wrestling with life ..

' israel ' is foundational to understanding God, human, and the relationship between us ..
not the nation israel
but the concept behind the word ' israel ' as seen early-on in Genesis

i got on this thought out of the insistence of some that the ' truth ' of the Bible as we interpret it is the truth, and not to be trifled-with - ever ..
in this line of think there's no place for doubt in the believer's life, or for questioning
one person recently said to me that to doubt is sin ..
that kind of think is my brought-upcy .. i learned to walk in that teaching, and lived it for many years ..
   ' truth ' ( as in ours ) is fixed and there's no possibility of adjustment
      so suck it up and solidify
      stand yer ground and repel all naysayers

`|`

and God called-out Abram and covenanted with him
   and renamed him ...

but the ' people of God ' the older Testament follows are not called or named after Abraham
they are named for one of his grandsons
   who was himself named ..

the telling of that story at Genesis 32 is remarkable from several perspectives
   ( read the 10 verses, 22-32 here  )
but the one i'm holding-out here is Jacob's determined persistence to know and be blessed by the preexistent Jesus ..
this is where my head is right now, in view of the calcified theology and the cemented mindset that i'm expected to hold on to

that incredible drive to be recognized, acknowledged and blessed by the One in the event
the impassioned overwhelming engrossment that drove everything else to the periphery
   even his wives and children and vast possessions
      ( not that he sent them away - they were already separated
      - but they were out of his mind now, whether present
      physically or not )
   it was as if nothing else mattered at all ..
.. is what matters to me here

this encounter
   new encounter, strange yet familiar, bloated with possibility
   leading he-knew-not-where
was the issue for Jacob ..

and my concern is that of being open and exposed to change and movement within the recognizable context of the God with whom i am somewhat familiar ..
perhaps even expecting change-up, what with the perennially and persistently present spirit of Jesus on the move in my life
   or rather, at least wanting to blow in my direction, move me, adjust my course
   change me ..
      isn't that what the Spirit does ?

`|`

it's the settled, arrived, cemented think that will swamp me, suck me under until hardly anything of me breathes life, the bulk of me locked-into whatever deathening philosophy-cum-theology some ' great ' men thought had to be insulated and inscribed in sinai-stones and tied around my neck, my personal albatross
..
that cannot be God, methinks ..
i'd best be open-minded ( " perish the thought! " )
   looking for naming by Him, willing to struggle, wrestling for a locked-in
   entanglement that could well dislocate my theological hip while broadening
   my view of this One who comes to wrestle with me ..
..
after all, it wasn't me that started this ..

it wasn't Jacob that started it ...
this was initiated by that Man who wrestles and eventually names ..
un-names and re-names

`|`

whether ' israel ' means ' God fights ' or ' he wrestles with God ', the explanation given by the Wrestler for the renaming is " you fought with God and man, and you won "
   ( whatever that really signifies in Jacob's context .. )
..
for me, i am left with a pungent taste of Jacob being challenged to wrestle with whatever or whoever .. and this wrestling is distinctively anti-settled, anti-cemented/fixed/unmovable
it is a muscled torsioning, every joint strained, a breath-sucking struggle to overcome the challenger, everything utilized in the effort, no energy withheld, every resource spent ..

God wants to move Jacob to some other place or level or understanding or trust - whatever it is, God wants him to move ..

and, to me, that's the thrust, the finger pointed in my direction in this journal/post ..
i dare not simply accept ' my lot '
i've not arrived or attained or completed ..
..
i am but me, journeying

some things fall off as i walk
others i must strain to cut-away, leave by the side of the road
other things i find as i travel, securing them in my pack, for they are a benefit to me as i go ..

..

there's no standing still here in this life
no putting-down roots, no foundationing for a stable home ..
I am part of a Body-family on the move, always adjusting to the threatening unfamiliarity of this ever-scarier world, relying on our Leader and each other for the bravery-under-trust to humbly take the very next step ..

refusing to fold my wings and statue
..
only move
desire
reach
seek
adjust and amend
stretch
.. follow as best i can

using whatever is at hand, whatever presents itself, for the sake of continually transforming this struggling, wrestling disciple into the imaginative image of Master Jesus, the One who wrestles, who names, who blesses ..

`|`

( aside : >>
while writing this post, i'm listening to a 2011 discussion between Krista Tippett and Walter Brueggemann ..
the point is made ( in the context of his Prophetic Imagination book ) that the call of the ( unqualified, unlettered ) prophets unsettles the hearers ..
and then this : it seems as if this call is to a ' holy unease ' .. " the Bible calls the faithful to not be too settled " ..
this at the very time i'm writing .. .
end aside )

`|`

it's notable that we are referred-to as ' pilgrims ', people on a journey, unsettled, unpinned, not dug-in
on the move, eyes shielded against the blinding glare of this world through which we journey, squinting to discover the next turn or oasis-rest or parched road that allows us forward on our pilgrimage through, toward, on ..

i dare not stand still
not now
it's late-on
   and there are miles to go before i sleep

`|`

so yes ..
' who am i ' is indeed still a most pressing question
one i hope never to abandon
for in the day i relinquish that pursual i die
my true humanity freezes
i become a relic of someone i was meant to be
   but never became

i must be becoming
Jesus is my becoming into

i wrestle to be there

`|`

where do You want me to go now ?
what direction ?

i want to struggle with You
   even in my weakness
do not let me alone
..

i see You

stretching my self, embracing other ..

i don't usually use this blog for what i'm using it for in this post ..

some time ago i read this post and was reminded of what little i know 
and some of that 'little' is a result of purposeful intentional deception by those who hold the power to influence the masses ..
such that, for example, some of the history i was taught is a misconstrual of reality, a biased portrayal of what happened, designed to display the events in a favourable way for the historian's own group while the other actors are often villainized

i have Howard Zinn's ' A People's History of the United States ' on my bookshelf, yet to be read, but fully intend to
because it's high time for this privileged empire white boy to step out of the ignorance given me by my British history education

the american colonial experience isn't the caribbean colonial experience or the african or indian, australian.. but it serves to enlighten nevertheless



   and too the use of the christian scriptures, the appeal to ' God '
   to bolster the argument for the horrible abuses deserves to be
   understood by us as christians
      and sorrowed by us

i post this here with the conviction that Christfollowers are called to truth
and truth doesn't diss the past; it acknowledges and incorporates history in its present to better allow for a better future
a better future because allowing for the relationships we are called-to today involves understanding the context of those we relate to
   part of who you are is where you came from and who you came from
as jesus people we should respect that and look to understand that
   especially from our privileged point-of-view, their underprivileged point-of-view
and excusing it or relegating it to the past so that " i'm not responsible " won't work
   because this is my neighbour and i am following Jesus who was all about neighbour ..
   actually that was his thing ..

      it defined him ..
..

for me, i'm working to find every way i can to adjust every part of my life to the example of my master, Jesus
this is one

there are 2 excerpts below, followed by a link to the article itself ..

what better you got to do in your 'spare time' today anyway ..


quote 1
" Century – Doctrine of Discovery:

In 1452, Pope Nicholas V wrote the following words in a Papal Bull:
“…invade, search out, capture, vanquish, and subdue all Saracens and pagans whatsoever, and other enemies of Christ wheresoever placed, and the kingdoms, dukedoms, principalities, dominions, possessions, and all movable and immovable goods whatsoever held and possessed by them and to reduce their persons to perpetual slavery, and to apply and appropriate to himself and his successors the kingdoms, dukedoms, counties, principalities, dominions, possessions, and goods, and to convert them to his and their use and profit”

This Bull was the first in a series of Papal Bulls written in the 15th century that became known as the Doctrine of Discovery "


quote 2
" American Exceptionalism:

In 1630, in the colony of Boston, John Winthrop preached a sermon in which he referred to the colony as a “City on a Hill” and reminded them that they must be obedient so God to that "the Lord our God may blesse us in the land whether wee goe to possesse it." This sermon was the Protestant church in America beginning to internalize and adopt the Doctrine of Discovery. It is the colonies, and later the nation, beginning to see their presence in North America as a God-blessed, even a God-ordained, event out of which comparisons to Old Testament Israel and their journey to a "Promised Land" could be drawn. Over the next hundred years or so this thinking matured into an understanding that not only was this new nation a "City on a Hill" but it also had a “Manifest Destiny” to discover, occupy and rule this continent from "sea to shining sea." "


http://wirelesshogan.blogspot.com/2014/12/doctrine-of-discovery.html?m=1

seeing blind ..

faith so-called is a limousine ride when you're living the american dream-life of independence and financial security under the protection of the empire ..

there's a certain exclusive dignity, a pompous cliquish mindset that adorns those of us who relish our western christianity - after all, we're not muslim or jew or sikh or hindu or any of those other eastern religions ..
we're Christians !
we are a christian nation and will fight all comers to secure that
and damned proud of it too ..

and then
      tragedy ..
something threatening yawns and our life is endangered, or our career
and there before us lies naked the prospect of a radically altered life
   or of the loss of life itself ..
and, in the time it takes to hand you the dismissal notice or the doctor's report, life flipped
   things got real nasty

and that faith ..
well, somehow it got knocked-over and lies scrambled on the living room floor like a broken vase of undusted fake flowers
and who's going to ever be able to unscramble that, fit the pieces, glue me back my faith ..
..

seems my faith was a label really
a bumper sticker
a tax deduction
a study Bible complete with highlighter
a t-shirt
a tattoo
a TV channel
a popular christian book carefully displayed
a once-a-month visit to an old people's home to preach the gospel so they too can get our faith before eternity snorts and snuffs ..

         = faith not ..


contrarily, when life slams or death blinks its cold sightless eyes in the dark
faith scrambles-up and shakes its mangy matted fur
raises its nose to the wind to better identify the danger
growls gutturally in defiance, hackles rising

.. it is in the colddark that faith's pulse seems to beat strongest ..

so then ..

wonderful message ..

https://youtu.be/3iTQuM8f8LY

have a listen