Thursday, September 17, 2020

chasing glory ? ..

 It's been said, often, that the point of God's creative activity is that God gets glory

("In general, Scripture teaches that God created the world and all that is in it for His own glory.." Bible.org, first response on internet search.)

Unless we reform the meaning of the word 'glory', a common understanding of that would be that God created so that creation would worship, honor, obey, etc. In other words, God was looking for exaltation. 

But does God really need to be gloried? Does God need creation to be bowing and scraping before him? Is this the Biblical God, chasing glory? ..

..

Perhaps Elohim God looked to extend Godlove. 
Perhaps Elohim God wanted to share God's inherent beauty and unified community with other beings inclusively, invitingly, welcomingly, embracingly, not out of a desire for personal gratification, but because love is inherently an overflowing, a touching other.

Obviously they would not be God-equals, since created, but they would mirror God, receive and radiate the love of God into the cosmos, be transceivers of God's goodness, filling the cosmos with light, and goodness, and beauty, and truth grounded in Divine integrity, one massive organism, unified in being, understanding and purpose, all telling the Telling of this magnanimous Creator and sharing the love so obviously present ..
   and there, right there, God gets the glory
   not by dictating glory, but as a natural
      consequence of the magnificence of
      the God Who Is There.

The God that is there, the Living God, does not need accolade.
The Jehovah God that is Elohim only looks to share the love
   because God is love.


Friday, August 14, 2020

pray ..

part of the consequence of prayer is to remind myself ..         

life does not merely consist in what i can touch 
and see and smell 
   but includes a mysterious spiriting 
      energetic consciousness 
         that either warms to unity and love 
         or agitates violently to shatter and disengage 

yes       i am human traveling
   i am being being
and there are things i require in my travels
   some of which i am unable to furnish 
      so i ask the Divine i trust 

but   and   yes 
part of the more is   
   my presence in the travel is not merely a present-ing   
      it is a heading   
         a positioning   
         a navigating to 

prayer sees through my today   
   past lunch   
   into a future inspired by the Light by whom i see life     
it reminds me of my presence to purpose 

      ' in your light we see light '   (Ps 36:9)

Sunday, July 26, 2020

disciple ing ..

sunday ..
i really wish i was assembling with family and friends 

i have been abundantly blessed in my family here 
i feel (and I'm gradually convinced) like i belong .. 
(the gradual thing is my own hesitation at believing people really care about me - i suck it up like baby on mother's milk      it gives me life      i try not to take too much notice of myself, but the affirmation is nothing short of energizing      it's just hard to believe that the church that Jesus built actually exists in such a vivid form - i thought, surely it is not found in purity today, having lost its savor through the centuries to political and powerful and private ambition of its leadership ..) .. 

we all belong, i think      we've just lost our way .. we've become deluded and disillusioned      we have outgrown our innocence, our innate identity, way too fast, and create substitutes to hide our fear at being lost      we do not know who we are, or what our purpose in this life 

i have fallen into Grace in these recent years, and am able to admit to value in me, worth, having been found in favor with GodFather      not that he recently came to that position   simply put, i recently discovered it for myself, and surely the same holds true for all humanity   we are just lost to it, as i said 

tragedy 

so then      Jesus ..      
to re-member us, remind us of our identity - icons, images and likenesses of the living God ..      
him walking with us to be seen as humanity-in-its-fullness, learning to be human, and then unfolding his arms to embrace his humanity - us 

it's okay       
we are lost      but there's this Shepherd who will search us out, even the one
maybe especially the one

and we/i, who have seen the scales fall from our eyes and been un-blinded from our lostness, have the privilege of touching the blind around us, in complete harmony with their disillusionment      for i was blind once

and the things i say      and the things i do      and the way i live in this now      and the thing i allow myself to behold with my eye and ear       all color-in a canvas for my community of Earthpeople to behold for themselves      and speak louder-than-words to the humanity i now embrace in Jesus, Son of Human 

perhaps some of that will spark re-cognition in one, or three      and they will reach out to touch, to see for themselves what is this light, this indescribable aura of integrity, of truth, of peace, of true humanity       unfiltered 

perhaps that is the flavor of 'discipleship'      
the taste of Jesus in the face of another human
the aroma of genuine humanity-to-the-bone as witnessed in the Jesus whose spirit is jealous for me      
      as for you


peace to you

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

my Me-room ..

sometimes
    outstepping my transformation
i lie
   mostly to      Me
..

i walk by it      because this ..
in this particular room in my Mehouse
   Lies have adorned the walls for so long ..   
      i can hardly imagine this space without them
            familiar
            comfortable
            security-Lies
               of all the colours that suit the palette of this Meroom
..
sometimes
   which is far more often than i care to admit to you
      ( or You )
i go there to escape my new Me      transformed Me
         Me In Process
to walk away from the Me that just walked around the corner
   headed in my direction
!
dash !
left !      LEFT !
close the door!   quick!
..
knock knock      knock knock knock ..
shhhhhh .. don't open it ..
..
..

i slip into something comfortable
and gaze
   out of the periphery of my gaze
at the art i'd made
   to cover these walls
      obliterate the image s
      drown the sound s
      mask the scar s
         of me ..
                            no shiny surfaces
                               darkened
                               dimmed
                                  repressed

.. and i slowly ease Me into the Easychair
lost
   at last
   just for a bit ..
      rest ..
.
 .
  .   while the i that i am
         is shut out

      .. and now the acid rises in my esophagus
            and wet hot runs lines down my face
               eyes burn
            in this dingy dim
                  of my Meroom
   ..
.
.
i hate this place ..
   ..
i hate the smell of it
i hate the taste of it
i hate the dark
   the colours
   the sketches
   the faces
   the writing on the walls
   the clammy sticky chair
      that reaches out to grab my wrists and ankles
..
i hate it ..
i hate it ..
..
the blood rises in my face
   hot
as my pulse runs ..
teeth bite down hard
neck veins engorge
muscles strain
   to loose me from this madness
      in my entangling
      imprisoning
         Meroom      where my Lies still live
                             in all their grim awful
                                Dark Dread
                             in all their fearfulling ..
i hate it !
..
.
the sweat drenches in my escape
footprints paint the cold floor
..  more art in honour of
       my Lie s
..
wet fingers can barely turn the knob         curse !
   to get out !!
..
the door slowly moves
   heavy
   resisting me ..
it's steamy sick breath vomiting at my efforts
..
hard to breathe ..
..
arghh
..
out !!      out ..
..
      ..
   .
a cooling Wind anoints
   balming
   immersing
   floating
   weightless
      calming
      into Rest
      relief
         Rescue
..
      ..
one day
   soon         soon
i'm taking Me by the hand
   into that Meroom
      with spotlights
         and a whole new palette
and we'll refurbish ..
      there'll be flowers everywhere !
         the sounds of musics
                and a cooling Wind ..

.. make it so




Thursday, June 11, 2020

the spirit is willing, but the flesh ..

Genesis 15   1 Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” 
But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.”
4 Then the Lord said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” 
And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.
7 Then the Lord told him, “I am the Lord who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land as your possession.”
8 But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, how can I be sure that I will actually possess it?”
9 The Lord told him, “Bring me a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon.” 
10 So Abram presented all these to him and killed them. Then he cut each animal down the middle and laid the halves side by side; he did not, however, cut the birds in half. Some vultures swooped down to eat the carcasses, but Abram chased them away. As the sun was going down, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a terrifying darkness came down over him. 
13 Then the Lord said to Abram, “You can be sure that your descendants will be strangers in a foreign land, where they will be oppressed as slaves for 400 years. But I will punish the nation that enslaves them, and in the end they will come away with great wealth. (As for you, you will die in peace and be buried at a ripe old age.) After four generations your descendants will return here to this land, for the sins of the Amorites do not yet warrant their destruction.”
After the sun went down and darkness fell, Abram saw a smoking firepot and a flaming torch pass between the halves of the carcasses. So the Lord made a covenant with Abram that day and said, “I have given this land to your descendants, all the way from the border of Egypt[a] to the great Euphrates River— the land now occupied by the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites, and Jebusites.”
..

sometimes      God promises ..
Abram believed what God said
   God considers that to be proof of Abram's allegiance
Abram asks God for assurance
   God asks Abram for sacrifice
Abram prepares the sacrifice
   vultures congregate to degrade it
   Abram protects the sacrifice until God is ready ..
      even though God calls for the sacrifice and 
      Abram obeys, God is not ready
Abram gets tired waiting on God and sleeps
   (recall the disciples in Gethsemane)
   darkness and terror      nightmare
      perhaps Abram doubts God now
         (he believed at the first.. perhaps God is now 
         testing his belief that he asked God to confirm)
      perhaps he thinks God has left him alone

the threat from without - vultures
the threat from within - terrifying darkness

God shows up in person
   with a smoking firepot and a burning torch
      to consume the sacrifice
      to consummate the agreement God made
         with Godself through Abraham 
            for humanity ..

God makes a covenant and assumes full 
   responsibility for both parties      
      so we would know with absolute 
         assurance that the Blessing is for us ..
God signed the contract as Party 1 and Party 2

..

thought ..
when God promises me something
   and i accept that as a promise from God
then there will be external attacks (vultures) 
and attacks from within (nightmares)

waiting is challenging ..
we must protect the promise from vultures
and we must be careful to trust when we get tired
   
we persevere
   because God is faithful

God will show up
   and vindicate the promise

i can trust God

lean on that ..

amen

Sunday, June 7, 2020

skin deep ..

this is really very taxing
think 'toll' ..
there's a price to pay
   watching the brutality of our humanity on our humanity
   the violence
   the fear explode
   the lies manifest
.. 
the lie

did God really   ?

did God really create   ?
   you   ?
      in the very image of Godself   ?
         to be like God   ?

did God really
   take that image
      to be one of us   ?

does God really
   have hands and feet   ?
   and skin   ?

what colour skin   ?

does that question bother me   ?

Thursday, June 4, 2020

finding You ..

how can i find You
if i  don't follow the rules
   ?
   concrete
   budge-less
   so-very-well-defined
   inflexible
   bounden
   tight
      all the things that suck freedom from my bones
         leave me mindless
         heartless
         soulless
         automaton
         un-Me ..
..
un-Me
constructed of rules laws expectations
don't blink
don't think
don't 
   ..

how can i find You
if i follow rules
   ?


You
   Wind with no direction
      from or to
   Spirit with nothing
      to grab on to
   Word spoken
   Grace given
   Love Expressed
      freely
      boundless
      eternal
      unlimited
         You ..

.. swallow me whole