the radical Christianity of the first Christians

I read an interesting article today about sharing in the early church, by no lesser person than an academic. it really is worth the time and consideration.

".. for those of us for whom the New Testament is not merely a record of the past but a challenge to the present, it is occasionally worth asking ourselves whether the distance separating the Christianity of the apostolic age from the far more comfortable Christianities of later centuries — and especially those of the developed world today — is more than one merely of time and circumstance."
end quote

find the entire thoughtful article
here

peace to you
and goodwill

sabbath? to or not, and whyfor ..

a podcast with Walter Brueggemann on what sabbath is all about and if/how it applies today.. here

(there's quite a bit of chat, both before and after, between the 2 hosts .. don't let that dissuade you from the interview)

where is my wealth ?

and someone approaches Jesus ..
" Rabbi, what good thing do i have to do to gain eternal life ?"
   " why ask me about 'good' ? there's only one person who can define 'good' ..
      if you want to enter into Life keep the commands of God "
" which ?"

   ' which ' is a strange question .. who would think that there are certain ones
   to be kept, but others not so much ? .. they're ' commands '
   so Jesus lists some of ' the 10 ' Big Ones, and adds this one .. love your
   neighbour as you love your own self
      ( at least according to the current translations; but if we look at the
      commands Jesus points to, they are all concerned with neighbourliness ..
      perhaps then this last thing Jesus mentions is not a command in the
      sense of the others, but a summary .. as He said elsewhere, all the
      commandments and the Law and the Prophets and the Writings are
      summarized by 2 things - love God with your entire self, and love
      your neighbour as yourself )

" i've been doing these .. what else is there ? what am i missing ?"
   which is another strange question .. why would he think he was missing
   something, that there was something else ?
 
      Jesus' answer is likewise strange - " if you want to be perfect .. "
      huh ? now i'm lost
      are there different levels of getting eternal life ? such that one level is
      not so 'perfect' while there's another, perfect level ?
         perhaps a pastor's wise comment will help .. perhaps Jesus is
         saying, the same way that God is perfectly God you be perfectly human,
         and the perfectly human thing to do is to love your neighbour, and the best
         way to demonstrate that is by relinquishing your hold on your wealth
         and using it to feed the poor around you ( see Matt 5:48 ) ..

hanging his head in despair, the man turned and walked away
this was the one thing he just couldn't do .. he was a wealthy man
..

consider .. the man asked Jesus about ' eternal ' life
   life-to-the-fullest
   quality life that supercedes common life in
      the now
   life beyond this life, both in terms of existence and in terms of quality
   presumably the most significant question/concern a person can have ..
presumably he comes to Jesus because he believes Jesus has the answer ..
and yet
   he chooses not to
   he decides to keep his wealth
presumably to forego eternal life ..

" no thanks " ??
really ?
..

where to go with this?
   where does it take you ?

don't just think ' rich ' ..

what is it that i hold-to as my wealth ?
   what is it that i will refuse to give-up to gain eternal life ?
      or who ?
at what will i hang my head and walk ..  ?
   that thing becomes my wealth

?
what will it take to make me change my mind
   to open my hands and let the ' wealth ' go ?

?
will i ever ?

?
do i believe there is eternal life
   life that transcends this life
   that surmounts
   that fills full 
      abundantly              ?
??

is there faith here ?
   in this place where i am
..

will i relinquish my hold on all for Jesus ?

because Jesus wants me all
   all of me
   my everything
   me in all my meness

and to be perfect means for me to be loosed of all my wealthiness
so that i can be fully truly human

   like Jesus

      no attachment
      no encumberance
pure human

have a listen ..

a great podcast with Brad Jersak mostly around his then recent book, A More Christlike God ..

enjoy
link

askin' for trouble .. .

i'm not really asking for trouble ..
don't like trouble
or confrontation
i walk away

but
   the everpresent 'but' ..
there are a few things i'm taking-on
and won't let go until ..

i've been around a bit, seen a few
i take a large suitcase with me when i move
   full of stuff i learned as a younger human when i was
   soaking-in the world around me
a lot of that stuff is religious stuff
   and it's heavy, specially at this stage of life when i need to be travelling light ..
some of it i've already dumped, replaced with a lighter burden
but some of it is inprocess stuff that i'm working through
   .. i figure if i'm not working through something in my life
   i'm dying a death
..
i used to take the position that this was cleancut blackandwhite law
   laid down a few thousand years ago
   and, well, you know .. nothing changes ..
and there's a huge badass god hovering with a huge badass flyswatter policing my stuff 24/7 ..

and then Jesus walks in and ..
.. how do i face him with this animosity ..
      me and my flyswatter
      just waiting in the shadows
      for someone (or me) to break this rule or affirm that think
         like i was god or something .. .

so, ya ..
there's that
and there's me living in this 'ere ' Christ-haunted south ' (Flannery O'Connor) trying to keep my mind's mouth shut in the face of the fried-in derivative fundamentalism, more recently labeled 'evangelicalism'
knowing that when i do say anything off-color i'm going to get spanked by someone who likes their luggage just the way it is thank you ..


but this is my blog (all the ' I's ')
and i get to say my mind here .. that's what blogging is about
and for me not to say my mind = me lying, and i'm not much into that
.. so if you get offended at something i say, i'm sorry you're offended, but i'm working on trying to become more like this person i've committed to follow, the only one i pledged allegiance to
   and he has a certain attitude about this stuff that i'm dealing with
   which doesn't easily fit-in with the going standard evangelical
   takeonit
      a button i don't wear anymore
         or the fundamentalist one either ..
i prefer his yoke thanks

so, just to be upfront and all
   to 'come out', as it were
here are some things i'm working on
as in, trying to find the mind of Christ on them

race and white privilege
   this tops, because there is massively serious kickback for raising the issue

lgbtqi christians
   are they ?

women preaching/teaching
   should they ?

non-violence
   affirm ?
   exceptions ?

inerrancy and infallibility of the bible
   to step on my theological toes

Jesus, the human
   my greatest challenge ever


the reason i'm chasing this stuff down the rabbithole is that there's good reason for me to think that Jesus' take on it may be quite different than mine has been
and i owe it to Jesus and to those people i've been fingerpointing to reassess, rethink, and to be reckless enough with the standard fundamentalist take to be willing to change me
   change me
.. regardless of what anyone else thinks
because
there's only one person i will fall for, give it all up for ..
everyone else has to kinda lineup behind him ..

so if/when i spill my stuff on this blog
be understanding ..
i'm not stepping on you ..
   in fact i'm more likely stepping on me

i'm simply sharing my think, because perhaps someone else is working on that thing too
and maybe something i said is worth something to them on their journey

after all, .. i'm just human
in pursuit of the Human


peace to you
and love

consider ..

in my ongoing journey here I'm considering some stuff that stiff-hearted Christians eschew, walk past in denial, rely on others to consider for them, don't care about .. kinda thing

here's one for ya
here

peace

the stuff of us ..

i can pile my stuff over me
   cover my self in it
   hide behind or under it
dress my self
   paint my face
      mask
..
then one day
it goes
   it's gone
worse .. you see it gone
there in front of you
   below you
   above you
piled
   in its destruction
as you stand there in it
   under it     
      in the shock of its goneness
my stuff that made me me ..

and now i am destroyed ..  .

who am i really
   ?

Hell, just listen ..

Brian Zahnd on hell

http://wolc.com/watch--listen/sermon-archives/what-about-hell/

violence in the OT ..

the link below addresses violence in the Older Testament, an 'evidence' often used to support it today ..

listen to Brian Zahnd's comments

click here

bits 'n pieces ..

i had the privilege last week of going to texas to help with the recovery after Harvey ..
it was made possible by donations from family and friends ..


it was a dread reminder to me of the tenuous nature of the life we live .. fragile, not something we can rely on really ..
   not something we really can rely on

what is you life ?
a breath
a whisp
a grass
   blown in the wind
   dried in the sun

..

so if i can't rely on my own life ..
wow ..

that questioning wonder leads me to a couple other questions
what can i rely on
what am i relying on
..

we walked into a house that had flooded to the ceiling
everything was destroyed
the place had to be gutted
everything gone

the guy was distraught
confused
lost
in shock

led me to wonder about me and what my response would be if all my stuff was destroyed
..
like .. what am i made of?
am i the accumulation of the stuff i have
how much of me is ..

what happens when that stuff goes
is destroyed
who am i then

who am i now .. ?

__________________________________________________________

yesterday we heard about 'rest' in the assembly
here are a few thoughts from that time ..

we often long for the slavery we've been set free from
   (that one tugged at me)

there's a certain amount of security in bondage - you don't have to make decisions

we weren't meant to rest after death, but in this life

we try to earn our rest .. it's not something you work for

you work from a place of rest, not towards it

it is the voice of God that leads us to rest
   (the Voice)

worship is the path God walks to your soul

obedience is nothing more than an act of faith

we're looking for a place and it's not a place
we're looking for a day and it's not a day
   rest is a posture of the heart

_________________________________________________________

beware the praise of people
   even when that praise is 'well-earned', the result of a 'good cause'
..
the flesh loves to be coddled


peace to you

it's me o Lord standing in the place of need ..

i attended a 'celebrate recovery' class last week ..
i wasn't sure why exactly ..
maybe i just wanted to see what it was about
.. perhaps i thought i'd be able to help somebody else get 'fixed'

whatever ..

thing is, in the opening session one of the facilitators offered us a keyring-thingy
   a reminder of our commitment
well .. now commitment was a bit far down the road for me just then
besides that, commitment to what ?
   i wasn't admitting my Self to the program
      i was an observer, a contributor, a helper, a supporter kinda thing

   curioser and curioser ..
somehow deep inside i had a feeling from the first time i heard about the program ..
nebulous, fuzzy, undefined feeling ..
mayhaps i should be there

and then .. there was this experience i had several years ago when i went with a friend to their alcoholics anonymous meeting, and experienced something i later attributed to my imagined idea of what church should be like .. it has never left my mind
perhaps that memory contributed to the feeling i had that i should be there

and on sunday somebody spoke about it and encouraged people to attend ..
it's not just for the addicted, etc. .. it covers a whole swath of issues you may be toting around, things you probably would do well to ditch, perspectivize, acknowledge .. deal with
  and that nuanced it a bit

   so i went
and in the going i think something bumped inside me
and i took one of the keyring-thingys
and i sat through the intro, and the session
and i watched and i listened and i wondered
   again
      why am i here ?
      what is it in me that brought me to this place ?
..

i'll contextualize it a bit ..
on sunday the preacher made a point i'd not thought of concerning one of my fav passages - Matthew chapter 5, last verse
it's a statement by Jesus which he made after the phenomenal unbelievable incomprehensible things he said about taking the next slap and going the next mile and shedding the next shirt .. . . and loving enemies, perhaps the freakiest thing of all ..
   all of which the preacher subsumed under the thought "don't be afraid", "do not fear" ..

in that last verse Jesus said "be perfect, just like your father in heaven is perfect"
one of those verses i used to " ? " in my bible all the time ..
   not a thing for me to worry about
   i'll never achieve that for sure; in fact, who can? ..
but preacher said it's not setting you up to fail against this impossible standard
rather it is a thought that, just as God is perfectly God, the endgame for us is to be perfectly human, just as we were designed by God to be, just as we were imaged by God to be
   maybe just as Jesus came here to remind us
      by being The Son of the Human ..

and i watch him human
and i want to be like His humanity
i want to be the human the preincarnate Jesus/Word/Creator designed for me to be
..
and i am so very far from there
   many many miles to go before i sleep

and i have an increasingly persistent barking at my heels
this bugging nagging yap-yapping that i so want to lockout
   leave me in peace
.. i suspect i am that nag
i suspect it is i that stand in the place of need

it's me
not him
or her
or them
   me


i need to recover from me
so
help
me
God


peace to you

re-new-ing your mind ..

produce
consume
produce consume produce consume ..

' work ethic '
accumulate
hard worker
successful person

produce
consume
produce consume produce consume ..

scarcity

not enough

   never enough

compete

   scarce resources

      because i ..... .

eucharist

everyone !

welcome !

all of you, welcome to the table

   share in this

plenty

enough for all

   to share

and on the 7th day

God

   rested

sabbath

   rest

from produceconsumeproduceconsume .. .   ... .

..

or lose my perspective

and everything becomes 

   produce consume

God

rest

eucahrist

sabbath

jesus .. take my discipleship-yoke and follow me

and find rest for your soul

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 

Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls ..

.. my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

   (Matthew 11:28-30)

now go here and listen to wisdom, to ..

this

when sorrow and Grace meet ..

sometimes we chritians forget that we are but dust
   divined dust
      but dust nonetheless
   fingerprinted with the insignia of Creator god
   designed with the mind of God in mind ..

and when we forget
we imagine that we can outrun
   who we are
   who God is ..

mostly we end up making of ourselves self-righteous fools

`|`

hopefully there arrives an event that simply scatters me
   rattles my innards
and the lieing pretense comes vomiting-out all over my cool branded jeans ..

maybe an illness
maybe a 'word' from an unbeknownst prophet
   put there by the Spirit to catch me off-guard in my secure space
      where i feel quite secure
..
and all my righteousnesses are nothing but filth
   vomited all over my cool jeans ..
   in my secure space

i'm left stripped
   naked
before the compassionate steady gaze
   of the God with whom i have to do
and tears come running out
   all over my mascara-ed blush
as the mask runs ..

i am undone
discovered to my self
denuded of the self i wore
   in all my wrinkled spots ..
quite undone

 `|`

and Mercy speaks
and Grace touches
me
   just then
..
and i shockingly know that i am loved

`|`


a by-thought ..

in that scattered vomiting event it's vital for us to recognize that
   while the regret and remorse bite
   the naked shames
   the real me lies scattered in so many jagged pieces in plain view
God hasn't moved ..
..
God is moved by it, but God hasn't moved
God is the very same god
   intensely in love with me
   regardless of what i've done

and too
the very instance of my sorrowing over this event that rattled my innards
   broken over my God-betraying self
is the very evidence of my faith in that God who loves me
   whose name is MercyGrace


peace and love

perhaps ..

at the end of the day when this age rolls over
   perhaps our concept of judgment will not at all be like we thought ..

in the brilliantly clear light of Godpresence
   perhaps nothing will need to be said ..

there will only be a pungent sense of Godgrace permeating all creation
and we all will simply amble, eyes wide in wonder
   our sight enlargened to know finally, and unexpectedly
         the purity of love and the incomprehensible power of
         the God that created it all


that revelation will simply clarify all
   every motivation, wicked thought, abusive intention, manipulation
      every selfish construction ..
   every underlay of goodness, thoughtful
      gift kind intention, accepting embrace
      turn-of-cheek, loving act

all will be laid bare in that brilliant, clarifying light, not a word to be said ..

and God will be all, in all ..

what I mean ..

all my fumbling
   for words
   for how to say
scratching my head
like chicken
   searching

You are what i mean

the words and the how
mere expression ..
communing
   with other
   with myself
   with You


   but
You are what I mean

no scratched, fumbled words
serve to express You
   wonderful Expression of God
You are word
   expressed in-life telling
   in-death torturous
   in-risen forever

entangled
interwoven
with
among
in
part of
   your spirit with my spirit
..

you are what I meant all along



(The clause 'you are what I mean' is Chris Green's)

and God said ..

i cried out to You ..

with a loud voice i cried out
a voice only You could hear

I cried out to the Lord

my soul repeated the refrain
listened
   again
for answers

..

do You not hear me ?
will You not answer ?


Soul frantically waves his arms
   very like a Drowner ..
" HERE !   over here ! "

night upon lengthening night Soul clocks in
uniformed in his '?'-adorned blackness
untiring Watchman
relentless Crier
..

looking for You
   as my shadow lengthens
..

i cried out to the Lord ..
   to Whomelse would i cry ?

the Lord has been my Tether in the storms
my Recourse in my stumble
the Reminder of my Soul
   .. " i am with you .. always "
..

and the Lord heard my cries !

the Lord heard me !
 
   and said ..
..

praises to the Lord
blessing to the Name of the Lord
i lift up the Name
I lift it up
   even as i cry out
      " blessed be Your Name
         my God "

God answered me
spoke my name
   to me
stilled the hunger-cries of my Soul
..

i was lost
forsaken in my own eyes
desperate for God
adrift

and i cried out to the God Who Is There
   .. somewhere
and God heard my cry
and God finally answered me

i have heard the voice of God
   once more
the Lord heard me

   and God said ..
..
.

all ears ..

looking for You today ..

been at it all my life ..

and even though i wrestle with myself in these recent times
   i'm back

how can i not be ?

i have not arrived

sometimes i feel as if i am nowhere
   after all this time
      all this long struggle
..

still scratching at the Ground
implacable
looking for You
   i won't give up, You know
..

i thought ..
i was taught ..
i learned
   i thought i had learned You ..

now i drift
slow easy
watching
looking

i suppose You know that ..
don't be too hard on me
i'm trying
   really i am
..

.. are You there ?

can You hear me ?

i'm listening ..
all ears

waiting for You ..

or maybe waiting for me
   to awake from my lifelong slumber
   to see You
   hear You strolling in the garden as i scratch the Ground
      in search of You
..

i'm back here
scratching at You Ground

how could i do otherwise
i haven't found me yet ..
and i think i need to find You to find me
..

someone said i wasn't listening to You as You move
i needed to wake-up

someone said i was listening too hard
i needed to ease-up
..
ah?
eh?
You say something ?
what'd You say ?

..

looking for You
here
as i scratch at this hard dry unforgiving Ground
searching for forgiveness for the i i am
waiting for You to tell
to call
whisper
shout
speak my way
ask me something
   anything
demand of me
instruct me in the way
rebuke

   only say something
..

.. You say something ?

i'm all ears ..
least i think i am ..
..

someone said
" if you want to hear God, then answer Him, " yes "
and then ask, "What was Your question?" "
..
i like that

..

i want to hear
   all ears

speak Lord
Your servant listens
let me hear You in the Ground

i listen for You today
again
in the place that claims Your name
where goodhearted folk sing and express and dance and praise and agree and look all happy and excited and call Your name ..

i listen for You there
call my name

speak Lord ..

your servant ..

the nature of love ..

"
you can't learn to love people without being around actual people -
   including people who infuriate, exasperate, annoy, offend, frustrate,
   encroach upon, resist, reject, and hurt you,
   thus tempting you not to love them ..
you can't learn the patience that love requires without experiencing
   delay and disappointment
you can't learn the kindness that love requires without rendering yourself
   vulnerable to unkindness
you can't learn the generosity that love requires outside the presence
   of heartbreaking and unquenchable need
you can't learn the peaceableness that love requires without being
   enmeshed in seemingly unresolvable conflict
you can't learn the humility that love requires without moments
   of acute humiliation
you can't learn the determination that love requires without
   opposition and frustration
you can't learn the endurance that love requires without experiencing
   unrelenting seduction to give up

The way of love, then, is the way of annoyance, frustration, disappointment, unkindness, need, conflict, humiliation, opposition, and exhaustion. No one would choose it if love weren't, in the end, its own reward.
This difficult way, this way of love and suffering, this way of Christ is unavoidably the way of the cross.
"

Brian McLaren
( The Great Spiritual Migration, pg 184 ff. )

certain ? ..

sometimes when I'm tired of reading I listen ..
today it was an interview with Peter Enns about his book, The Sin of Certainty, Why God Desires our Trust More Than Our Correct Beliefs ..

if there's any sense of wonder or questioning in you about your life and the meaning of life, and God and you and how you relate, I recommend the listen

even if you're pretty sure you have it  all covered ..


go here

you'll appreciate the genuineness and the honesty and the insight

The Sin of Certainty: Why God Desires Our Trust More Than Our "Correct" Beliefs https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XHQA8P6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_-F9czbZGMXRYJ

wrestling with life ..

' israel ' is foundational to understanding God, human, and the relationship between us ..
not the nation israel
but the concept behind the word ' israel ' as seen early-on in Genesis

i got on this thought out of the insistence of some that the ' truth ' of the Bible as we interpret it is the truth, and not to be trifled-with - ever ..
in this line of think there's no place for doubt in the believer's life, or for questioning
one person recently said to me that to doubt is sin ..
that kind of think is my brought-upcy .. i learned to walk in that teaching, and lived it for many years ..
   ' truth ' ( as in ours ) is fixed and there's no possibility of adjustment
      so suck it up and solidify
      stand yer ground and repel all naysayers

`|`

and God called-out Abram and covenanted with him
   and renamed him ...

but the ' people of God ' the older Testament follows are not called or named after Abraham
they are named for one of his grandsons
   who was himself named ..

the telling of that story at Genesis 32 is remarkable from several perspectives
   ( read the 10 verses, 22-32 here  )
but the one i'm holding-out here is Jacob's determined persistence to know and be blessed by the preexistent Jesus ..
this is where my head is right now, in view of the calcified theology and the cemented mindset that i'm expected to hold on to

that incredible drive to be recognized, acknowledged and blessed by the One in the event
the impassioned overwhelming engrossment that drove everything else to the periphery
   even his wives and children and vast possessions
      ( not that he sent them away - they were already separated
      - but they were out of his mind now, whether present
      physically or not )
   it was as if nothing else mattered at all ..
.. is what matters to me here

this encounter
   new encounter, strange yet familiar, bloated with possibility
   leading he-knew-not-where
was the issue for Jacob ..

and my concern is that of being open and exposed to change and movement within the recognizable context of the God with whom i am somewhat familiar ..
perhaps even expecting change-up, what with the perennially and persistently present spirit of Jesus on the move in my life
   or rather, at least wanting to blow in my direction, move me, adjust my course
   change me ..
      isn't that what the Spirit does ?

`|`

it's the settled, arrived, cemented think that will swamp me, suck me under until hardly anything of me breathes life, the bulk of me locked-into whatever deathening philosophy-cum-theology some ' great ' men thought had to be insulated and inscribed in sinai-stones and tied around my neck, my personal albatross
..
that cannot be God, methinks ..
i'd best be open-minded ( " perish the thought! " )
   looking for naming by Him, willing to struggle, wrestling for a locked-in
   entanglement that could well dislocate my theological hip while broadening
   my view of this One who comes to wrestle with me ..
..
after all, it wasn't me that started this ..

it wasn't Jacob that started it ...
this was initiated by that Man who wrestles and eventually names ..
un-names and re-names

`|`

whether ' israel ' means ' God fights ' or ' he wrestles with God ', the explanation given by the Wrestler for the renaming is " you fought with God and man, and you won "
   ( whatever that really signifies in Jacob's context .. )
..
for me, i am left with a pungent taste of Jacob being challenged to wrestle with whatever or whoever .. and this wrestling is distinctively anti-settled, anti-cemented/fixed/unmovable
it is a muscled torsioning, every joint strained, a breath-sucking struggle to overcome the challenger, everything utilized in the effort, no energy withheld, every resource spent ..

God wants to move Jacob to some other place or level or understanding or trust - whatever it is, God wants him to move ..

and, to me, that's the thrust, the finger pointed in my direction in this journal/post ..
i dare not simply accept ' my lot '
i've not arrived or attained or completed ..
..
i am but me, journeying

some things fall off as i walk
others i must strain to cut-away, leave by the side of the road
other things i find as i travel, securing them in my pack, for they are a benefit to me as i go ..

..

there's no standing still here in this life
no putting-down roots, no foundationing for a stable home ..
I am part of a Body-family on the move, always adjusting to the threatening unfamiliarity of this ever-scarier world, relying on our Leader and each other for the bravery-under-trust to humbly take the very next step ..

refusing to fold my wings and statue
..
only move
desire
reach
seek
adjust and amend
stretch
.. follow as best i can

using whatever is at hand, whatever presents itself, for the sake of continually transforming this struggling, wrestling disciple into the imaginative image of Master Jesus, the One who wrestles, who names, who blesses ..

`|`

( aside : >>
while writing this post, i'm listening to a 2011 discussion between Krista Tippett and Walter Brueggemann ..
the point is made ( in the context of his Prophetic Imagination book ) that the call of the ( unqualified, unlettered ) prophets unsettles the hearers ..
and then this : it seems as if this call is to a ' holy unease ' .. " the Bible calls the faithful to not be too settled " ..
this at the very time i'm writing .. .
end aside )

`|`

it's notable that we are referred-to as ' pilgrims ', people on a journey, unsettled, unpinned, not dug-in
on the move, eyes shielded against the blinding glare of this world through which we journey, squinting to discover the next turn or oasis-rest or parched road that allows us forward on our pilgrimage through, toward, on ..

i dare not stand still
not now
it's late-on
   and there are miles to go before i sleep

`|`

so yes ..
' who am i ' is indeed still a most pressing question
one i hope never to abandon
for in the day i relinquish that pursual i die
my true humanity freezes
i become a relic of someone i was meant to be
   but never became

i must be becoming
Jesus is my becoming into

i wrestle to be there

`|`

where do You want me to go now ?
what direction ?

i want to struggle with You
   even in my weakness
do not let me alone
..

i see You

stretching my self, embracing other ..

i don't usually use this blog for what i'm using it for in this post ..

some time ago i read this post and was reminded of what little i know 
and some of that 'little' is a result of purposeful intentional deception by those who hold the power to influence the masses ..
such that, for example, some of the history i was taught is a misconstrual of reality, a biased portrayal of what happened, designed to display the events in a favourable way for the historian's own group while the other actors are often villainized

i have Howard Zinn's ' A People's History of the United States ' on my bookshelf, yet to be read, but fully intend to
because it's high time for this privileged empire white boy to step out of the ignorance given me by my British history education

the american colonial experience isn't the caribbean colonial experience or the african or indian, australian.. but it serves to enlighten nevertheless



   and too the use of the christian scriptures, the appeal to ' God '
   to bolster the argument for the horrible abuses deserves to be
   understood by us as christians
      and sorrowed by us

i post this here with the conviction that Christfollowers are called to truth
and truth doesn't diss the past; it acknowledges and incorporates history in its present to better allow for a better future
a better future because allowing for the relationships we are called-to today involves understanding the context of those we relate to
   part of who you are is where you came from and who you came from
as jesus people we should respect that and look to understand that
   especially from our privileged point-of-view, their underprivileged point-of-view
and excusing it or relegating it to the past so that " i'm not responsible " won't work
   because this is my neighbour and i am following Jesus who was all about neighbour ..
   actually that was his thing ..

      it defined him ..
..

for me, i'm working to find every way i can to adjust every part of my life to the example of my master, Jesus
this is one

there are 2 excerpts below, followed by a link to the article itself ..

what better you got to do in your 'spare time' today anyway ..


quote 1
" Century – Doctrine of Discovery:

In 1452, Pope Nicholas V wrote the following words in a Papal Bull:
“…invade, search out, capture, vanquish, and subdue all Saracens and pagans whatsoever, and other enemies of Christ wheresoever placed, and the kingdoms, dukedoms, principalities, dominions, possessions, and all movable and immovable goods whatsoever held and possessed by them and to reduce their persons to perpetual slavery, and to apply and appropriate to himself and his successors the kingdoms, dukedoms, counties, principalities, dominions, possessions, and goods, and to convert them to his and their use and profit”

This Bull was the first in a series of Papal Bulls written in the 15th century that became known as the Doctrine of Discovery "


quote 2
" American Exceptionalism:

In 1630, in the colony of Boston, John Winthrop preached a sermon in which he referred to the colony as a “City on a Hill” and reminded them that they must be obedient so God to that "the Lord our God may blesse us in the land whether wee goe to possesse it." This sermon was the Protestant church in America beginning to internalize and adopt the Doctrine of Discovery. It is the colonies, and later the nation, beginning to see their presence in North America as a God-blessed, even a God-ordained, event out of which comparisons to Old Testament Israel and their journey to a "Promised Land" could be drawn. Over the next hundred years or so this thinking matured into an understanding that not only was this new nation a "City on a Hill" but it also had a “Manifest Destiny” to discover, occupy and rule this continent from "sea to shining sea." "


http://wirelesshogan.blogspot.com/2014/12/doctrine-of-discovery.html?m=1

seeing blind ..

faith so-called is a limousine ride when you're living the american dream-life of independence and financial security under the protection of the empire ..

there's a certain exclusive dignity, a pompous cliquish mindset that adorns those of us who relish our western christianity - after all, we're not muslim or jew or sikh or hindu or any of those other eastern religions ..
we're Christians !
we are a christian nation and will fight all comers to secure that
and damned proud of it too ..

and then
      tragedy ..
something threatening yawns and our life is endangered, or our career
and there before us lies naked the prospect of a radically altered life
   or of the loss of life itself ..
and, in the time it takes to hand you the dismissal notice or the doctor's report, life flipped
   things got real nasty

and that faith ..
well, somehow it got knocked-over and lies scrambled on the living room floor like a broken vase of undusted fake flowers
and who's going to ever be able to unscramble that, fit the pieces, glue me back my faith ..
..

seems my faith was a label really
a bumper sticker
a tax deduction
a study Bible complete with highlighter
a t-shirt
a tattoo
a TV channel
a popular christian book carefully displayed
a once-a-month visit to an old people's home to preach the gospel so they too can get our faith before eternity snorts and snuffs ..

         = faith not ..


contrarily, when life slams or death blinks its cold sightless eyes in the dark
faith scrambles-up and shakes its mangy matted fur
raises its nose to the wind to better identify the danger
growls gutturally in defiance, hackles rising

.. it is in the colddark that faith's pulse seems to beat strongest ..

so then ..

wonderful message ..

https://youtu.be/3iTQuM8f8LY

have a listen

deconstructing god - heavenly palaces and shacks in the woods ..

well, who woulda thought i'd be here on this topic today ..
.. not i, said the wolf

used to be i wouldn't ever have considered reading ' heretical ' crud like this
most of that position having been based on
   the comments of the people-in-power in my own religious corner of my world
   and the indoctrination i underwent as a budding badass fundamentalist
      in the days when fundamentalism was really hardcore ..
         i cut teeth on a biblebelt buckle ..
            those were the days we considered billy graham a liberal ..
            the billy graham
..

so, knowing something of the up-in-armsedness of the ruling religious right elite in this country, i mindlessly sidelined The Shack as a useless, and probably deceptive, misleading, and possibly dangerous, attempt to make light of Godstuff, to reduce it to a liberalized pop version, suck all the umph out of it and render it on a plate of unidentifiable mush ..


.. shouldn't have done that ..
if there's anything i should've learned in the last decade+ it's to not simply rely on them ( or anyone ) to determine my journey, my path ..
it's my path
..

i don't remember what it was that nudged me in the direction of the book, but whatever it was turned into an experience i will not be able to adequately describe here, or anywhere  ..

the book was, for me, a massive, paragon-ic, think-altering, refreshing, confirmatory release of a lifetime of burdensome slavish commitment to a god who is sovereignly all-powerful and vindictive and will get ' his ' pound of flesh in the end ..
that's about as concise as i can be

`|`

talk about shocked ..
i was moved
   radically shaken
while a long wide smile warmed the inside of my soul ..
this was a wonderful telling, almost defying words
   this worded story that was never meant to be read by the public us
and i experienced a deep-running pleasure that simply wanted to be in this for a long time ..
i didn't want it to end
..

i considered not writing about it
leaving it alone for fear of ruining the power of this story welltold

since reading the book, i've recommended it, given it to 2 friends, begun reading it with 2 other young friends, been to the movie and re-been with 2 friends ..
i've also discussed it with several people
   a daring move in some instances where i know the folk are like i used to be ..

`|`

i really haven't read the naysayings
i don't intend to either
i heard enough of their banter ..

i can only imagine the stench of their ire
some squatting by a fire, intentionally sharpening their swords
while others plan their rebuff, complete with bible verses and doctrines-so-called
others blocking 'friends' and unfollowing people they no longer respect because now they've shown themselves to be unworthy of God and the true Guardians of the True Truth ..
imagine the gall of attempting to reduce the eternal unchangeable doctrines of God to a storybook ! ..
..

i decided to put a word in the fire

i saw the Lord high and lifted up
and the train of glory filled the space
a glorious and magnificent God
who inspired wonder and delight and marvel and a warm glowing recognition of the god who was there all along ..
   only hidden from sight by the mud-splashed spectacles
   diffused into a thousand rays of unintelligible light,
   scattered all across the landscape, like so much wind-blown pollen,
   infecting ..

imagine .. we infected people with a god of our own making
   for fear somebody else's god would become Chief Infector

and it took an unheard-of plebe, writing a fictional rendition of his Godthoughts for his children with narry an intention of publishing, to undo the wickedness of our theology, unhinge the fearsome god from his place in the throneroom where we tethered him and cast him out
allowing us the room to imagine ( again ), in childish wonder, the God that is there, here ..
the God who is grounded in love
   all other ' attributes ' taking their lead from right there
who loves us all as God's own
   creatures created in the image and likeness of Godself
      created to be like God
allowing us to breathe again
   to breathe-in the swift winsome powerful spirit of this God who simply will not let us go

`|`

i can imagine the stress of the ' heresy ! ' criers
.. their walls have been breached, their security undone, their influence threatened
   what else could they do ?
and it has been done in the form of a story
   not a theological treatise or magnum opus or systematic theology
a story
   told in the genre of the average
      accessible
      understandable
      relatable
      recognizable

`|`

first thing that sMacks you across the cheek is the presentation of God as a black woman ..
masterful
leaves your/my religion reeling from the blow ..
i imagine there are many who threw the book out at that point ..
   but, besides the fact that god is spirit, engendering no gender,
      and therefore can either be portrayed as ' it ' or more sensibly as he or she
   there is a purpose in the story for the female rendering
      and the later-on male rendering
         if we'd just read along long enough to get it
..

and then there's this unmatched unity
a shocking agreement
almost goofy cameraderie among the 3
   Papa, Sarayu, Jesus
an infused interchangeable exchange of places in an untiring dance of mutual interpleasure and co-recognition

..

obvious to the story is an insatiable desire of this God to embrace every last human ever ..
in the words of Mack/Papa
" is there anyone you're not especially fond of ? "
and Papa's response that they are all my children ..
.. even Mack's severely abusive father
   yea, even the horrible abducter and killer of Mack's Missy
      of whom Papa said to Mack, in explaining why Mack must forgive even him,
      " he too is my child; i desire to redeem him too " ..
         shocking to many of us
         unheard-of ..
..

the magnanimous untiring love of this God for all creation, all humanity, is entirely shocking ..

we pen our tomes on the ' love of God '
but i have barely ever seen anything so clarifying
   so refreshing
   so blatantly easygoing
   so pure ..
it stands-out to me as the confirming of my own ' wish ' for this kind of God to be real
   to be the God that is there
      in the face of all the wrathful pontificating from the pulpit and the gilded seminary halls ..
..

a final comment, and a more personal one ..
my favorite part of the book, the place where my heart burst and tears flowed freely
   was when Jesus invited Mack to walk with him
      on the water
   and they ran, laughing all the while ..
it's significant to me because i believe that's precisely what Jesus wanted Peter
   ( and others ) to experience
the freedom to be truly human, empowered
   as God intended in the creation event ..
vibrant images of the selfsame CreatorGod
endowed with the practical privilege of representing this God in the Earth that was ' good ' in the making
looking-after the masterfully mysterious oddity of this strange Earth-creation
   that baffled the Watchers as they watched ..
.. " what is this human that you consider them so ?? "
..

as for the theology
i find very little in the story to undermine what i have come to see is God ..
   admittedly i had to sideline and trash a lot of what i was taught
   as an upandcoming christian expert ..
   but that happened long before i read the book
      i had already parked that god, took the keys and walked away ..
this is the God i've come to know and love and follow wholeheartedly


`|`

i wish i was able to do justice to this book ( and movie )
i only wish you would forgive my paltry attempt to give it the honour it so deserves
and read the book
and see the movie
please ..

`|`

a contextual note:-
   and please take this in the spirit given ..
i have spent a large part of my life immersing myself in theology ..
it has been my overriding concern and primary interest for the last 30 years
and i've given myself to little else as a pastime/'hobby'/interest ..
so that when i say this book is one of the most remarkable things i've ever read about God, that statement means a whole lot ..

i sincerely ask you to read it ..

it will bless you immeasurably
if you are willing to put aside any preconceptions and simply approach it as a story about God

i've tried to impress you with the significance of this little book ..
i hope you respond ..

peace to you

a wink and a starwalk ..

i pass this star
that planet ..
there must be thousands
   millions ! of them
it doesn't matter that i don't know their Earthnames
i never had the time but to glance as i ran ..

run ??
is that what this is ?

i'm simply astounded ..
far too marvelous to word ..

look at that !!
.. wow ! look at that over there
.. i provide no response to my exclamations
it's like my jaw is locked-in, permanent agape


and i think, this is almost like when your life ' flashes before you eyes ' ..
you're going to be in an accident in about 3 seconds
and immediately your mind grabs a handful of memories from your life and tosses them
   scatters them before you on some unseen screen
   all scrambled
a maddening warp-speed playback that explodes your life
a reverse-dream that distills 60 years into 5 seconds
and there's no time to unscramble anything ..
just see ..

except this is no ' my life ' rerun
this is an incredulous 5-second - or 5 weeks or 5 lightyears .. time seems irrelevant now - journey out of Earthspace towards Home ..

and i can only think it must all have been arranged by my Friend
just to allow me a wink in time to be utterly overcome by his creation wonder ..
a gift
a kind of ' welcome home ' present

i'll see him in a bit
..
and a slow, lazy smile ..

thanks, no thanks, and seasonal thanks ..

i'm going to try to say this as concisely as i can
    being a one that tends to words
..

i'm not sure if i'd be writing this right now if things were different
   i'd like to think so
      but sometimes i fool my self

..

i want to thank God for a positive response to something that has been concerning me for some weeks, and for which i received some closure today

God be praised ..

..

now this ..
i reminded myself before the day's events
that God is to be thanked
   regardless of the outcome
..
my thankful heart cannot be determined by the ' good ' or ' bad ' outcomes of life
   although many times it actually is
      = fail

God is God and is not blamable for the negative outcomes in my life ..
as a child of god, God desires nothing but good for me
   ever ..
      get that

God loves me regardless of the things i do or say
and God's love for me does not ' wax and wane ' based on my particular mood or 'tude or whether i ' said grace ' in the restaurant

God isn't like us
God is ever faithful
failing never ..
   the failures are all on my part

so that God is good
all the time
all
the
time

and even when i get ' bad ' news
   God is the same God God was before i got the news
..

God never ever wills bad for me nor orchestrates evil in my life, whether it be accidents or illnesses or financial distress or marriage problems or any other ' bad ' you can bring to mind ..
ever
every good and perfect gift comes from Godfather
and there is not a shadow of turning in God

don't ever accuse God
God is not to blame for the destruction damage loss failures in our life
God wants good and only good for us

therefore
regardless of the trials of our day
we must remember to be thankful to God
   who does not desire the blood of goats or of a red heifer
   but only desires to have our loving
      attention to the Godlove
      that flows incessantly in our direction
   wants us to jump-in and be carried-away
      overwhelmed, infused with the loveSpirit
      that wants to drown this world in
      living water
..


be thankful
in season
out of season ..
thanksgiving is not a seasonal thing

thank you God

hidden beauty and true human ..

there are 110 draft posts sitting there
one i've been struggling with for a week
   which is a derivative of another failed draft ..
they will all have to wait ..
..

i've been sicky recently
but decided to brave the this-year unusual 35 degrees
and head-out to one of my favourite places for sunday meet ..
and i'm ever so glad
'cause what came down the pipe was refreshingly genuine theology
   for someone (me) tired of the same 'ol
   and longing for real spirited inspired truth a la hip
      no playing games

`|`

i'm certain i'm not going to be able to render the talk in any justifiable way
but i'll post a couple thoughts i managed to scribble down ..
   i couldn't keep-up with the many poignant quotables

the sermon was about beauty and the fact that beauty is usually hidden
and what we see as beauty is undeserving of the truly beautiful
   which often needs to be discovered for its beneath-the-surfaceness ..


the subject was Jesus the man
the texts were Isaiah 53:2 ff. and the end of Luke 23
..

the Isaiah passage ..

He grew up under the Lord’s gaze
    a tender green shoot from a root in dry ground.
There was nothing beautiful or majestic in his appearance,
    nothing to attract us to him.
He was despised and rejected
    a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised,
    and we did not care.
And yet it was our weaknesses he carried,
    it was our sorrows that weighed him down ..
and we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
    a punishment for his own sins !
Truth is he was pierced for our rebellion,
    crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
    He was whipped so we could be healed.

`|`

a nearquote ..
" God sent Jesus and he appeared in humility
      and it unnerved us ..
we expected pomp and splendour so we could justify our own desires for a king
   instead we got a servant
      who washes feet "

a nearquote ..
" the churches have made themselves look kingly, empire-like
      rather than like Jesus in his humility " ..
because we want empire ..
   which begs the question .. when people enter our churchspace
      do they get the savour of Jesus the humble servant ? ..

nearquote ..
" we want a king
      and Jesus shows up and calls us back to our humanity " ..
   and this is loaded with the righteous truth
   that we so unlike what we are in our own humanity
      that we look for a Saul rather than a David
         like we did back then
      we want regal and impressive to replace the ' despicable me ' i see in myself ..

nearquote ..
" when you learn to love the hideous, you'll learn to hate the ' beautiful ' " ..
i'll leave that one hanging ..

nearquote ..
" we despised Love ..
we condemned ourselves
   when we looked in the mirror of His face and saw us there ..
      and we despised Him for it "

nearquote ..
" Jesus lowered himself to love us
      and as a result we lowered our opinion of him "

nearquotes ..
" we would have considered him a god worthy of worship
      if he had looked like one "

" he could have amazed us with display of cosmic marvels
      but he came and washed our feet "

" the theologians say he lay aside the beautiful things of God to come here ..
      Jesus didn't see it that way
         he saw it as stepping into beauty
         and revealed the beauty of us "

" the scars made Jesus even more beautiful "

" Jesus lowered himself for us
      but he didn't consider it a sacrifice
         he sees the beauty in us "

" i see you "

`|`

i rest

what a beautiful message .. .

9 lives, remembering, recognition and fullfilling ..

being human ..
if somehow we can get a grip on what that means and who we are and are meant to be .. .

seems to me that must be the pursuit of my life
whatever there is left of it
   as in numbering my days
looking for meaning and purpose and real
and longevity in my finity

what else is there .. ?

everything else is chasing the wind
   rather than letting that powerful Wind move me
seems to me life is radically more, shockingly more than what we're nurtured into by our progenitors and peers and professionals
   and professors in the pulpit ..

`|`

we are living temples of the Creator
.. imagine that .. use your inagination
let it swish around in your mouth as if tasting a vintage wine
inages of the God that brought it all here
descendants of the original images
   formed from the very dirt of the cosmos
      by the very God of the cosmos
   in a very personal intimate fashioning
      embodying the very image and likeness
         of the hands that personally personalized the dirt and dust ..
what a phenomenal imagining

and to dust i shall return
this form transforning again into the present image
   of the Creator Man in heaven
endowed a 'brother' .. a brother !
almost unthinkaable
ineffable
   totally lost for words ..
   no matter the powerful WindSpirit is able to take the ineffable of our mind
      and transform it into meaning
for God knows the mind of the Spirit that knows our mind

and there, RighHanded to God, lives and moves and has his being the Man in whose image we were made

and while i type these words my mind is roiled at its impotence
   in the presence of a Presence it cannot fathom
only encounter
only embrace
only lean full-weighted into
only bless and be blessed

all my presumed meaning becomes futile
lost in the clutter and meaninglessness of the spacedusted flotsam we call life
which is life not
life lost
life confused by pleasure and posture and pretense and prosperity and property and progress-so-called

somehow i have to find that Man
be infused by him
transformed again into His image
be swallowed entirely
refashioned
such that my talk of 'christian' loses significance in the face of true Meaning
and i fall headlong into Love
the same Love that envisioned me when He thoughtfully gathered red dirt and shaped and contoured and imaged and breathed and spoke ..
that Love

`|`

it may well be that i'm on life 9 in cat speak
i lost count
regardless .. whether 9 or 7, it's high time i awoke out of the Earthslumber to intention that drives me to newlife in the Christ person
   the Lord Christ
   the original Son of Human
drowned in His essence
baptized into a resurrection that transports me out of Worldview into Hisview
empowers me to overcome the false human i was raised to be
   encumbered by the utterly false systems of the world in which i live
and to live in, but not of, this worldhome
fully engaged in the heartbeat of God
   for justice and mercy and embrace of all of life
honouring the intention of Creator God for all life to be 'good', fruitful
   in a shared environment of coexistence and maturity
      and fullness and prosperity
         all of it reflecting the God who will soon again be all, in all

to be human is to reflect the True Human who lived and moved and had his being here for a mere 30-something earthyears
to be truly human means reaching for his mind
   the mind of Christ
informing my encumbered self by his spirit
my spirit overcome entirely
submitted entirely
faithfully following
disciple in the moving shadow of Master Jesus
seeking his face
yearning for his filling
so that i am entirely lost in the overpowering aroma of Presence

this is my life 9 vision
were it to be a day or 10 years

i desire to spend it till it is enirely spent
to lose my self daily in the overflowing of his Person
soaking my self in the wonder of him
trying my best to overflow that into the present lifebeing of those i encounter so they too will recognize for themselves the immaculate person of Jesus
recognize in thhemselves their true humanity as exemplifed in the pristine Man
   who is the original Image
   their image
and image that

what else is there .. . .     .

we mistakenly exchanged the faithfullness of faith for ' belief '
some preset set of tenets and policies and facts-so-called
Jesus was faithfull to his God enirely
   even when he doubted

some scholars posit that many of the places where ' faith of Christ ' or ' faith in Christ ' is presently presented in our version of the bible, it should more correctly be rendered ' the faithfulness of Christ '
   a thought that bears serious consideration
   a thought that redirects my assent-christianity towards a faith
   that speaks to allegiance
      reflected in every waking (and hopefully sleeping/unconscious) moment
      remaking my mind (Romans 12.1,2)
      revamping wholsale my life
      retuning my ear and refocusing my eye
      refreshing my heart
      remaking me


`|`

Lord Christ
i want all of you
i believe
help me in my unbelief

worrying and birds and flowers ..

" it would be tragic to think that a flower or bird lives with greater intention than you " ..
Pastor J
go in at Matthew 6:25
come out at 30

`|`

i have this dear christian friend who is consumed with worry ..
it's not that they're much different from most of us, just that the 2 of us communicate regularly and share, so i am aware ..
.. it becomes even more real when you realize that you are a part of the reason for their worry ..
   like, that bites hard - leaves tooth marks all over me ..
      or them ..

`|`

go in at Creator God's care for a hungry bird, imaginative design of a lily
come out at me worrying ..
   about food or clothing, or the number of my days, or my height or weight, or my son or daughter ..

what i'm doing is taking God's position in my life ..
i'm bearing this burden, when God is saying " i got this. i got you. loose it, lean on me " ..
i'm telling God " mmm .. not sure i believe that; i'll hold onto it for now "
= faith
not ..

we talk about faith, a lot
we don't do faith much
..

go in at pagans/unbelievers, who don't have God and worry
come out at me and my Godness, worrying ..
am i not then pagan in my faith ?
do pagans have faith ?
do i ?
..

the truth is that God, who knows what a sparrow needs, and who so gloriously adorned that lilly which surpasses the ultra extravagant Solomon, knows me quite well thank you, and is quite aware of my needs
and while i think i can somehow handle my stuff on my own by worrying over it, as in ' i'm in charge ', there is no one anywhere who is more caring and able to do just that than my God
      agreed ? ..
         eh ? .. . .
if my God is God
if God is God
if i believe in that God
if my faith is faith indeed ..
..
'cause when i worry i deny my faith
worse yet I deny God ..
my faith is counted as nothing
i'm simply playing mind-games, trying to convince myself of something that isn't real, repeating what someone on a soapbox said like it was gospel
   while all the while my faith has no flesh, no muscle, no bite in my life ..
i'm still in control of me

`|`

" in crisis we reach for the thing that's closest to our heart " ( Pas J )
and while we may reach out for God up-front, we quickly use our other hand to grab the liquor, the pill, the shrink, the pastor, the  ..
as if God is at the bottom of that bottle ..
but God can't be bottled
and if ( we'd ) i'd simply reach back I'd feel God's hand
 and find God was there holding me all along, loving me ..

you can't bottle that ..
that's God in love
the God of grace who loves me anyway, all the time, full-on
   regardless of my unbelief
   my worry
   my diss'ing God
because God cannot deny God
God is ever faithful in the Lord Christ ..
always     (2 Timothy 2:13)
get that
..

our Man in heaven who traveled the road we travel as human, blazed the way as a Human for us
and we are presently powerfully represented at the most honorable place of Right Hand of God ..

the faithfulness of the Christ is our rearguard - " i got ya, friend " ..
now, how do I go in there
and come out worrying ..
..

we are not only represented before God by the man Jesus
we are in Christ
in Christ
embraced by him
there
here
now
and nothing anywhere - no power of whatever sort - can override that .. ever
even to death
even in death

`|`

sometimmes we live the lie that says when we worry we are showing we care .. " it's because i care so much "
it's a lie because it is quite contrary to what Jesus says .. period
we fool ourself

`|`

most versions split the text of Matthew 6 at v24, and treat v25 as a different section
like this ..
" Serving Two Masters
24 “No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear." "

i prefer to think the one flows naturally into the other, hence the 'therefore' in v25
like this ..
24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money.
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear."

which ties having/not having money into worry
..

regardless, consider
v 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
well .. ?

Jesus ..
" 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? ..
30 If God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you.
Why do you have so little faith? "

.. why do i have so little faith ? .. .
and there's that nagging issue again, that itch i can't seem to reach ..

worry
      faith, trust
worry
      God
worry
      my best friend and mentor, Master Jesus

" 33 Seek the Kingdom of God and righteousness above all else, and God will give you everything you need. " ..
well then ..
there's that massive promise from the lips of Jesus
there's that ..

" 34 So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own. "
and there's that ..
live today for today
in faith
trusting the God Who is There ..

`|`

it's interesting to note that the greek word used for 'worry' is one rooted in a word meaning ' a part ', as opposed to the whole
one greek expert defines it thus: ' drawn in different directions '
another: ' divided into parts '
' to go to pieces '
[ this observation from a non-greek non-geek .. me ]
..
as to that (which i just discovered), while reading the preceding passage this morning, a verse struck me again, as this verse always does ..
“Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body.
When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light.
But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!"     ( 6:22,23 )
..
along that line, the word for 'healthy' in the verse just quoted is rooted in ' single ', ' sound ', ' perfect ' ..
ye old KJV renders it ' single '
single, as in undivided ..

perhaps worry divides me
such that i am not integrated, not sound
i wonder if that eye, when in worry, has a divisive effect on me as a whole
divides me
splinters me
..

someone said that fear ( worry in disguise ) is taking a future unknown situation, imagining the worst-case scenario, and bringing that into your present, experiencing the possible bad outcome as if it was real ..

`|`

regardless, it should be evident from Jesus' teaching in Matthew 6 that when we worry we express fear and a lack of trust in the God we claim

and then there's apostle Paul ..
" Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. "    ( Philippians 4:6,7 )

and while i picked on my friend for worrying
i have a few questions to ask my self ..

you ? ..

peace to you

great read ..

cogently summarizes NT Wright's philosophy of scripture in a very readable way ..
brilliantly done
highly recommend

https://baptistnews.com/article/can-tom-wright-save-christianity/#.WKxwbm9OnqD

unusual for this blog ..

this 1 hr speech by chris hedges should be required listening in every christian church ..
it is outstanding, given by a seminary-trained speaker

listen here

crosses and what 'christian' really means ..

there's a cross in back of the table

wine in a decanter alongside a simple clay cup

a bread loaf

there's a cross 

and wine and bread

and the thought " all of you share in this, and remember my death " ..

..

it's a strange thing to say really
   remember his death ?
   as if he was dead ..
   why not his resurrection life ?

the whole protestant thing is don't display Jesus hanging on a cross like the catholics do

he isn't there !

that isn't the final story

he is risen !

" remember my death " ..

..

my anglican/episcopal-turned-independent baptist grandmother had a crucifix on the wall behind her bed ..

and, even as a boy, knowing what i knew in my protestant/evangelical/fundamentalism, i always wondered why she never replaced it with a simple cross ..

there aren't many things i remember well, but i think if i tried real hard i could probably sketch a fair representation of that crucifix

..

" if anyone wants to be my disciple and follow me, let them deny self, and take up their own cross; then come, follow .. "

" whoever doesn’t take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. " ( Mt 10.38 )

Luke adds " take up their cross daily " ( Lk 9.23 )

..

there's something radically important about that cross behind the table in the middle of the room where Jesus' followers meet to remember

it represents the place of death

and while, yes, it was the place of his murder, the more pertinent point is that it was the culminating statement of his humility

         and his humanity
   the humiliation of God

      in leaving God and becoming human
and of the supremely awesome form of God's sovereignty
   an authority that refuses to quash all opposition outright
   that manifests itself in what the ol' King James Version calls lovingkindness
   and the greek NT calls 'agape', the sacrificial love of the God who lives forever ..

a sovereignty that extends pierced hands
..

Jesus released his life for the life of the world

gave it over

relinquished his right to life

..

it isn't that he was being morose when he said to remember him in his death as we share the bread and the wine among ourselves ..

it's the unrelenting passion of God that we undertake His passion as seen in the passion ..

an offering-up of self for the rescue of humanity

all humanity
out of the loving heart of Godself

a driving desire to bring all creation into oneness in Christ
a melding of life in which creation inhales and exhales the love of God
in which we humans move and live and be in such agreement, such harmony
   that the interaction of us portrays marvelous congruity of spirit, of sight, of soul

it is a celebration of a strange and wonderful unity that permeates Godhead and humanity
as one

..

so to take Jesus off that cross, while theologically pointed at the victory of God in resurrection, theologically undoes the iconic imaginative reality, where i get to see a representation of human Jesus doing precisely what Jesus pointedly told me to actuate in my life

the death of me ..

and i think that helps me somehow ..

that's the purpose of icons

to enhance the imaginative by leading through visual representations, to help us come to the inner place of God

.. like the anglican/episcopal and roman catholic and lutheran etc. 'seven stations of the cross', where thoughtful worshipers walk past visual representations of Jesus' Passion journey
   it's very sobering
   and i remember disliking very much the feeling of horror and death
   and downright darkness that pervaded the whole eveent
      hated it
but .. imagine Jesus .. .

while we walked away from the catholic and mainline protestant ritualism, we may have lost some very useful spiritual prompts

..

denial

of me

it's radical 

unreasonable 

unrealisitic

impossible ..

and yet there it is ..

Jesus certainly knew what he was saying
he knew 'cross', even before he went there

that leaves me to deal with that, one of the most significant things he said
for it defines 'disciple'
and i want that
..

as for this me
i'm not very good at that
not good at it at all

and yet
there it is

..

i don't get to choose disciple unless i pick up my cross and head down the Via Dolorosa myself
..
it may not end in actual crucifixion
.. and yet it may

that's the far side of the cross-bearing thing, i know
that's my ultimate
but i somehow have to see it as a distinct possibility for me

more likely our cross involves sacrifice of another sort
regardless, the attitude of us must be that ..
my life is your life, Lord
use it as you will
even to death
in death

easier said than done, ya ?
and yet
there it is

" if you really want to be my disciple, you have to deny you, daily take up the instrument of your death .. then come, follow "

..

i have no choice really
if i want to follow Jesus
none

it may be impossible
but then, with God ..

there is repeated failure
there is challenge at every hand
there is black lives and white lives and blue lives
and there is my own family
and what will i do when my very life is threatened
.. when their life is threatened

what do i do ? .. .

i must then stand my cross up, sink it myself into that gaping hole
affix the crosspiece

i can do no other

may God help me
..

one writer puts it this way
" I want to insist .. that the texts about cross-carrying should also be considered more literally - that the cross really refers to crucifixion, execution. Before he says "follow me" Jesus says "take up and carry" - the call is conditioned by our prior acceptance that we bring the instrument of our own execution with us as we live the life of discipleship; the cross becomes the instrument of our execution because we live the life of discipleship. It entails a probably-gruesome death at the hands of the powers. ..
I don't like this conclusion any more than you do .. And I am sure God does not care whether we like it or not. ..
We are called to conform our lives to the gospel. That we are reluctant to do so - reluctant hell - that we doubt that we are even able to consider it a possibility to do so - indicates that there is something wrong. "    
( Robert Brimlow, A Faith Not Worth Fighting For )

..

the straightforward undeniable truth of the matter is that being a christian is, at the heart of it, following Jesus, and following Jesus requires me to give up all rights to my life and turn it over to him in totality, even if it involves death ..

there is no other option
if i want to claim the Lord Christ as master
none

make it so


peace to you

doom and hotcoal ..

so i met with church today
and as i sat there and listened to this often-wise person speak out of and in to Isaiah 6
   about the freakoutish (my word) event
   about Jesus being the live coal that burned away Isaiah's sin
   about how God wants to use Isaiah even though he's guilty as hell
      and he thinks he's upended and doomed ..
.. .     .


i was thinking of this friend i wish was there with me to hear this wisdom
and how even though they don't do church
   they would likely appreciate the realness of what the speaker was speaking
.. .
 .. .. .     .


and then i walked that right back
and thought
   this is for me ..
   so like why are they coming immediately to mind
   when i'm the one
      here am i
      it's me
..

and i repented
and listened again

..

" the incredible thing about turning to Jesus is that nothing in your life is wasted "
      or similar
Jesus uses it all
the broken
the bruised
the ugly
the wickedness
the lying cheating accusing scapegoating lustful hateful spiteful ..
  he redeems it all

..

and there was i
“ It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. "

and then there was this hotburning coal
..