forgetting, and the cramps ..

it's been a while
besides being sick, i've felt the loss of my self .. i'm over there, somewhere
both body and soul languishing, me wondering about life, peeping around corners to catch a sight of me
..

then there was politics ..
astonishingly there was someone in the running who wasn't cut from the established cloth, someone who dared to call-out the reigning powers, looking them dead in the eye, unafraid - that's rare ..
and, more impactful, someone who cares for the lessers in society - you know, the ones that are snubbed and scoffed for being poor or homeless, or can't afford health care or an education .. like that

i fell-in .. for the first time ever i was sold-out, especially considering the alternatives, on both sides .. every other person on the redandblue carpet reminds me of why i never involved myself in the political scene .. a total waste of time, in my truncated view, my naive outlook
..
as a christian, i'd crystallized the fundamentalist concept of staying out - deal with the spiritual side of life and leave the social to the people 'of the world' ..
that changed over recent years, as i admitted the good in christians standing with the abused - MLK and those that walked with him serve as one outstanding example - and saw people in my new circles participate

so when i finally found somebody espousing the embrace of humanity as a whole, i leapt
..
that person is seen as a wildcard, an outsider .. they don't fit america's idea of american-norm
and that's fine by me - neither am i
..

however .. over the last few days something has been aching in my spirit-gut
i couldn't identify the parasite, but it was an occasional sharp pain accompanied by bloating ..

and then i read stuff about some of the candidates for unarguably the most powerful office in the richest and most powerful country on the planet .. ever
i found myself sitting folded in a darkness i can't describe, a hopeless lostness ..
my naivete had shown its tousled, unkempt head again and i was struggling desperately to stomp the bastard back into his hole, to refuse to accept that i could be so spaced, so literally illiterate at 50-something

`|`

that pain .. i understand now what it is
it's an old scriptural principle that i forgot .. or rather, shoved aside in my newfound enthusiasm, a principle that says " don't put your trust in princes or in humans or in chariots " .. your trust - the thing in you that resorts 'there' when the chips are down, goes just there when all your stuff hangs by barely a thread, there when the real you surfaces - is only ever deservedly spent on one person .. God

i'd lost that

so that, regardless of my confessed naivete and the potential for headinthesand, i, especially i, am only ever in the appropriate place when my think bubbles out of my Godheart ..
some may call that a safe place to retreat, to hide
i like to think of it as a refuge
some may see a slippery slope into quicksand
i see a rock
..
after all, it isn't whether or not i'm running-from, escaping .. that argument could go on for a while .. rather, it's this: my rock - the place i stand and land - and my fortress - the place i sleep and eat in safety - is my God

it isn't a rationale
it isn't a hidingplace
it's a dead-on principle that allows me a worldview above the current mess, while allowing me to be in the mess, part of the mess, getting messy with those around me for the sake of the kingdom of God, a concept that encompasses all nations, all people, all classifications, for reconciliation ..

i am obviously unable to make heads or tails of the mess
but that doesn't matter .. it doesn't because there's someone who is fully capable of doing that, and all i know (remember) is this: follow that Man, and i can't go wrong

i have learned again the enduring lesson that i am not the authority (my blatant ignorance of it all attests), and neither can anyone else provide 'the' perspective or have the definitive answer

Jesus walked the Godwalk, talked the Godtalk, did the Godthing .. done ..
mine is to stay in that sphere, know my place, and look to emulate Him ..
aside from that .. well, there's life in all its complexity and nuance to be lived; people in all their abridged humanity to know (and try to understand in my introvertedness); good deeds to be done - as someone wrote sometime past: " God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. "  (Eph 2.8-10)
..
there are two sides to that 'salvation' as it concerns this post ..
one is that God saves us: nothing we do
the other is we are saved to do

the confusion and disbelief i repeatedly encounter (as naivete) arises out of my passion to understand the depths of the human circumstance; i can't disavow that .. it's an integral part of my person
but one of the principles that allows me to keep my curiosity in perspective is that of trust in the Divine

and now, i'm off again .. trying to understand, hoping to be of use to someone, praying that my life will not be in vain, aspiring to Jesus in all his genuine humanity ..

and btw, i'm still pulling-for and praying-for that presidential appointment ..

peace to you

pause ..

i saw the stars just now
   didn't study or ponder them
   just noticed

i'm thankful for eyes to be able to see such wonder, a brain to know what they are, and a heart to interpret and appreciate

i know You're there
somewhere ..

whenever i pause to look
there You are


may i pause more

to vote or not ..

i've been flapping my arms wildly (and other non-mentionable crazy stuff), trying to figure how (and if) to speak to what-amounts-to a radical change in stylie for me ..
the issue is politics
and the issue is Christ
..

for the first time in 50+ years i'm engaged in the politics
and that's saying a whole bunch ..
(i used to be interested, but declined to vote because i could find noone to vote for; i don't vote party)

i couldn't ever handle the distinct impression i was being taken for a long windy ride
liars, the lot
deceitful and manipulative
   = abuse
i'm not into abuse

that from a principled p.o.v.

added to that there was my religious inclination - i'm not a citizen of this world, my focus is prepping people for the next one, leave the issues of this world to this world ..
then i ran into real Gospel and everything turned around
i realized that you can't bypass life to get to a person's soul
   a hungry man is hungry ..
   an abused woman is abused - attempting to ignore that abuse and head her
   toward heaven simply don't fly in the real world
.. and God is a realworld God

i found that serving that person's needs was a good way to open windows into the spiritual, that trying to do Jesus gave them a way to see Jesus ..
and that much moreso than the old tract-and-convict routine
   which now leaves a sour taste in my mouth

..

politics ..
even after my spiritual mind changed, politics was still a nono
perhaps even more so ..
how a government that claimed the title 'democracy' could treat its people so was beyond me ..
all sense of 'by' and 'for' the people was a lost critical pillar of that claim, while the wealth-minded pandered their way into influence and power and $ ..
the palliative politics has become a means to keep the citizens penned-in and cow-towing, serving the masters
..

then i ran into a politician who expresses some things that are 'worthy', to me anyway
and i started to think about my position
i've come to this place: when a politician moves in the direction of Jesus, whether or not they know it, then my responsibility is to support that person

so that when i see someone concerned for the poor, the vets, the homeless
and taking a position contrary to the monied manipulation of government for personal power and to shore-up the power of the monied movers
then i believe it is incumbent upon me to help that person achieve that

..

on the road the other day i tuned in to a christian station (stupid! me - will i never learn??)
the preacher is a well-known person in my used-to-be circle, JVM ..
i tuned in just at the point where the gentleman was castigating members of the clergy for joining-in with 'the world' in marches and other forms of civil expression of disapproval ..
and he was quite angry about it too
he thought it un-clergy-like
as if it was antiGod ..

and i sat there and thought of Abraham Joshua Heschel, and Rabbi Maurice Eisendrath and the Rev's and other ministers of the christian religion who linked arms and walked in the name of justice and freedom with the iconic visionary and tireless MLK, who gave his life for democracy and freeeeeeeedom ..
who am i to judge such principled and Godfearing men ??
nah .. in fact, i stand in shame for not being more solidly with the marginalized in their suffering, standing-up for the abused, representing the hurt

i stand in shame for that
for where there is injustice and inhumanity, i should be out front

..

today i am a different person
when i see someone standing for right, against injustice and racism and moneyprivilege and inequality in a nation where, according to its very constitution, all people are created equal and endowed by their creator with ..
when i see someone in politics daring to fight against the unjust and inhuman reality of the wealthy fixing the economy and funding politics to promote their greater wealth, while the ordinary person suffers from deprivation
i join in, however i can
i open my puny mouth
i support

so there ..
i fessed-up

where i can find someone moving for the welfare of the people, i can find Jesus' mind
and mine is to follow that Jesusmind wherever

i actually prayed for that politician
'cause the images of God that populate this country are, for the most part, hurting and in need

unlike the religious evangelicals and whoevers, who support some americanised aberration of christianity, and from whom i find my self increasingly distancing as they become more and more unChristlike, i want to see freedom and sharing and caring and compassion and love ..
and just to be clear on that, liberty university stands out in my mind

unlike the churches that invite Righties to 'preach' to their people, assuming the right to lord it over them as to how they should vote their conscience, i want to see a free people following Jesus in their exercise of their religious freedom to vote or not as God and their conscience tell them, and not feel pressured by their propagandizing clergy

unlike the church's caring more for themselves than for the homeless and the children living in poverty and the mentally unstable and the .., who elicit tithes for their empires, i want to see churches turning their pockets inside-out to buy a meal, to launder a homeless person's clothes, to find shelter for a woman and her children .. to offer help to the helpless, aid to that struggling human brother or sister ..

it's long time overdue for us to stop playing at being religious and to show our love for Jesus by loving
and that love can only be shown in this: "when i was hungry, you fed me; i was thirsty and you gave me a cup of cold water .. for inasmuch as you did it for them, you did it for me .."

..

that's my politics
it is grounded in my love for Jesus and my appreciation of his love for every human, created in his image
the image of God is in them as it is in me

any time, then, that i see an opening for justice and peace and mercy i'm in
for me to do otherwise would be disingenuous, and a denial of Master and his Way

i simply cannot be that

it's not my duty as a christian to vote
but it is my duty to support Jesus' kingdom agenda wherever i see it, even in politics ..
for the love of my neighboour

peace to you