar
.. Godimage is our origin
      and our destiny

a Christian is a person who aspires to the Christ
wants to be like Jesus, the Christ
is being progressively changed back into his image
   even in the midst of all the potholes we misstep into
      and the garbage bags that we grudgingly drag along
   even when we fall
      sometimes hard, face-on
   especially when we fall ..
..
a christian knows Jesus intimately at-whatever-level-they-are
   like good friends on the way to being better friends
and persistently looks toward Jesus
for life
for an understanding of life
for motivation for real life
to live life to the fullest in the gaze of the God who is there
to lead other people in the Way
   remind them of this Jesus who is the Prototypical Human
      in whose image we all are created
   define what human is from God's perspective
   and show them how human we can be in the embrace of the Spirit of Jesus

not concrete ..
flowing, moving, changing, growing, reflecting, rising and falling
discovering Godlikeness wherever we can as we go
looking for the Image to show its face wherever, in whomever
embracing Jesus all the way
..

christian is a new creature
   actually a reformat to the original creature God had in mind in the first place
a changed person
   with an intense desire to be just what God wants
   the perfecting image of God in the Christ

it's been called another birth
   new born
   spiritual awakening
it's been well-described as following that Man
..

thing is
duty never did anything for me
wearing christian colours never did either
sporting bibles
cool fish stickers
i ended-up drawing lines in the dirt
   pointing
   eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
      pretending like i'm god
      telling people when they're right and mostly when they're wrong

that isn't christian
it's cultic
it's disturbing
it's some sort of control freakishness
a clumsy christianity
..

christian is love and grace and embrace and accept and encourage and walkalongwith and help and compassion and forgive and listen and consider-yourself-to-be-less-than and push justice and supporting the least
   cause the last will be first
      the last
      first ..
up is down
common is holy
holy dwells among the common
   within the ordinary

christian is true human against the runofthemill shallowness and escapism and fear and grasping-for-something-real and chase-the-almighty-dollarness of life in this life
   which is a veiled running-scared
      a blind grasping for meaning in this very terrifying life
      where everything hangs on proving you're good enough
      successful enough, motivated enough, hungry enough to fight
         for your right to exist and to excel and be liked
   .. which really is a very false, very misconstrued representation of human
      a pugilistic shadow
      a haunting of the you that lies hidden beneath the folds of your flesh
         a you that intrinsically has value, just by the mere fact of your existence
            'cause you're human
            created in Godimage
               that's why
..

christian is taking on the image of the Christ of God
..
there's no list of rules
no defining lines
no go-to or fit-in
no box to climb into
..
it gets gnarly sometimes
kinda like a stairway in shadow i'm not sure i want to climb
the few steps i see scary
'cause i cant see
but ..
i follow this Man who cut a narrow path
walked a conspicuous line with religion
defended the lowest
pointed directly at Godgoodness
despised the church politics
   and pretense-to-godliness
   and lading people with burdens they were never meant to bear
stuck-up for the hurting
healed
fed
loved everyone
everyone
to death

that's my form of christianity ..
and i get to choose
because this: if i allow you to define for me what a disciple of Jesus is
then i relinquish my personal connection with God to your intermediacy
and i don't need an intermediary, thank you very much
'cause Jesus told me to go to God directly
   in his name
   'cause there's one only mediator between God and man ..
      the Man, the Christ, Jesus
and when we meet he's so not going to ask me about my theology
   or my church or whereonearthdidyougetthatidea? ..
he's going to talk directly to us
   him and me
      as in our history
      as in what we had going on all along while i was wandering around
         down here
and i want that conversation to be clear and clean, free of excuses
because
i don't serve a religion
or a book
or a church
i don't follow a preacher
i have no excuses to offer
   and neither do you
..
i have to be able to stand on my own 2 feet and face that Man
that incredible person who went the distance for me
who hangs out in my neighbourhood
cares about my stuff
courts my attention
wants relatedness ..
.. imagine that !

i strive for that
i aim there
i look in that direction

for me, this is the life of a christian
and there's absolutely nothing like it in this life
nothing

and you ?

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