first thoughts on goodbye-ing 2020 ..

 December 27th 2020 

the last days of a fertiley wicked year, thank God! .. 

of course, there's nothing magical about the clock's tock into 00:00:00, January 1, 2021 .. no door will slam shut, no fairy or genie will bless or oblige with a problemless planet Earth life .. 

but the mere psychology of it - the very pertinent fact that we are here to witness the demise of a year that calls for darker hues and frantic strokes rebelliously calls for ardent celebration and fist-pumping, as we squint hopefully into 2021 - the very weakened fist that yet challenges what has been with what could yet be - and is enough to embolden our resolve to defeat the challengers and reaffirm life .. and that's powerful 

I'll think a bit during these late December days of this year, as it waves goodbye, of what it has been - how it has touched and torched, in what ways it crushed, how it ruined, but also the encouragement and resolve it fostered, the bravery to push through, the constancy to look in the looking-glass and confront the exhaustion, and to say "I'm going in again" one more time .. right there's the stuff of humanity, engineered in the mind of God 

of course history is replete with the horrors of humanity,  but we had not yet seen it with our own eyes until this 2020 so blatantly belched it planet-wide, the very potent smell forcing us to cover our face 

it will be a very real challenge to read and watch the rehearsals and rehashings, the retellings of a most painful year for many of us, one that leaves an empty chair at the table .. 

there will be many heavy tears before this year is through

This Gift ..

 while we fawn and fumble and fuss
   with glitzy paper, ribbon and such
this gift lay covered in straw
   inhaling the very earth-scent of dung

this gift had its being and moved and lived
   within the very fleshy womb of a young woman
tabernacled for just the right time
the first Christ-mas

and angels danced
   while trumpets sounded in an unearthy tone
and shepherds
      poor and unimportant
   leapt and raced
   bearing Good News

sages from afar had left their birthright
   to discover
      the treasure hidden in a bosom
            (unable even to mutter an intelligible Word)
   and brought gifts
      for This Gift

who knew   ?
expectant Israel
   yearning for deliverance
   waiting
      breath held in anticipation
   knew
   and recognized This Gift
      presented in their temple
         acknowledged
            human
            Jew
           under Law

and yet This Gift was given
   to all the world
a reminder that the One who created it all
   imbues this our humanity
      with Godself

the greatest gift ever, Mum ..

we're waiting ..

 where are You   ?

God ..   right   ?
God ..             ?

the world runs   
   races
      to madness
drunken surely
taking the whole world with it

where is God   ?
where are You   ?!

You're coming      right?

it's darkening ..
we barely can see

we need You
   now
   now      now

where are You   ?

come !   now !

we're waiting .. .  .   

please come now      ..

i see ..

i can't see very far these days ..

ageing eyes struggle 
   in this dawning night of smoky scenes
      where Lies prop the street corners
         in their sequined highheels
      and no one
         absolutely no one
      is promised tomorrow
         in this land of sneak and pickpockets
         and street-corner preachers
            with me-holes in their jeans 

neon-ed promises
   whistle at the weary ..
spots darken the tarmac
   where one of us got caught
      too long staring at the loud headlight
         horn screaming 

it's just too BloodyMary much for my life's eyes
have to retreat
shutter the myopic windows for a bit
rest from the mad-inducing assault of Animus
   Ares and Mars in tow 

.. .

just there ..
   the smoke clears
   the discordant cacophony stilled ..

clarity

smiling eyes welcome
   the pleasant sight of a Lamb
      clothed in Light
      holding Shalom
         while lightbearers dance in circles
            around the Tree of Life

..

i
see
You

all because of Christ ..

When God decided to share Godself, to overflow into others, the Godhead selected one of Themselves in particular to Christ the happening of it .. 

Word, Expression of God, undertook the Human Expression and everything connected with it ..

and the human being became a living soul, imaged in the likeness of Elohim God, Christed with authority over Creation, to care for it in honor of its Creator, and to reproduce Images of God, filling the good Earth with goodness, reflecting the nature of Creator God for all to see - all the Authorities and Powers and Rulers in the cosmos will witness the goodness of God in the Christed creation. 

When the created Images of God rejected the authority of the God in whose likeness they were imaged, the Word expressed and took on flesh, leaving behind the form of God.   The one who existed before the creation and by whom everything was created - the things visible as well as the invisible Thrones and Rulerships and Kingdoms and Authorities in the worlds unseen - took human form as the ultimate visible expression of God to humanity, to reorient the Christed humanity to God and reconcile their injured relationship.   

Through the deathblood of this humanized Christ. we are ushered into God's presence holy, blameless, standing without fault before God in Christ.   This is an unfathomable and perplexing mystery that calls forth our faith, trusting that the same person who created us also redeemed us, this Christ, and claims us as God's own possession, God's inheritance, in Christ, sons and daughters in good standing.

The very one by whom creation exists and continues to exist instantiates as very Human, and stands-in before God for all humanity, to be, one good day, recognized universally as the God in whom all humanity is embraced and included, one with the Father through the Son of Man .. one with God in Christ .. 

.. and our home will be God's home, and we will each be perfected Images of the Living God, Expressing God's goodness throughout God's good creation, and God will be all in all .. 

all because of Christ ..

in Christ ..

praise God
   who blesses us
      in Christ
    with every spiritual blessing available in Heaven

from the very beginning the Father decided that humanity
   would be included in Christ
      as an expression of the Christ
His own
pure before His face
His love

He accomplished this intention through His predisposition of
   adoption into His family as children
and this gave Him very much pleasure

and the sheer graciousness of this giving through His Beloved
   speaks powerfully to the praise of His glory

it is through Christ that our release is secured
   and our fallings forgiven
through His abundant grace poured out in the human blood of him

God has let us know of this mystery
   concerning His delightful desire for us -
that it would be through Christ that His intention for us
   would be fulfilled in the fulness of time
that everything in the created universe
   would be consolidated in Christ
      in whom we also have been made a heritage
         his inheritance
      predisposed in accord with the unravelling of God's intention

.. .
that is a restatement of the opening verses of Paul's writing to the Ephesian church

              

Christ is the instrumentality and the instantiation of our spiritual flourishing 

it is because of Christ, and through Christ, that we are able to thrive in this fallen world system, which falls under the influence of the Archon of the ethereal authority (2:2), to be overcomers (Romans 8:37)

all that we are is by Christ - our very existence and the original environment we occupy are all a product of the Expression/Word of God, the Christ, who brought it all into being .. and beautifully done too ..

this Expression of God as Son - Son of God, Son of Human - is the Person of the Godhead tasked with the Human Expression, the loving sharing of Godself with a being designed to be like God - as they imaged God, being images of God - and who, in Person, expressed the likeness of God in the human form

it is to this One we owe everything, not only our existence (in his image to boot), but also our continued existence, even after our breach of trust, the denial of our Creator 

he takes upon himself Redemption, the Rescue from the wicked and perverse powers that wage war against humanity and it's God (6:12) ..
further, this one is our Hope, for in him we witness the fulfillment of the original intent of Creator God for the created human

the Christ has gone before us, as us, having participated in the depths of us, and arrived in eternity as the matured, complete, full human expression of the GodImage .. so that when we look at Christ Jesus we see us in wholeness, fully formed, accomplished according to the blueprint of God in creation - that blueprint is the GodWord, Creator himself

this was God's intent all along – that we be consummated in the Christ ..
the Christ is our imaged intention, our divine pattern, the human standard, and the measure according to which our humanity is fulfilled (4:13) .. 
humanity perfected

everything that i am and strive for is wrapped in the person of Jesus, and as the Christ, he has included me .. me
how do i unfold that ?
how is there a place for me in the space inhabited by Christ ?
does God not care who i am ?
does God not know who i am ?
surely ..

and so i am left with what exactly ?

i am left with the virtually unbelievable thought that God does indeed love me
and has accorded me standing through Christ
and not just standing, but affiliation as child
   as if i was His own flesh and blood ..

..

that, my friend, is a God i can serve wholeheartedly

sanitized insanity .. .

 how you doing ?

    'nother day in paradise
        (aaaaaaghhhhh.. .)

    i'm fine ..
        (rrrrghhhh..)

    good
        (. .. . .... .)

    (aaaaahhhhh!!!!)

..

walking 
    confusion
conversing
    hurt
working
    turmoil
eating
    lostness
        misty
        wet
        cloudy
        muddy
        blustery
            lostness ..
    headbanging migraining loudness
    catapulting my soul
        into that wall
            again and again

hi

    hi
        (aaaaaghhhh !)

    blah blah blah
    mumble mumble
        hum hum
            ho hum
                hum drum
                    hoho
    mumble bumble jumble
        jumble

hi

    .. .
    ..
        (arghhh!! ..)

how're you ?

    .. i'm     good
        ( .. )
    ..
        .. .
            ..
                i'm good ..

majesty ..

O sovereign Lord
   my Lord
Your majesty floods the Earth
   up to the heavens !

         ~ selah

children, the little ones
   sing out your praise
Your foes hear
   and stumble into silence

         ~ selah

i look up
   the moon      the stars
and i wonder ..

   what is human .. ?
   we are but mortal
      and yet
         You look out for us
         You care

         ~ selah

we are set below the Elohim
      and yet
         You surround us with glory
             honouring us
         You give us authority - we Your hands to rule
          all things set under our feet - the creatures that run,
             the flyers, those that swim ..

         ~ selah

O the majesty of You
   Lord YaHWeH ..

               O the majesty of You

                                   psalm 8

chasing glory ? ..

 It's been said, often, that the point of God's creative activity is that God gets glory

("In general, Scripture teaches that God created the world and all that is in it for His own glory.." Bible.org, first response on internet search.)

Unless we reform the meaning of the word 'glory', a common understanding of that would be that God created so that creation would worship, honor, obey, etc. In other words, God was looking for exaltation. 

But does God really need to be gloried? Does God need creation to be bowing and scraping before him? Is this the Biblical God, chasing glory? ..

..

Perhaps Elohim God looked to extend Godlove. 
Perhaps Elohim God wanted to share God's inherent beauty and unified community with other beings inclusively, invitingly, welcomingly, embracingly, not out of a desire for personal gratification, but because love is inherently an overflowing, a touching other.

Obviously they would not be God-equals, since created, but they would mirror God, receive and radiate the love of God into the cosmos, be transceivers of God's goodness, filling the cosmos with light, and goodness, and beauty, and truth grounded in Divine integrity, one massive organism, unified in being, understanding and purpose, all telling the Telling of this magnanimous Creator and sharing the love so obviously present ..
   and there, right there, God gets the glory
   not by dictating glory, but as a natural
      consequence of the magnificence of
      the God Who Is There.

The God that is there, the Living God, does not need accolade.
The Jehovah God that is Elohim only looks to share the love
   because God is love.

pray ..

part of the consequence of prayer is to remind myself ..         

life does not merely consist in what i can touch 

and see and smell 

   but includes a mysterious spiriting 

      energetic consciousness 

         that either warms to unity and love 

         or agitates violently to shatter and disengage 

yes       i am human traveling
   i am being being
and there are things i require in my travels
   some of which i am unable to furnish 
      so i ask the Divine i trust 

but   and   yes 
part of the more is   
   my presence in the travel is not merely a present-ing   
      it is a heading   
         a positioning   
         a navigating to 

prayer sees through my today   
   past lunch   
   into a future inspired by the Light by whom i see life     
it reminds me of my presence to purpose 

      ' in your light we see light '   (Ps 36:9)

disciple ing ..

sunday ..

i really wish i was assembling with family and friends 

i have been abundantly blessed in my family here 

i feel (and I'm gradually convinced) like i belong .. 

(the gradual thing is my own hesitation at believing people really care about me - i suck it up like baby on mother's milk      it gives me life      i try not to take too much notice of myself, but the affirmation is nothing short of energizing      it's just hard to believe that the church that Jesus built actually exists in such a vivid form - i thought, surely it is not found in purity today, having lost its savor through the centuries to political and powerful and private ambition of its leadership ..) .. 

we all belong, i think      we've just lost our way .. we've become deluded and disillusioned      we have outgrown our innocence, our innate identity, way too fast, and create substitutes to hide our fear at being lost      we do not know who we are, or what our purpose in this life 

i have fallen into Grace in these recent years, and am able to admit to value in me, worth, having been found in favor with GodFather      not that he recently came to that position   simply put, i recently discovered it for myself, and surely the same holds true for all humanity   we are just lost to it, as i said 

tragedy 

so then      Jesus ..      

to re-member us, remind us of our identity - icons, images and likenesses of the living God ..      

him walking with us to be seen as humanity-in-its-fullness, learning to be human, and then unfolding his arms to embrace his humanity - us 

it's okay       

we are lost      but there's this Shepherd who will search us out, even the one

maybe especially the one

and we/i, who have seen the scales fall from our eyes and been un-blinded from our lostness, have the privilege of touching the blind around us, in complete harmony with their disillusionment      for i was blind once

and the things i say      and the things i do      and the way i live in this now      and the thing i allow myself to behold with my eye and ear       all color-in a canvas for my community of Earthpeople to behold for themselves      and speak louder-than-words to the humanity i now embrace in Jesus, Son of Human 

perhaps some of that will spark re-cognition in one, or three      and they will reach out to touch, to see for themselves what is this light, this indescribable aura of integrity, of truth, of peace, of true humanity       unfiltered 

perhaps that is the flavor of 'discipleship'      

the taste of Jesus in the face of another human

the aroma of genuine humanity-to-the-bone as witnessed in the Jesus whose spirit is jealous for me      

      as for you

peace to you

my Me-room ..

sometimes
    outstepping my transformation
i lie
   mostly to      Me
..

i walk by it      because this ..
in this particular room in my Mehouse
   Lies have adorned the walls for so long ..   
      i can hardly imagine this space without them
            familiar
            comfortable
            security-Lies
               of all the colours that suit the palette of this Meroom
..
sometimes
   which is far more often than i care to admit to you
      ( or You )
i go there to escape my new Me      transformed Me
         Me In Process
to walk away from the Me that just walked around the corner
   headed in my direction
!
dash !
left !      LEFT !
close the door!   quick!
..
knock knock      knock knock knock ..
shhhhhh .. don't open it ..
..
..

i slip into something comfortable
and gaze
   out of the periphery of my gaze
at the art i'd made
   to cover these walls
      obliterate the image s
      drown the sound s
      mask the scar s
         of me ..
                            no shiny surfaces
                               darkened
                               dimmed
                                  repressed

.. and i slowly ease Me into the Easychair
lost
   at last
   just for a bit ..
      rest ..
.
 .
  .   while the i that i am
         is shut out

      .. and now the acid rises in my esophagus
            and wet hot runs lines down my face
               eyes burn
            in this dingy dim
                  of my Meroom
   ..
.
.
i hate this place ..
   ..
i hate the smell of it
i hate the taste of it
i hate the dark
   the colours
   the sketches
   the faces
   the writing on the walls
   the clammy sticky chair
      that reaches out to grab my wrists and ankles
..
i hate it ..
i hate it ..
..
the blood rises in my face
   hot
as my pulse runs ..
teeth bite down hard
neck veins engorge
muscles strain
   to loose me from this madness
      in my entangling
      imprisoning
         Meroom      where my Lies still live
                             in all their grim awful
                                Dark Dread
                             in all their fearfulling ..
i hate it !
..
.
the sweat drenches in my escape
footprints paint the cold floor
..  more art in honour of
       my Lie s
..
wet fingers can barely turn the knob         curse !
   to get out !!
..
the door slowly moves
   heavy
   resisting me ..
it's steamy sick breath vomiting at my efforts
..
hard to breathe ..
..
arghh
..
out !!      out ..
..
      ..
   .
a cooling Wind anoints
   balming
   immersing
   floating
   weightless
      calming
      into Rest
      relief
         Rescue
..
      ..
one day
   soon         soon
i'm taking Me by the hand
   into that Meroom
      with spotlights
         and a whole new palette
and we'll refurbish ..
      there'll be flowers everywhere !
         the sounds of musics
                and a cooling Wind ..

.. make it so

the spirit is willing, but the flesh ..

Genesis 15   1 Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” 

But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.”

4 Then the Lord said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” 

And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.

7 Then the Lord told him, “I am the Lord who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land as your possession.”

8 But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, how can I be sure that I will actually possess it?”

9 The Lord told him, “Bring me a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon.” 

10 So Abram presented all these to him and killed them. Then he cut each animal down the middle and laid the halves side by side; he did not, however, cut the birds in half. Some vultures swooped down to eat the carcasses, but Abram chased them away. As the sun was going down, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a terrifying darkness came down over him. 

13 Then the Lord said to Abram, “You can be sure that your descendants will be strangers in a foreign land, where they will be oppressed as slaves for 400 years. But I will punish the nation that enslaves them, and in the end they will come away with great wealth. (As for you, you will die in peace and be buried at a ripe old age.) After four generations your descendants will return here to this land, for the sins of the Amorites do not yet warrant their destruction.”

After the sun went down and darkness fell, Abram saw a smoking firepot and a flaming torch pass between the halves of the carcasses. So the Lord made a covenant with Abram that day and said, “I have given this land to your descendants, all the way from the border of Egypt[a] to the great Euphrates River— the land now occupied by the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites, and Jebusites.”

..

sometimes      God promises ..

Abram believed what God said

   God considers that to be proof of Abram's allegiance

Abram asks God for assurance

   God asks Abram for sacrifice

Abram prepares the sacrifice

   vultures congregate to degrade it

   Abram protects the sacrifice until God is ready ..

      even though God calls for the sacrifice and 

      Abram obeys, God is not ready

Abram gets tired waiting on God and sleeps

   (recall the disciples in Gethsemane)

   darkness and terror      nightmare

      perhaps Abram doubts God now

         (he believed at the first.. perhaps God is now 

         testing his belief that he asked God to confirm)

      perhaps he thinks God has left him alone

the threat from without - vultures

the threat from within - terrifying darkness

God shows up in person

   with a smoking firepot and a burning torch

      to consume the sacrifice

      to consummate the agreement God made

         with Godself through Abraham 

            for humanity ..

God makes a covenant and assumes full 

   responsibility for both parties      

      so we would know with absolute 

         assurance that the Blessing is for us ..

God signed the contract as Party 1 and Party 2

..

thought ..

when God promises me something

   and i accept that as a promise from God

then there will be external attacks (vultures) 

and attacks from within (nightmares)

waiting is challenging ..

we must protect the promise from vultures

and we must be careful to trust when we get tired

   

we persevere

   because God is faithful

God will show up

   and vindicate the promise

i can trust God

lean on that ..

amen

skin deep ..

this is really very taxing

think 'toll' ..

there's a price to pay

   watching the brutality of our humanity on our humanity

   the violence

   the fear explode

   the lies manifest

.. 

the lie

did God really   ?

did God really create   ?

   you   ?

      in the very image of Godself   ?

         to be like God   ?

did God really

   take that image

      to be one of us   ?

does God really

   have hands and feet   ?

   and skin   ?

what colour skin   ?

does that question bother me   ?

finding You ..

how can i find You

if i  don't follow the rules

   ?

   concrete

   budge-less

   so-very-well-defined

   inflexible

   bounden

   tight

      all the things that suck freedom from my bones

         leave me mindless

         heartless

         soulless

         automaton

         un-Me ..

..

un-Me

constructed of rules laws expectations

don't blink

don't think

don't 

   ..

how can i find You

if i follow rules

   ?

You

   Wind with no direction

      from or to

   Spirit with nothing

      to grab on to

   Word spoken

   Grace given

   Love Expressed

      freely

      boundless

      eternal

      unlimited

         You ..

.. swallow me whole

skin for skin ..

skin for skin

trade ya

see the difference for myself

'cause i suspect

living in your skin 

would denude my world

then maybe

skin deep

would take on a new colour

   black 

      would explode my spectrum

humbling arrogance ..

who are you to question my wisdom in your ignorance   ?

prepare yourself .. 

I have some questions for you to answer ..

where were you when I envisioned the Earth   ?

tell me, which architect designed it, and who was its surveyor   ?

on what was it founded   ?

who set the keystone in place 

   while the stars looked on and the angels cheered   ?

who restrained the oceans when they burst the matrix   ? 

   who wrapped them in billowing clouds

      and clothed them in the darkness   ?

   who cradled their movements   ? 

have you ever called forth the morning 

   given rise to the dawn 

      that tells the night to leave 

         and to take the violent wickedness that hides in its darkness along with it   ?

did you ever locate the source of the sea 

   have you dived to its deepest point   ?

have you faced Death 

   stood in the portal of the Shadow of Death   ?

could you spread your arms to embrace the girth of the Earth   ?

can you tell me - when the light emerges, where does the darkness go   ?

do you know their addresses   ?

   but of course you do   ! 

   you were there before their creation and you know all this already, I'm sure .. 

..

have you looked into the quarries where snow and hail are mined   ? 

where should I go to discover the home of light   ?

in which location should I look to find where the east wind lives   ?

who dug valleys for the downpours 

and who laid out a flight path for the lightning   ?

who redirects the showers to fall on dry ground and encourages the grass   ?

who gives birth to the rain   ?

who is the mother of hail and ice and freezing water   ?

is it you that tells the stars which road to take 

   and who to travel with   ?

do you organize their families or tell them where to live   ?

 

did you order the universe or design the Earth   ?

is it your voice that breaks the clouds for rain and sparks light to fly across the sky   ?

tell me, how does your heart speak and why does your mind reason   ?

can you count the clouds   ?

can you make it rain when there is no water and the land turns to dust   ?

do you know where to find food for the pup and the cub and the crow's children when they cry out to God from an empty belly   ?

do you   ?

can you   ?

who   ?

where   ?

how long   ?

how far   ?

when   ?

how   ?         ..

tell me then

   you who challenge my ways

      and know my thoughts

   you who calls me to account

.. answer me

   if you can  .. .

                                              a muse on Job 38

you can't tell just by looking ..

you can't tell
   just by looking
   or listening
not much has changed
   on the face of it

   from a surface view

but a killer moves yet
snaking very long fingers across the compass
leaving 6-foot Holes all along the way
   like footprints
hellish portals       almost

and planet Earth totters       slightly
drunken       like
   on the blood of the Holes
as Sheol opens her rapacious jaws ..
   insatiable beast

you can't tell like that
but       there are spaces
   Holes in the air
      where our neighbour stood       just yesterday
..

and we want numbers

people reduced to math
Images digitized
trends
and death trails
rates
and percentages
and graphs ..
..


that hawk soars
silhouette against the darkening skydrop
welcome prop for a life that seems diminished
diminishing       somehow

soar bird       soar!
remind me that my view
   is but a view
that life has met the terrors of evil before
   and limped away to live another day

and too .. even if we perish
   at the bloodied hands of this Serpent-With-Many-Crowns
we will stretch our life out
   through
   into
      life in another form
         renewed
         refreshed
         re-energized
            by the One who will one day vanquish this beast
               along with every other beast ever       ever
and we will all walk together
   in new Life
   at peace with our world
   our planet at peace with us
      now released from the frustration of decay
            freed!
               in the wake of the glory of all God's children
..

you can't tell just by looking
but the Life that gives life gives life
and there is life
and there will be life
and all will be well
and God will be all
   in all

amen

safe in the arms ..

safe in the arms of Jesus
safe inside these walls
safe from the world's diseases
lock out their woeful calls

I'm ok I'm ok I'm ok
safe inside my walls
they can't get in to where I am
sanitized, and I got Jesus

got my fam, I'm  okay
got my friends I'm ok
served food to the poor
donated too .. I am good, I'm ok
..

this one person came up to me
dirty, so unclean
held out a hand, cut in the palm
gave him 5 to see him leave
   (he looked familiar somehow) ..
..

read my Bible e'er day
say prayers to God above
have pics of Jesus, blonded hair
tithe so people know I love
..

people need to get saved !
John 3:16 and all
better do it now 'fore it's too late
get caught-up when that trumpet calls !

nothing can't touch me now
safe in Jesus' arms
drive by those heathen e'er day
druggies and hoes fo sho
..

I live my life by the ten commands
thou shalt and thou shalt not
jump up and worship, raise my hands
holy spirit I'm sure I got

safe in the arms of Jesus
dem infected heathen sinners
   goin' to hell !
don't know why they won't join us
guess they're just too
   blind to tell ..

pic's on social media
serving them poor-poor
use lots of sanitizer
so I don't get no sores

safe in the arms
thank you Jesus !

pivot of the ages ..

who hangs there naked in shame      ?

what wickedness has he done      ?
what violence
what evil
?

who has he injured      ?
who has he murdered
who has he raped
what has he stolen
what bond did he break
?

was it you he assaulted      ?
your mother that he killed
your brother that he murdered
your sister that he raped
?

did he take your stuff as if it was his own      ?
did he lie to deceive
remove you from your throne
?

when did you discover you needed his life gone   ?
displayed in death
   humiliated
   torn ..
?
..


wait .. it wasn't you   ?
then who   ?
who
?

who found him in the temple   ?
   disrupting business as usual
who hated him for saying
   we were doing it all wrong
who is it the people honor with palms
   not knowing what they do
who is it that ran away
   and left him for the high priest's crew
who was it that crowed to the sunrise
   pretending him they never knew
?

who left him all alone      who left him all alone
   all alone
o   o      o
..

but the women knew       the women knew

or even if they didn't know they stood by him with him for him
holding him in their heart
their mind twisted in anguish
   as they regard his twisted form
      through swollen eyes

that this one       this one
   could die so       could die so
o      O      ooo
..


and now he waits in Hades Halls
talking with departed souls
and tomorrow the harrow
the blessed harrowing of hell
..

praise be to God who makes all things new
through this one
this triumphant human      Jesus      the Christ

blessed be his name
..

the cock will crow tomorrow morn
   welcoming the sun to a brand new age
   as the Son of Man walks out the tomb resplendent
      in his new body
         never before worn
            by anyone
            anywhere
            ever

and Mary waits
she can't let go       she can't let go     
she can't believe he's gone ..
o      Oooo      ooo

but soon she will know him again ..

that voice       that voice
same voice that spoke the universe into being
   will call her name in love

Hope has arrived in person
and we cannot deny it
..

and all creation waits
oo oo oo ..
   to be released from corruption
      into the glorious freedom of God's children


and the Son of Man waits
he can't let go      he can't let go
he won't let go      he won't let go
O! O! O!

' good ' friday ..

i never could understand why 'Good' friday ..
and i refuse to look it up today ..
..


the Cross
   is the interruption of the world as we know it
   a sinking vessel sailing to a hellish end
      piloted by blind WealthPower
         gritting his teeth
   with barely an occasional glimmer of Hope
      pronounced by crazed prophets
         in the name of This or That god
         the promise by some of a Messiah
..


but       the Cross ..

still two thousand years later we barely nod in Its direction
   as we fashion new cut flowers into Arrangements For Easter
   and shop for colored eggs and sweet rabbits
      to assuage our galled belly ..


we somehow feel it in the gut
   deep it lies within us
as we dare skip past it ..
how could we    ?
..

there is a cross deep within each of us
   and Christ tells us " take it up "
don't deny It ..
deny me
follow him
..

what is the Cross    ?
a place    ?
an event   ?
or is It the heart of God from eternity to eternity infinite
where love is found
..

It is the heart of God
It resides within me
i must take It up
deny my Selfish Self
and follow a path laid out by Christ
   emblazoned on history's canvas one dreadful day in time
   witnessed in blood that ran from Jesus' body

the compassion that dripped from the rough-hewn wood
   ran blood-red in color
      the blood-red color of the heart of the God whose heart
         shattered at every biting crash of the hammer
         as They watched him be nailed to a tree - his pain
         Their pain - like some sign
            some announcement
            some declaration
            some violent angry statement of a lost confused humanity
               anxious for a scapegoat on which to hang their guilt
               their bloodlust dripping from mouth-watering anticipation
                  of crucifying themselves
                     vicarious suicide, this


         Grace and Truth is murdered
..

there is an interval i must inhabit
   to remind me of who i am
      where i came from
      where i'm heading ..
if i don't remember i'll forget

it is what defines me

i don't live here
i'm from here

Good Friday to you

this day ..

loud shrill repeated over and over and ..

in this most pleasant sitting

a touching wind
a dancing shadow of light
an underrated presenting of tender colors
   offering the seeer such pleasure
a broad cover of new verdance in every shade
   shading

who taught the Mocker to sing the songs of a thousand
   and no song to claim as its own

where are the new silver gray kittens hidden


the dogwoods blush white and paled red

the clouds left for new playgrounds
..


all the while
   stretching from the Netherworld
a vicious evil
   named
   but unpronounced
strikes
   at life
      lungs g-r-asp for air
      hearts constrict in fear
         even the pompous raising their glasses to the rollicking loud
            admit their frightened soul

what to do

where to run

how to kill it 'fore it kills me
..


strange (?) how life drops to the lowest common denominator
   so readily
once the fluff is blown away
and we are forced       have to    admit
   that my privilege is useless

the Red Devil craves the taste of my blood as much as the other
..


and the blossoms bloom
as the hatchlings open their eyes
   to life
      in all its delight
serenaded by the glorious calls of a thousand welcomers
   to life
..


so we refuse to pronounce the name of This Death

let it die in ignominy
   in anonymy

while the wildflowers stretch their resplendent petals to the light
and mother cat preens
 
      smiling all the while

a kingdom city ..

a city whose walls are falling in
whose bulwarks serve no purpose
   any longer

a deserted home of carrion birds

but there are to be found there   
   evidences of your images
tucked away in holes in deserted rooms
propped up against ruined walls
dusted
weathered
worn
discolored

the habitat of moss
naked to the sky
the bright blue sky where the hawk lives   
   borne aloft by the winds of promise
   the beauty of lofty flight in its wings
crying for companionship   
   for fellowship
      an echoed word
   a gentle breeze
   a place to land

someone saw the landscape 
   and the towering smokestacks and the broken walls
   and the gliding hawk and frightening vulture
   the worn staircase
   the chimney cluttered with coaldust a century-old   
   the blued glass above the empty window ..

and in their eye glimmered a promise of space renewed
home of the weary
with lights on
green vegetables
and artists-wrought wood and canvas and clay
the smell of freshly baked bread
the sidewalk coloured with this morning's cut flowers
the sound of children frolicking on the grass
the melody of music wafting its way in and out among the vendored wares
   flavoured with the taste of fresh-brewed java

a promise of New Life

the laughter of weightlessness
the banter of camaraderie
hopscotch into the blue sky


and the vision ran like a deep blue river flowing 
   through the grasses and the trees 
   and the walls
and the animals drink from it's banks
and all the people lapped it's waters and found within them wells   
   springing up into life..
New Life

and life gave birth to life

and the Life smiled
   that Life that was the Light of all peoples everywhere      
      for all time

Thy kingdom come .. .

social distancing ? ..

gates
doors
walls
wire
      they serve to separate

religion
politics
race
economics
nationality
      can serve to divide
..

perhaps if not the primary issue, one of the main issues with apostle paul
   was unity
one Body
one mind
one intention
one love
one in Christ

we are called to live with the motivation of elevating others over our own selves
   to consider others before ..
      " Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others
      as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but
      take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude
      that Christ Jesus had. "      (Paul at Philp 2 3-5)

this calling seems ridiculous
it makes no sense
   Jesus washed their feet
      and demonstrated serving each other ..
           
      ridiculous

..

we are in the very midst of a challenge to be distant
   to create a border
   to shield ourselves
   to stand apart
..
while the Lover of our souls calls us to share
   to reach each other in love
   to move towards
   to walk into
   to deliver our bodies into his care
   to be the salt and bring the light

regard for our neighbours stands as the outstanding commandment
along with loving our God

so then      in this time of walking away and standing back and turning to the left and the right
let us instead cross the street
   bind the wounds of the wounded
   feed the hungry
   clothe the naked
   offer relief to the poor
      friendship to the disengaged and the distanced
      encouragement to the downhearted
      hope to the defeated
      promise to those that live in the dark
         knowing that our God is solid good to keep promises
            .. wait for it

for when we look to God for help
God is looking directly back at us in expectation
   that we be the ear that hears the call
      the hands that give help
      the mouth that speaks encouraging truth
      the feet that walk towards the hurting
      the heart that burns for their neighbour's wellbeing
..

sometimes we worry that people will not see God and know Jesus unless we challenge them from the scriptures
but the Presence of our God is in us and speaks boldly through our loving intentional movement towards others
   perhaps moreso than our preaching
      perhaps      sometimes the letter kills while the spirit brings life
let us then not grow weary in doing good

" share each other's burdens and in this way fulfill the law of Christ
if you think yourself too important for that you're deceiving yourself
   test yourself and see      you stand responsible to yourself in it ..
..
we sow what we reap 
   so then, let's not tire of doing the good
      we will see a harvest in good time ..
whenever we have opportunity to do good, do good! to everyone!
   particularly those in our own Faithcommunity "      (as per Paul)

what better opportunity to demonstrate the love of God in Jesus
   than now
   right now
find a way to be used
one person is not too few
one person is enough
be the one person

may the love of our God
and the grace of Jesus, our Lord Christ
and the intimate embrace of our holy spirit of God
be ours
as we move forward
   with
into this unknown
   hand in hand

peace to you

Your virus ..

Lord Christ
to whom every knee will soon bend    in love
to whom every tongue will readily confess you as Lord in their native voice

teach us to ..       wait, you did ..
help us to have your attitude of unity    in love
to be moved to treat others better than we treat ourselves

may we carry in the forefront of our heart's mind your move towards us
   by emptying yourself
      taking the form of a slave and becoming flesh
   humbling yourself
      even to the place of death
         even to the place of cross-death
            for us

may we too look for ways to empty ourselves in the direction of others    in love

help me then
to be watchful
to discern
to listen for your voice
to be wanting always to obey
to move    recognizing your ever-present presence
to reach out
to welcome
to touch
to embrace

to encourage
to come alongside
to compassion
to heal
to speak loving-kindness
to challenge wicked intention
to stand against injustice
to stand for righteousness
to walk with       through

You as my strength
my energy
my presence
my intention
my motivation
my vision
my eyes
my ears
my tongue
my feet
my hands
my heart
my mind
my resource
my source

to be used
for reconciliation
for peace
for provision
for light
for goodness
for relief
for comfort
for encouragement
for unity

as a basin
as a weathervane
as a recliner
as a peaceful space
as a loaf of bread
as a pleasing aroma
as a rock
as a rainbow
as a stroll along a wooded path
as a fragrant flower in full bloom
as a walk on the water
as a healing touch
as a pleasant memory
as a ray of sunshine
as a mouthful of cool water
as a shade tree
as a bed of thick grass
as a sky of shape-shifting clouds
as a bird call
as a sign of your promises and your power to carry them out
as a touchstone for your faithfulness in every kind of trial
as a river for immersion into a pure heart
as a reminder of your unsurpassable and indescribable and
   unfathomable love    vulnerably displayed on the cross
as a path leading Your Way
as a window open to new life
as a fresh breeze of your spirit as you come and go in ways we may yet learn
   always flavored with love

wash my heart's hands
sanitize the mind of me
distance me from evil
create a space between me and
   violence
   judgmentalism
   blame
   estrangement
   manipulation
   chaos
   hurtful words
   abuse
   anger
   hatred
   prejudice
   idolatry

renew my spirit
refresh my soul
   as I look ardently for you in the face of that one and this one
   and her and him

open my heart's arms to embrace the You i see in them
   the me I see in them
   the them I see in me
   You

move me out of private space into their space
including them
   in my time
   in my focus
   in my energy
   in my praying
   in my living
      and my moving
      and my having my being

may I be your virus
   infecting people everywhere with your love
   passing on kindness
      and gentleness
      and gratitude
      and joy
      and mercy
      and peace
      and patience
      and trust
      and hope
         gracefullly
            your love rising in them like sap in its season
            producing verdant foliage and every kind of good fruit

and may the whole world be overfilled with the presence of You, filling everything everywhere with your goodness through the grace of our Lord Christ, Jesus

we appeal to You through him the Frontrunner and Fullfiller of our faith

i saw God today ..

i saw God today
she was walking upstreet with a bag of donated food
   and now God could eat

i saw God sitting on a step in the sun
talking

and as God ate God told the dreadful story of being cheated out of the place They had paid for
and now the lights were off and the water stopped running
and God was looking for a bathroom before walking back
to wherever she would go

" do you know where i can find a bathroom?
they'll arrest me for exposure if i go in a public place, you know "  ..
..

i saw God limping today
her face twisted painfully with each right-step
a sick-looking bruise bleeding ugly pus above her knee where she fell in the road
heading for ER right after the food bag
limping ..
and God gave her a walking stick he found God-only-knows-where

" is there anything besides this?
i don't eat pork
   for religious reasons, you understaand "
      God said
and someone witfully posed " are you a Jew then ? "
   ducking artfully in pretense against his
   jabbing muslim glance
..


i wonder what God thought about our venture into the street today
bags of bbq and chips
squatting on the steps of the lawoffice
discussing viruses and God and the madness to come

as God vociferously swore at his unseen attacker
   walking violently upstreet
   swinging his arms in anger

and a couple walk up smiling thanks for the bag
shaking hands in rebellion
smiling
and promising to come again
..

i saw God carry a box of leftover goodies across the street for suppertime when God would eat at Sally's place
.. poor Sally .. she's tired, but she's going strong
      rebel in the face of despair
.. and God smiles, and pulls up a weary chair

i saw God give his bbq sandwich to another homeless person
   'cause she didn't want to leave her stuff
   to go get her own ..

i saw God mumbling to herself as she walked down the street
pulling her cart full of her life for today
   almost as if there was hope for
   tomorrow ..
   .. almost

.. God was everywhere today
         right in the mix
feeding
   and being fed
talking
   and being spoken to
listening
   and hearing
offering
   and accepting
hurting
   and blessing
tired and dirty and mostly lost at the menacing madness everywhere


perhaps i'll see God again tomorrow ..

i think i'd like that