wasted privilege ..

i'm a privileged white
i'm probably within the top 10 percentile of the planet's 'wealthy'
..

yet
i lament today ..

my lamentation derives from a mass of Earthhappenings that furrow my soul, staunch my heart, numb my mind ..

but moreso, muchmoreso from my comatosity
my lament is internal-focused
my lament is me
for in my privilege i responded poorly

with much of life swept downriver, i am shamed at the sheer waste of me, so much dirty foam polluting the riverbank
when i should have been a wave, at least a ripple - moving, affected, effecting, pushing and pulling, spreading life

instead i meandered around
   this or that turn
pushed
pulled
moved
like so much muddy foam
..

i lament, anguished sorrow at the brutal cowardice of me
in the shameful reality of a world gone bad
rife with violence
wickedly unjust
massively colonial
raping planetEarth behind the treeline
pumping its sewerage into the Clear Blue
class-ifying
enslaving
bombing
stealing
   by law

merciless injustice
caring not
heart of stone
..

and where was i  ?

what did i  ?

what said i  ?

..

i can't comment on the injustice and inhumanity of 100 years ago or 1,000 years ago with its violent bad and disregard for Earthlife
i didn't live 100 years ago or 1,000 years ago

i live in now time
and i lament at me in my inaction, silence -
just so much tacit approval
through my refusal to fight it
to rebel
to revolt
..

thousands have died in their flight for refuge from war and death and destruction
millions wait in makeshift shelter and foodlines
millions dead in the wars of the powersucking moneygrubbing states-with-no-soul
millions dying from eating trash, drinking polluted filth, while 1/3 ! of this world's food is wasted, dumped
millions on the run from lost land and exponentially increasing bad-weather phenomena
while some still deny
while we pump-and-burn
frack-and-pollute
cut-and-bare the planet, shredding its clothing, proudly displaying our Imperial New Clothes
..

no, i'm not rich
i don't sit in any Seat of Parliament or hold Congressional Office
i am not a scholar or statesman with influence over the minds of people
..
but i'm someone
some privileged one
and i should've been in line with the other peons
speaking out against injustice, loving mercy, walking humbly with my God


for inasmuch as i could've done it for the least
i could've done it for Jesus

.. .

it's not too late for me in whatever life i have left
just a sickening waste of goodlife
of Godlife
..

don't you dare do likewise ..