the rotting of stuckness ..

one of the marks of a conservative/fundamentalist in any religion is the penchant for being fixed
the need for stability
the matter of being sure, unassailable
.. such that something that could potentially disrupt their security in their religion is seen as a threat, a challenge to their 'truth' ..
inevitably the hackles raise
   the adrenaline runs
      and they either run from it
      or they draw weapons to defend themselves and their truth

..

that sensibility about life and faith has its own roots in christianity
much of it roots in what today is popularly termed 'calvinism'
a think based in the fixedness of God
   a God who never changes, immutable
   a God who is timeless, as in outside of time
   who is everywhere all the time (omnipresent)
   who is allpowerful ..
and the natural fallout of those characteristics (regardless of to-what-degree there is truth there) is a concreted God, a 1,000 ft. feelingless graven image with furrowed brow and a long long whip, the 'crack' of which reaches every corner of the universe
..

sad that

i was one of those people

and then i began to open my ears and eyes to thoughtful careful caring people on the other side of the lineinthesand ..

i had drawn that line
i stood on the one side alongside anyone who believed just like me
and everyone else was shunted to the other side
they were my enemies
they were enemies of God! for God's sake
heretics who were leading people into the dark fires of hell
and my job in life was to defend God
to shoot those people
to save as many as i could ..
   .. how do you save people by shooting them ?
i lived in my absurd christianity
and the tension, the confusion, the confrontation and conflict within myself nearly killed me

as i opened up my self to those other views
i realized these were dedicated christians expressing what they saw in the scriptures the best way they could
they weren't heretics
they were good people looking for God, refusing to rely solely on someone else's take on it

i decided to engage my mind, listen to the other side on whatever issue
and consider

sure, it challenged those truth-mountains i had built
and proudly summited
but .. perhaps i was wrong .. hmmm ..
perhaps i wasn't god after all ..
maybe i was only a manufactured idol of my own design
eating the fruit from that tree of knowing good from evil
and my being right was the flaky crumblesome foundation of a 'faith' that wasn't faith at all ..
because, in my newfound think, faith is not certainty
faith is the eye that sees
   even where there is uncertainty
   even in the dread feeling of insecurity in what i built

`|`

today i received an email from a longago friend who lives in the same place i used to camp
where 'thus saith the word of God' and 'repent or face eternity in hell' is served at every meal
and i was reminded of the far-reaching difference in my mindset then and now
and how awful a person i must have seemed to those around me ..
who the hell wants to be around an assassin

it's out of that email that i write this
..

please know that God is unchanging in character
but .. BUT
God engages
relates
adjusts
cares
because God loves
you
me
everyone
God embraces
and weeps
is overjoyed
hurts
   with me
sympathizes
   with you

( a friend recently told me about a friend of theirs who has virtually abandoned God, because where was God when this awful thing happened, and that life-altering tragedy .. and she didn't know what to say in response ..
there's not a lot that can be said really
much of that will become clear when we meet Jesus facetoface
nevertheless, my take on it is that God was there with her when 'it' happened
right there
and God wasn't watching
God was suffering the abuse of her friend
blow by blow
venomed spittle running down God's face
too ..
" .. it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. " (Isa 53;:4)
there may be more to this verse than we credit ..
i know that Jesus became my sin (2Cor 5:21)
perhaps he became my suffering too, the abuse that was forced on me, the losses that killed me
perhaps he became my hurt too )
..

God didn't develop a legal system of laws and just-recompense to punish the disobedient
God didn't crack the whip
God reconciled the world to Godself by taking the fallout of the world's disconnection from God in the person of Jesus
all the horror
the evil
the anger
abuse
manipullation
violence
.. God took it all on Godself
took it full-force, maxed-out

so that when we look into the face of God we see the face of a crucified Jesus
a lamb that appears to have been slaughtered (see Revelation)
..
the true character of this God is there revealed
on a cross
for us
.. that love is the power of God
not anger
not wrath
not fixity or concrete
not retribution
but
reconciliation in love
out of a love that embraces the image of Godself in every one of us
God's power is God is love

that has to be my focus when i look at God
when i look at myself
when i look at another

Jesus, the perfect imaging of God in a human form, defines God
in all

go there
look at that Man
look at the cross

it is there you will definitively find God
   not a god manipulated and twisted into a manmade idol
   but the God who works in tandem with the humanity Godself created
      to look like and be like
         God

this is the God i've come to know

this is the God Jesus came to reveal
for us to know

i love this God
i follow Jesus

please consider doing the same ..

peace to you