this is a religious conflict

 I have been told over and again when I make the comment that the Israeli/Palestinian Madness is rooted in religion that I am wrong. 

I was raised in the church, and after 50-some years studying the Scriptures, and understanding the implicit and inherent relationship between the God of the Scriptures, the Israel of the Scriptures, the Christ/Messiah of the Scriptures, and the Christian community, I think my claim holds. 

It is a religious war by virtue of the fact that the nation-state that today claims the name 'Israel' stands in blasphemy against the God of the First Testament who created a community of people, Israel, to show to the world what godliness looks like. This is a covenant-God who covenanted with those people, and will not relinquish the covenant regardless of their disobedience and atrocities. 

The Jesus who is God, who is the perfect manifestation of God in human flesh, is the Messiah of that Israel, 'the Christ' in Greek, according to the Christian Scriptures. This Christ is the Head of the Church Body. The Church confesses that this Christ is Lord over all. By virtue of that alone Christianity is intricately related to the Jews of the First Testament. 

That brief layout of my understanding of scripture identifies, in my view, that what is happening today, perpetrated by the violence of the nation-state that calls itself 'Israel', is intricately and inextricably wrapped-up in the Christian and Jewish scriptures. 

I hold to my claim that this is a religious war because on both counts, Jewish and Christian, it incriminates the god we claim, and does violence to the name of God. 

Those who look-on rightly implicate the God of the Scriptures in what is happening and has been happening for many years. They want nothing to do with this god. While the whole point of creating and calling a people to manifest God in the Earth was to invite the world at large to come to know the God that is, this Madness in the form of Ethnic Cleaning and Erasure of a people-group, referred to in international law as 'genocide', repels people. Suffice it to say that God is quite bruised by this and is utterly against what has been happening for almost 18 months now. 

At last formal count, over 50,000 dead people have been identified, over a third of them being children. This of course does not include the bodies still buried by the destruction that has been wrought; undoubtedly there are many more yet to be discovered. And the effects of this avowed genocide, ratified by the recognised international courts, wil be lived-out in the lives of the survivors, who will bear the soul-scars, especially the children.

My reason for saying this is twofold. One, the nation state 'israel so-called' is not to be confused with the Israel of the First Testament. Zionism and Jewry are not to be confused. Two, the implications for the Church are tremendous, and have left me in prolonged disbelief at the overall silence of the Church in the face of this massacre.

I envision tears dripping from Jesus' eyes as he looks-on at the blatant misrepresentation of the God who loves every human likewise, and wonders at the apparent non-understanding of who he is, what he said, and what he represents.

My daily prayer is that this madness would end today.

Sometimes I am happy to wear the label 'Christian'

 On inauguration day I was supremely and surprisingly blessed by a 15 minute homily given to one of the most powerful and wealthy groupings ever . 

Rev Mariann Edgar Budde, a woman no less, thank God, spoke humbly and bravely in the name of, and for the sake of, our God without trembling or tremor.

For me it was light in the midst of our present occluded Christianity, a radiant display of the power of our God, humbly and bravely spoken. 

She is my definition of prophet.

As a friend said, "Some people only care what God thinks."

here is the link to that event

https://youtu.be/xwwaEuDeqM8?feature=shared

the only message i want to hear this Christmas season

 this is my Christmas message

Rev Dr Munther Isaac is a Christian Minister in Bethlehem, the town in which Jesus was born

his is one of the tragically very very few who are willing to speak to the Horror of the Palestinian Event happening for the last 14 months, a genocidal ethnic cleansing, occurring within our very sight, live, perpetrated by a people that take the name 'Israel' in vain

it has been a shocking shock to me to observe the blanket-silence from the Western Pulpit, particularly among American Evangelicals, as my last post attests

this is, in my mind, my opinion, a blasphemy among the Church of Jesus Christ, and it will forever stain Its reputation, and that worldwide, across the religious spectrum, attracting vitriol and disgust, as it should

Jesus weeps

i have refused to sit through a Christmas service this year - sadly, i could think of none in this town that is willing to defend God in Jesus, and Jesus' take on the obvious horror that is ensuing
shame

here is the youtube link to his 20-minute Christmas message
(the poor sound quality is corrected about 6 minutes in)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUYzd2Z1NyE

peace to you

Why I am Fasting from Church

Last Christmas we were celebrating the Advent of our Christ in the context of over two months of the Madness in Gaza.

I had been squatting in that mind-bending reality and struggling, flailing around in some muckish swamp. I did not have words to express how I was feeling. I simply could not understand why I felt the way I did. It was a mystery to me.

I recognized some weeks later that it was a grieving, a weird occurrence in my life for such an event. Apparently, what was happening was deeply personal.

Over the subsequent weeks I tried my best to figure out why this was affecting me in this way.
I had a history in the Church from when I was a child. I took my faith to be an integral part of my life. I am 67 years old now, and have spent the major part of my life studying and learning the Bible. That study was initially rooted in a fundamentalistic Baptist environment, and that limited the scope of my thinking.
I managed to escape that sphere and forayed into a broader, deeper consideration of my Christianity.

Since then, I have come to the position that Jesus, the Christ of G-d, the promised Messiah of the Jews, is the very root and center of everything I believe relating to my faith and practice. 
The upshot of that is that anything in the Bible, both from the Hebrew First Testament and the Christian Second Testament, must align favorably with the person, the teachings, the attitude, and the behavior of Jesus; such that anything there that does not fit well with that approach I regard to be questionable and must be treated as subservient, subject to some other explanation.

Apart from this conclusion as to why I was experiencing this so deeply, I also came to the position that God had laid this burden on me. I had no other explanation or understanding, for it has been an aspect of my life every day since October 7, 2023, and that not of my choosing.

I had to be honest with myself. I consider integrity to be a signal aspect of my life, such that when I am not in alignment with my Self and who I am as a human and as a follower of Jesus, then I am adrift, and in violation of my humanity, one rooted in the image and likeness of the Creator G-d.

..

Aside from the unbelievable tragedy of the brutality of the modern nation/state, 'Israel–so–called', my amazement lies in the widespread refusal of the Church to call-out 'israel' for its in-humanity. Further to that, not only has the church refused to take that stand, It actually supports and encourages what is happening. And this paradox, in my mind a Hell–inspired manifestation of a learned propagandistic ideology, is staggering. I simply cannot reconcile or understand it. And it gnaws at the bones of my being.

For a community called-out by G-d and formed in the history of the Israel into which the Church is grafted (Romans 11:17), a second manifestation of the desire of G-d for a people to faithfully represent and exemplify the character of G-d to the nations at large, we, the Church, have failed and are failing as miserably as Israel has done. And I am at a complete loss.
I am faced with the virtually incomprehensible fact that I live and move and have being within a community that, for the major part, remains silent, and therefore is complicit in the wickedness that is happening.

It should be obvious from what I have already said about what I believe that this particular Happening stands-out from the other atrocities occurring in our world today, some of which are just as horrifying. As I said, Israel and the Church of Jesus Messiah are integral to any Christian understanding of who this Creator G-d is. So that to respond in anything other than total and direct opposition to the travesty that is occurring, and to state that publicly from the pulpit is, in my mind, untenable, and blasphemy.

That the rest of the World looks on in revulsion at the obvious intent of Israel-so-called to entirely eradicate the indigenous population of Palestine, appropriating Its land and resources for itself in a Colonialist fashion, ethnically cleansing and genocidally purging all human life, including infants, implicates Christianity as a consequence and further, disastrously, the Christ of Christ-ianity, my Lord and my G-d. 
I too am implicated.
This breaks me.

The ignorance of the indoctrinated Church in the West as to the marked difference between a Jew and a Zionist is tragically obvious.

There have been and are preachings and teachings from church pulpits enlisting the congregants to support 'israel' as a default response. This is amazing, but follows naturally from the 100+ years of the theology that derives from Darby-inspired End Times philosophy, the Scofield Study Bible, the Left Behind phenomenon, Dispensationalism, and such, an infection we are yet to doctor and recover from. But, as Jesus said, unless we recognize our sickness, he cannot heal us.

It goes without saying that my position has put me in a tentative, and sometimes conflicting, understanding with not only Church community, but other relations as well. And perhaps that is why it has taken me so long to say what I am now saying. It is costly, but I have come to the position that as long as I sidestep my integrity in pursuit of community, I am mis-aligned and denying the Spirit of the Christ who lives in me.
I hate conflict, and I do not intend to cause offence. But this needs to be said, not only as a response to the Church's response to Israel-so-called, but for the sake of who I am in Christ.

A central part of my understanding of who Jesus is lies in his mandate in the Sermon on the Mount, found in Matthew 5-7. There Jesus gave several illustrations to depict his core teaching of love for our neighbor. 
He eventually came to the surprising, radical statement that love in its purest form is exemplified in love for one's enemy. 

It is significant to note that when Jesus spoke these words he was addressing the Jews of his day, of whom he was one, who were then under occupation by the brutal Roman empire. The upshot of that was that Jesus expected his followers to love the people who were oppressing them, and further to show that love by their behavior.
That philosophy blatantly stands out in the current situation.

Further, consider that a major aspect of Jesus submitting himself to the violence of Humanity is to overthrow that violence for the sake of his humanity and the Humanity that he created as the Expression of G-d in human form, the very Word of G-d (John 1:1).
We murdered him for that.

I have finally come to the position that silence is no longer an option, and I repent for my reticence. 

I pray that we, the Church, awake from our slumbering and blindness.

There is more in me that could be said, but I rest.

peace to you

the integrity of Jesus, Son of Human

 there's this woman …

she's quite ill, suffering from some sort of bleeding for 12 years…
she's exhausted her finances, trying to find some form of healing…
she's traumatized

there's this man, named Jesus, and the word is that he's been healing people…

there's this day that Jesus comes close, across the sea, and she hears of it and makes her way there…

there's this crowd, bustling, no doubt all anxious to see, and maybe hear, and maybe receive healing…
but she is desperate - "I have to get to him! "

there's the struggle to weave her way to him, jostled, pushed, pushing, amid the mobbish mass… she persists…her hurting is too great to let this be taken away…

"I must get to him!! " ..

"There! I see him! "…

squeezing her way through, she is pressed on every side, and just as she nears him she falls from the press…
undeterred, just behind him as he pauses, she is within arm's reach of his feet, and reaches out between the sandaled feet of the throngers, touching the fringe of his clothing…

!!!! instantly it's stopped…
her entire world stopped in abject astoundment by the interposition of an otherworldly force in this man…

she stopped bleeding out on that spot, in that instant, for her infirmity had been healed…

trauma displaced…

Creator had healed her?
yes        indeed

..

a poignant consideration evolves…
?  did Jesus heal this woman without intending?

there was no aforethought in the mind of Jesus that he would encounter and heal this woman this day
not even just prior…
it happened apart from his knowing
GodFather had given him no 'warning', no heads-up, no direction… 

this is markedly different from Jesus' purposeful interaction with the Samaritan woman at the well, or his intentional visit with the lame man at the pool of Bethesda

he had no idea…

how on earth does that work?

he healed the sickened, purposefully he fed the hungry, purposefully he even raised the dead
      purposefully
      with intent

…

how is it that he healed her unintentionally?
      his mind not engaged
      his will not directed
how is that even possible?

apparently this was an unusual occurrence, given the tone of the text…
Jesus, immediately she was healed, asks "who touched me?!" ...
the mere posing of the question raises questions in our mind ("isn't this God?" being one)… we expect him to know, and further, to have known before the deed…

of course the disciples are taken back by his question – "how do you expect us to know that? we are crowded-in on every side"…

Jesus then says "I felt power go out of me "…

somehow, without expecting it, something integral to who Jesus is was unexpectedly subtracted, shared, given out, taken…
and it surprised him…

imagine the integrity of this person who did not rely on his divinity or divine influence, but by the sheer integrity of his humanity was fully able to bring healing naturally, almost as natural as breathing…

this incident, in my mind, challenges us to investigate our own being, to find our inner core and see if we ourselves live out of a natural compassion for our human relations, a compassion forged in the godly fire of love

like Jesus does

peace to you

i ask for peace .. a plea to the One Who Cares

here sit i
in my warm comfy clothing ..
in this intimate-y coffee shop with my connected cell and a worthwhile book ..
with the chatter from the adjoining restaurant serving up multicolored 'noise' to drown-out my barking mind pointing long fingers in my direction 

i sit here while un-counted others roam the streets and find lodging in public spaces to while-away their seemingly endless cycle of surviving the encroaching insanity of nothing solid, no fixed place, no acceptance, no fitting-in, nothing to rely on or fall back on
no hope ..  

in my comfort and security i dare not disregard my family, living in their insecurity and the constant threat of violence and aggression which could jump out from anywhere anytime ..
the level of stress underpinning such existence surely is degenerative, not merely emotionally and mentally, but physically, at the level of the gut, pulsing poison into every operating system of their body
and too soul-ly, questioning the very existence that screams cruelly in their face, mouth stretched wide, opening dark ominous avenues that lead down, only down, cavernous void spilling death-scented vapors into my atmosphere 

how on earth do they endure the night, tonight, tomorrow night, tomorrow's tomorrow night?
are they impervious to the never-ending flow of putridity drowning their present-space wherever they happen to be? 

do i realize the brave-ity required to get up out of my night-space and to face the oncoming traffic     again, on this another dread day ?
there is a certain resilience, a rebellious resistance to the daily challenge to my integrity, my sense of self-worth, my own estimation of Me as a human ..

how long does it take for that to unravel, leaving me threadbare, skin-on-bone, bereft of any substance, like some wispy tumbleweed blown across hot dry shadeless spaces, no place to lodge? 
a determination lies there, a persistent intention to not let the indistinctiveness of my existence force me over the edge into freefall .. down down into the dread darkness of the gaping mouth where Death lives 

i must respect that nobility of spirit that calls every morning with the cock's crow to get-up, straighten-up, pick-up, and head face-first into the oncoming hopelessness
there's grit there 

..

and then there are those whose mind slowly folds-in on itself as the shadows grow longer, darker, struggling desperately to deny that this could really be reality, the way things are
and so they develop friendships with their other Selves, thereby revoking their relationships, finding solace in conversations with their shadow-intimates ..
it's just become too much to continue processing, day after day, night after night, confrontation after confrontation, resistance to their Being staring them in the face with a big "NO!" wrapped in a speech bubble
.. life simply shouts "NO!" 

as i sit enjoying the opportunity to spill my mind on paper, knowing that tonight's 30s will be eased by the conditioned space where i dwell ..      what is my relation to those, my friends, my human family, who will steel themselves against the night's demons, staring into a dark sleepingbag or blanket, praying no one challenges your tenure here in this place tonight?      whether flashing blue light or desperate desperado

what should my motivation be?       my attitude?       my intention?   ? 

i ask for mercy of the One who lives there with them in that bag, and body-warmth, and comfort, and peace 

i ask for peace

      in Jesus' name

not 1 ..

 we want so much to be my individual self ..
"i can only think me, be me ..
   how else could i be?" 

and God marks it out from the beginning ..
2, not 1
a people, not Abraham or Isaac or Jacob
   or David or ..
a nation
   holy
a kingdom
   of priests
a body
   of parts 

specifically, God says, from early on (Lev. 19:18),
   "you shall love your neighbor as yourself"

not 1
1 is 'not good'
"i will make another .. and the 2 shall be 1"

i am a body-part
part of a body
   the Body of Christ

one body
   of me's 

we say
"but
   I am not you
   you are not me" 

true 

Trinity says
"behold .."

sounds of nature ..

 not absence of sound
     just no intrusive sound

sound of sounds that fit
     tweets and twitters and softened footfalls 
          on dried leaves
     a dog's pant
     the thrump-thrump of a blooded soul
          alive to the silent sounds of a live nature
     the valiant cry of a hawk in glide
     fresh-green moss growth
     gazillions of small white flowers
          blood-streaked where the stamen lay 
          at just this altitude               
               hardly another to be found
                    up or down

the wicked sound of gunshots
     crack!
     crack!
     crack!
     crack!
     betray the silence

and the responding deathly silence
     silences the silent sounds for a breath, or 3
     and then they venture abroad again

..

and i am delightedly human ..

resurrection and futurelife under Christ ..

".. if the dead are not raised, then not even Christ has been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is useless, you are still in your sins.  Furthermore, those who have fallen asleep in Christ have also perished, for if only in this life we have hope in Christ, we should be pitied more than anyone. 

But now Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead also came through a man. For just as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive .. but each in his own order: Christ, the firstfruits, then when Christ comes, those who belong to him. 

Then comes the end when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father, after he has brought to an end all rule and all authority and power.  For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet.  The last enemy to be eliminated is death.  For he has put everything in subjection under his feet. But when it says 'everything' has been put in subjection, it is clear that this does not include the one who put everything in subjection to him. 

And when all things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will be subjected to the one who subjected everything to him       so that God may be all in all. "

the word of the Lord, as per 1Corinthians 15. 16-28

let the reader understand ..

walking into Death ..

yesterday ..
such a memorable experience with my friends
I washed their feet
I couldn't think of a better way to express Our love for them
   to them
they were scandalized ..

..

there is so much lost on humanity
people still refuse to acknowledge me as Son, Messiah
they hardly recognize me, even while they shouted, cried out for salvation - "Hosanna! Save us now!"

and now .. we are here at this place in history, witnessing this cosmic singularity - everything is brought to focality here, now, in this apparent nebulousness
   even as the people prepare to sacrifice their Passover Lamb

..

my soul rebels

..  

I have seen the hatred in their eyes, the scorn, felt their murderous intent in my bones
I do not want to be here

..

how can this be happening like this?
how can they not see 

..

I feel the gathering of the unseen powers of Darkness
   advancing, closing ranks

..

is everyone against me?
I am so hated  .. ..    ?
despised
   as if all the wrong ever done everywhere is my fault 

I cannot bear it ! ..

my very body cries out !
have pity 

how am I to endure this ? ..

Father 

Father            Abba ..   .  .

will you also go away?

surely we can do this another way 

Abba ... .. ... .

..

I am assaulted
   we are assaulted !

are you here?
where are you, Abba ..

..

I will do this
   but I need your strength
I need you! 

do not leave me to do this alone
I will not be able to endure it alone

..

I am not sure I can do this ..

how can there be so much hatred ? ..

..

the cosmic Scapegoat I am
   my blood drawn in their violence
how could our Imago Dei release such venom .. ?

how have they not seen us all along
   even now
      when we have come to them in person 

?  ..     ?

I am stumbling at this
you must help me
I'm going
but you help ..   .

Abba . .      ..           .

triumphalism vs. the way of the cross ..

" As long ago as the 16th century, Martin Luther boldly voiced a vigorous 'either/or' for Christian faith in terms of a theology of Glory or a theology of the Cross. 

By the former, Luther referred to an articulation of gospel faith that smacked of triumphalism that was allied with worldly power, that specialized in winning, control, and being first, and being best. For Luther that theology was all tied up with the European Imperial of his time. 

By the contrast of a theology of the Cross, Luther referred to the risky way of Jesus that is marked by humility, obedience, and vulnerability, standing in sharp contrast to, and opposition to, the hunger for Glory. The way of the cross for Luther is demanding and costly because it contradicts the dominant way of the world. "

Walter Brueggemann

the space between ..

3 days out and tensions are building, not only in the city of Jerusalem where everybody's congregating from all over to commemorate the Passover and the sacrifice of the paschal lamb, but also within You ..

the tension's building within You - this tension of the intention in the mind of God to free humanity finally, completely, and too the tingling in your flesh, anticipating the likely crucifixion to come in days, and the tremendous weight, the sin of all humanity over all time laden on You, the scapegoated Lamb, and violently thrust into You, and You become sin .. 

You become sin!  ! ??     ?

what a conflicting thought, what a paradox .. what incomprehensible tension - that the one in whom dwells all the fullness of God in a human body becomes sin .. there is no greater contradiction, no greater unholy imagination .. 

it's the very One through whom the imagination of God was created in all its fabulous variety and color and sound and image, finally and most intensely exhibited in the image of the human image of the invisible God ..         that very One now imagines himself pierced with nails, staked to a tree, spread naked for all the world to gawk and mock and jeer, and violently unload their own guilt .. 

there is no greater condemnation than that the creator of the universe visited creation in person, and was not only not recognized, but was rejected, condemned, assaulted, and executed .. the Creator was executed by the Imago Dei, the God-images, the being created to be like God

..

" .. their cheers as I entered the temple, "Hosanna! Save us now!", are prophetic in their own right ..
I wonder what will be their response when I'm taken and arrested and charged and accosted and threatened .. "

..

' While he was in Jerusalem for the Passover Feast, many of the people believed in him because they saw the signs he was performing. But Jesus, knowing in himself what they all were like, did not entrust himself to them. He didn't need anyone's testimony about anyone because he knew human nature, and needed no one to tell him what humanity was like. ' (Jn 2.24,25)

more servants please ..

o how we love to extol and to exalt, to bow low and to scrape at the feet of those in our religious tradition, those especially gifted, learned, and privileged to stand out-front - the likes of preachers, popes, and prophets, and ivory-towered intelligentsia ..

it's a sad and tragic practice
it assaults the integrity of the person to whom it is directed
   pulling at the cloth of their humility as if to disrobe ..
and too, it lodges in the minds of us plebes that there are lords among us
   besides the LORD YaHWeH
      whom we serve as Lord

this is a serious matter .. it is a tensile force, stretching the adulated one to lengths they were better not asked to reach
   pedestaling them
   when what was asked of them by God was to magnify the glory
      of the god we call God ..
glory misplaced is our problem
   for we so love to posture people, us christians
   and to be postured, us humans 

have we not seen?
have we not heard?
   long long ago
   that we are not designed to be glorified ..
      although we are destined for glory

this preening and cooing over the accomplishments of our siblings is preface to many Falls, and we are beginning to see their outcome, to watch in our increasingly publicized camera-ed atmosphere the tragic tumbling of our Humpties ..
   and the whole world looks on in bewonderment

what a violation of the very God we claim is god !
we preach God's integrity and trustworthiness
   and then we position, one after the other, little gods
      dressed-up in our praises and adorations
      on the altars as ripe sacrifices
         for the Adversary to draw blood
   and the whole world looks on         bewondered

when will we learn?

i came to this place in the wake of the ravi zacharias ordeal
   (of course there are many others, but this one held space for me personally)
may it be the seedbed of our repentance

the other prompt - reading reviews offered on a book by the also-famous Walter Brueggemann, for whom i have much respect ..
the book is Tenacious Solidarity, and i read those reviews on amazon's website
   (you should read those reviews yourself for context)
   folk just curtseying and bowing everywhere
.. our own royalty

while bodycams are exposing some of the horrendous injustices of our policing forces, our generally shrinking private spaces are lending our lives to more public surveillance, and the secreted sins of our 'clergy' are spilling like so much vomit all over the lectern
   unraveling the 'glories' of the ones we blow-up with all our hot air
   and offer up to be sacrificed to our gods

i understand that a book needs to be promoted, but the excessively laudatory comments were nothing but scarping at the feet of the author they endanger
   may God keep him

Matthew 23.1-12 says much about this sort of hypocrisy
   and that from the mouth of Jesus himself
you should read it ..

that's why the prophets don't stand within the camp
   but outside the Commons
   apart from the highlights
so their Voice can be seen to be not-of
   uncoddled by the people who love idols

"O christianity .. how i would embrace you
   as a hen gathering her chicks 
but you simply will not" ..

you are enamored by the flash and the glare of your sequined robes
   in the bright lights of your idolatry
..
turn
time to turn back
   to shed those robes
   don the sackcloth, and anoint with ashes fitting for repentance

we don't need more gods

we need more servants

needy ? ..

 i need to be careful not to dis-count those who come to the table but bring nothing to contribute, have nothing to contribute 

that does not de-value the person
it merely speaks to the place they are in this season of life, and i need to not judge why they have nothing 
nor why they have had nothing for however long they have had nothing .. .. .  

my response is to come alongside them at the table
they are welcome here every time, part of the family 

the intention is fruit 
   their fruit
   my fruit
the Gardener takes care of the pruning 

sometimes, maybe often for some of us, we find ourselves 'needy', a place we individualistic, dominating, success-driven, competitive westerners despise and denigrate and look-down on 

i must be careful whom i despise .. 

in them i may well find mySelf

you know me ..

where could I go to get away from You
   run from Your face .. ?
      where indeed? 

if I fly through space to some far galaxy   
   You ..
dig my way to Sheol   
   You ..
spread my wings and fly as far as the horizon   
   You led me there by the hand ..

I could fold myself into the darkest darkness 
   You still find me   
      .. night is as day to You ..

You know me so well
You know everything about me
   my coming and my going   
   my descent into sleep and my rising from bed ..
   You know what I'm thinking even before I think the thought ..
   You know every place I go and how I got there
   I can't even get a word in edgewise 
      You already know what I'm going to say ..

You're out front
You're behind me
You surround me 
   covering me with Your hand 

this stuff is off the charts
I have no way of comprehending it
You even knew me when I was in the womb growing into me ..
You did that - transform me into the complex intricate me that I am

You are wonderful for sure ..
somehow You knew me even before I am ..

and the fact that You even think about me at all is enough to make me fuzzy-headed 

how do I even process all of this?

                    (Ps 139, in part)

first thoughts on goodbye-ing 2020 ..

 December 27th 2020 

the last days of a fertiley wicked year, thank God! .. 

of course, there's nothing magical about the clock's tock into 00:00:00, January 1, 2021 .. no door will slam shut, no fairy or genie will bless or oblige with a problemless planet Earth life .. 

but the mere psychology of it - the very pertinent fact that we are here to witness the demise of a year that calls for darker hues and frantic strokes rebelliously calls for ardent celebration and fist-pumping, as we squint hopefully into 2021 - the very weakened fist that yet challenges what has been with what could yet be - and is enough to embolden our resolve to defeat the challengers and reaffirm life .. and that's powerful 

I'll think a bit during these late December days of this year, as it waves goodbye, of what it has been - how it has touched and torched, in what ways it crushed, how it ruined, but also the encouragement and resolve it fostered, the bravery to push through, the constancy to look in the looking-glass and confront the exhaustion, and to say "I'm going in again" one more time .. right there's the stuff of humanity, engineered in the mind of God 

of course history is replete with the horrors of humanity,  but we had not yet seen it with our own eyes until this 2020 so blatantly belched it planet-wide, the very potent smell forcing us to cover our face 

it will be a very real challenge to read and watch the rehearsals and rehashings, the retellings of a most painful year for many of us, one that leaves an empty chair at the table .. 

there will be many heavy tears before this year is through

This Gift ..

 while we fawn and fumble and fuss
   with glitzy paper, ribbon and such
this gift lay covered in straw
   inhaling the very earth-scent of dung

this gift had its being and moved and lived
   within the very fleshy womb of a young woman
tabernacled for just the right time
the first Christ-mas

and angels danced
   while trumpets sounded in an unearthy tone
and shepherds
      poor and unimportant
   leapt and raced
   bearing Good News

sages from afar had left their birthright
   to discover
      the treasure hidden in a bosom
            (unable even to mutter an intelligible Word)
   and brought gifts
      for This Gift

who knew   ?
expectant Israel
   yearning for deliverance
   waiting
      breath held in anticipation
   knew
   and recognized This Gift
      presented in their temple
         acknowledged
            human
            Jew
           under Law

and yet This Gift was given
   to all the world
a reminder that the One who created it all
   imbues this our humanity
      with Godself

the greatest gift ever, Mum ..

we're waiting ..

 where are You   ?

God ..   right   ?
God ..             ?

the world runs   
   races
      to madness
drunken surely
taking the whole world with it

where is God   ?
where are You   ?!

You're coming      right?

it's darkening ..
we barely can see

we need You
   now
   now      now

where are You   ?

come !   now !

we're waiting .. .  .   

please come now      ..

i see ..

i can't see very far these days ..

ageing eyes struggle 
   in this dawning night of smoky scenes
      where Lies prop the street corners
         in their sequined highheels
      and no one
         absolutely no one
      is promised tomorrow
         in this land of sneak and pickpockets
         and street-corner preachers
            with me-holes in their jeans 

neon-ed promises
   whistle at the weary ..
spots darken the tarmac
   where one of us got caught
      too long staring at the loud headlight
         horn screaming 

it's just too BloodyMary much for my life's eyes
have to retreat
shutter the myopic windows for a bit
rest from the mad-inducing assault of Animus
   Ares and Mars in tow 

.. .

just there ..
   the smoke clears
   the discordant cacophony stilled ..

clarity

smiling eyes welcome
   the pleasant sight of a Lamb
      clothed in Light
      holding Shalom
         while lightbearers dance in circles
            around the Tree of Life

..

i
see
You

all because of Christ ..

When God decided to share Godself, to overflow into others, the Godhead selected one of Themselves in particular to Christ the happening of it .. 

Word, Expression of God, undertook the Human Expression and everything connected with it ..

and the human being became a living soul, imaged in the likeness of Elohim God, Christed with authority over Creation, to care for it in honor of its Creator, and to reproduce Images of God, filling the good Earth with goodness, reflecting the nature of Creator God for all to see - all the Authorities and Powers and Rulers in the cosmos will witness the goodness of God in the Christed creation. 

When the created Images of God rejected the authority of the God in whose likeness they were imaged, the Word expressed and took on flesh, leaving behind the form of God.   The one who existed before the creation and by whom everything was created - the things visible as well as the invisible Thrones and Rulerships and Kingdoms and Authorities in the worlds unseen - took human form as the ultimate visible expression of God to humanity, to reorient the Christed humanity to God and reconcile their injured relationship.   

Through the deathblood of this humanized Christ. we are ushered into God's presence holy, blameless, standing without fault before God in Christ.   This is an unfathomable and perplexing mystery that calls forth our faith, trusting that the same person who created us also redeemed us, this Christ, and claims us as God's own possession, God's inheritance, in Christ, sons and daughters in good standing.

The very one by whom creation exists and continues to exist instantiates as very Human, and stands-in before God for all humanity, to be, one good day, recognized universally as the God in whom all humanity is embraced and included, one with the Father through the Son of Man .. one with God in Christ .. 

.. and our home will be God's home, and we will each be perfected Images of the Living God, Expressing God's goodness throughout God's good creation, and God will be all in all .. 

all because of Christ ..