an advent of our own ..

so much pain in this world tonight ..

people sick

people abused

people poor, hungry, cold

people persecuted

people under the horror of war

people enslaved .. in their bodies, in their minds

.. .

and then there's advent

and then there's the revelation

and then there's somebody that took all that pain, all that sorrow, all the brokenness in the world, and internalized it, became that and overcame it

because of that man we have a confident hope

of new birth

of new life

of new creation

and of oneness with God, in person

blessed be the God that delivers us all from slavery

and makes us children

blessed be those that take that hope and make it apparent now, here, today, in this life

another kind of advent ..

peace

adventing ..

it's christmas, whatever that means for you

there is (has been for some time) a movement within christendom that looks to be original and groundbreaking by deconstructing the scriptures, removing the non-scientific (miracles, including the virgin birth), questioning the authenticity of the texts, relegating to 'fable' many of the stories - basically undoing the divine nature of the bible, leaving it solely a human-constructed effort

i choose not to
although my thinking has changed radically from what it was up to a decade ago, i still retain a reasonably 'high' view of scripture, albeit not nearly as literalistic

i do not shrink at God's becoming human, and God's choosing of how that would come about
God is still God, and could have done it any way God wanted, really

and so, when i think of the advent of the Jewish Messiah, i am pleased to think of God leaving what God was to become human and associate with us at the most intimate level
that rocks me still, sends chills through my soul, even after all this time

and i am yet to find an explanation for the inexplicable tone of friendliness that permeates the atmosphere among all people around this time, christian or not
and no, i don't think it has to do with holidays and gifts and parties and food and such
people who have existed in mortal-enemy status all year are wont to be at least civil, even if they revert later

so here comes my favourite time of year
filled with memories of family gathering, food - endless food, gifts, giving, laziness and such
and progressively filled with the simple awe that accompanies the birth of the long-awaited Jewish Messiah who would set on course the liberation of all humanity from its bondage to the fear of death, resetting the consequences of the Fall, inscribing hope in the human heart, radically displaying the very love-nature of God in his life and ultimately in his death
he set us free, and if the Son sets free, that is indeed freedom

to whom shall we go ?
we shall go to God in due time, as God comes to us in due time
as God has come to us in human form
and when we do, we shall embrace a human, Jesus, king of kings and lord of lords who loved us and gave himself for us all

those barebones words elicit all sorts of exciting chills and emotions and thoughts
and expectation

that's advent
anticipation
a longing for the long-awaited one
from God to us
with love
all boxed and wrapped and bowed
and given
Israel's Promise
overflowing to all the world, just like God promised to Abraham, father of all of faith ..

go there

peace


O come, O come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel that mourns in lonely exile here until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save and give them victory o'er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night and death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come, and open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high, and close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

release ..

you might have know it all along
read it somewhere, heard of it, considered it ..
it's not until you reach the level of being able to relinquish your hold on your life, your self, that you're able to release completely into the arms of God

it's not a 'level' in the sense of achievement or accomplishment, like "i did this"; it's more like a stage of life, a place you arrive

'abandonment' is one term used to describe it (i think andrew murray)

Jesus used 'deny yourself'
on one occasion, to illustrate, he told a rich man who came to him with a question about 'eternal life' to sell everything he owned and give the proceeds to the poor; i believe Jesus absolutely meant what he said to that man; that was his particular ball-and-chain
Jesus also mentioned a willingness to leave family, if necessary

thing is, that release is the embodiment of complete trust, and nothing, including your own family, your possessions, or your best-friend-dog should be seen as a 'no' to his beckon
and it's not that God is cruel, but God understands us. God became one of us. God knows that this kind of trust is only available to those who relinquish their hold on everything - all, barring none - and see their very life as disposable for him

it is just this kind of release God calls for; few find it, i think; and it sometimes takes tragedy and suffering to allow us to recognize it in ourselves

anything other than that utter abandonment to God is missing the mark of God's intention for us, for God created us in his own image, like him, and God knows what it means to  be God ..
for us to be transformed into the image of God's Son means we abandon all, even life itself, to God, in trust, and acknowledge God continually, second after second, in everything in this life

God is the point of it all

God is truly the 'final frontier'
and Jesus will take you there

God created us in his image and after his likeness
then he created himself in our image, after our likeness
the circle is complete
join the circle
do not be afraid
only trust
then let go of everything
and with arms spread wide open

jump

i'm a jew ..

ha
readers that know me are laughing at the title ..

actually i'm adopted ..

there are things that swish around in my mind, sometimes for years
it's just that putting them in an understandable format can be difficult, not to speak of the horror they could well elicit ..
not to speak of the response " well who are you that i should listen to you " ..

this is one of those things

i'm sitting in a noble bookstore with a recent issue of newsweek, titled 'the birth of Jesus Christ'
and i have to laugh
really
we are so silly
stupid?

i merely glanced through it, by the way; no serious reading
first thing that hits me with all the classic paintings is .. everybody is white
except for those 'three wise men'
which absolutely begs the question - if the renowned artists were able to find a darker colour for them, why is Jesus and Mary and Paul and Matthew and ... white?
why indeed

one other mentionable issue: the brilliant contributors to newsweek completely confused matthew and luke (see caption p 48) .. crazy

which leads me to .. Jesus was an Israelite, a Jew
his last name is not 'Christ'; that's a title meaning 'anointed one', and is the greek translation of the hebrew 'messiah'

although his purpose was to boost God's intention of reconciliation for the cosmos as a whole, for the Earth as a whole, for creation as a whole, for humanity as a whole, he entered the scene with a nod to Israel first, in acknowledgement of his own Jewish identity as well as God's covenant with Israel

there's a passage that states
' He came to His own, and His own people did not receive Him.
But to all who did receive Him, to those who trust in Him, He gave them the right to be children of God. '

Jesus opened the door to all people everywhere without their having to subscribe to Judaism, as in the past; no more need for circumcision, for observing sabbath, for eating/not eating certain foods, etc.
in his death he destroyed absolutely the dividing wall between Jew and non-jew (gentile)
all people everywhere are now on the same footing
which is how i became adopted

however
that's not to say that God has rejected Israel's place in his scheme of reconciliation
God is not a man that he should lie; he made a covenant with himself that Israel would be his chosen people in the earth, to represent him to all peoples, and apparently he's not going to back-off that covenant, even if Israel is unfaithful to it

apostle paul speaks to this in his letter to Roman christians, chapters 9-11 specifically, but addressed throughout the letter
the book known as 'Hebrews' speaks to it as well, big time
Paul points out that Christ-ians are 'wild olive branches' 'grafted on to the olive tree', i.e. Israel
he asserts that christians shouldn't neglect recognizing that adoption, because God has chosen to work through Israel
christians shouldn't be arrogant, as if Israel is a done-deal, as if christianity has replaced Israel ..
Paul was not throwing Israel out in his theology (even though God had changed tactics)
Christ-followers are made a part of Israel by trusting in Messiah Jesus

so
what's the point

i don't know .. you figure out how that affects you and your theology

for me, the issue is that it's another illustration of how we simply passover significant themes in the biblical narrative, as if they aren't important
and it's important, for it speaks to who God is, how he operates, who we are
who i am ..

be careful who you listen to
be careful who interprets scripture, who decides for you what is important and what isn't
be careful to get it for yourself
do not depend on someone else
God had it written down for you

if you claim to trust Jesus, to be his disciple, it's the very least you can do
considering what he has done for you
don't slight him
honour him by getting to know him and the God who is there behind it all, in scripture

peace

it's my road ..

as we follow Jesus, let's be sure that our purpose remains clear - following Jesus

that means there will be some (many?) that don't understand. Jesus doesn't lead us all on the same path; some head for the hills, some for the cities; some take the high road, some the low road. that's why it's not in our purview to judge.

it also means that as many possibilities as there are for alliances, there are just as many possibilities for misplaced allegiances. people naturally pull on us; they are our relations after all - family and friends and associates and fellowchurch - and they all deserve our respect and loving relation; but they should never replace or substitute for the vision and passion Jesus alone speaks into our heart. and we should never allow them to obstruct that vision.

he once said “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be My disciple". the use of 'hate' was a common employment for emphasis, but the point is well made: everyone else takes a secondary place in life next to Jesus.

discipling to Jesus is quite a bit more than many of us allow for. really, it requires everything we have. wasn't it he that said "if a person wants to be my disciple, let them deny themself every day, and take up their cross; then they can come follow me."? Jesus said that, to me and to you. that's rockin' stuff; that's the stuff of real serious stuff; that's like "listen, get real. don't just be wanting to be seen hanging around me, calling yourself a christian, 'going to church', wearing that cross. if you're coming with me all else goes: money and possessions, relationships, careeers - everything".

everything is up for grabs, unless Jesus uses it for his purposes. thing is, it isn't yours, and you have to relinquish your grasp on it, give it to Jesus - he may give it back.. or not

maybe i'm trying to say this: noone and nothing should acquire such an influence over us that we don't feel comfortable asserting ourselves as disciples - first; as in numero uno priority; as in this is my life, this is who i am, this defines me. we can't allow anything to detract from that or distract from it. period. all in .. all, if we want to follow Jesus.

Jesus' calls us on particular paths. we follow that path, whether others get it or not. we should learn to respect that in others, and take pains not to be a naysayer or a stumbling block, even if we think we're doing 'the right thing' for that person. interfering with that path in a disciple's life is serious stuff; it could confuse that person, and it frustrates Jesus.

so while i try to do my thing in walking with Jesus, don't be offended if it doesn't suit your agenda, doesn't fit in your philosophy, doesn't meet your expectations, is contrary to your think, puts you out.

i'm not looking to offend anyone, i'm simply walking my road, trying to keep up with that man.

ours must be to find the path Jesus wants for us, our own particular, peculiar road, and go there. everything else is huff and puff; it'll blow your house down, eventually.

peace
and when you find your path, walk it. there's only one person you're accountable to in the longrun. be sure your conscience is clear.

spirit

the opening chapters of John's gospel account find Jesus repeatedly pointing-out a different and mostly neglected reality: that of the spirit

our failure to 'see' the spiritual rests solely with our almost-exclusive dependence on our soul, that intangible piece of us which relates through our senses - we see, we smell, we touch, we hear, we taste

the reach of Jesus extends us beyond the rational into the perception that lies within our hearts and speaks to our conscience. nutshelled, it resonates 'trust'; and it speaks to trust in the spirit of God who, like the wind, blows where she will. all we can do is trust the movement of the Spirit, forsaking sense.

that resonates 'genuine', the MeThatIAm reponds to the IAmThtaIAM, the imago dei resurrects, God-connectedness, God-awareness; God blowing through me, inspiring; windblown hair in an incredibly refreshing breeze, cleansing the soul of me

i am born from above

God is very present ..

church, and the like..

like prayer and candles and liturgy and the Communion Table

like wearing crosses and teeshirts that say 'God is love' .. or 'God hates fags'

like pledges and offering plates and the good deeds we 'do'

like 'grace' at the table and gospel tracts and missionary funds

like missionary conferences and revival week

like reading religious books and devotionals and watching those preachers on the tele, maybe giving a 'seed-offering' 'cause you'll be blessed to overflowing, or as one of 'em allegedly recently said to someone on the street, "give me everything you got; you'll be a millionaire in 10 days" ..


like that we try to bring God close, down to where we are, kinda like get-God's-attention ..

think on that .. we try to get God to notice us, like some kid jumping up and down with their hands in the air
it becomes laughable
it is laughable
imagine, a teeny humanoid bouncing and crying out "I'm here! I'm here! Look at me" to the very God that created everything, including weeny humans .. whiny humans

God is here already
we simply are not aware of his presence; we're not open to his here-ness
it's like we live outside ourselves, wanting for us to feel God, while the reality of God is close at hand, nearby
fact is God is all around us, everywhere
present in the tree, the flower, the bird, the breeze, the dog, the whitecloud sky, the gliding bird ..
they all reflect the glory of their creator, like many tiny mirrors, all adjusted to face God

and God is there in the doing
there in the kitchen, in the workplace, the game, the social get-together, the churchplace, the charitable activity

the issue is never "where is God?"
truth be told, God is very present, intimately so - involved, caring, open, inviting, listening, speaking, breathing
God is here

when are we going to open ourselves, become completely vulnerable, exposing our realself to the gaze of the God who is here .. ?

trust is what it takes
trust
trusting God to be the god he's supposed to be
trusting that God is pure, with no secret motives, no manipulation in mind, no illwill
that God loves
that God is love
love
not hurt or pretense or angry or excommunicating or marking-off or excluding from this or that 'table' or a liar or cheat or hateful or resentful or ornery or racist or selfish ..
like us

mine is to recognize that God is here, and i don't have to put on religion, or go on a pilgrimage to some holy place, or repeat some mantra over and over to get God, or to get to God ..
God is here
once i've brought that into me, I can begin to act like it, attitude it, live it
God is here
i only have to look up, listen, watch
be
i only have to be, be in the now of it, and i will know God, for God is there, close at hand
i will see God
i will talk with God, God will talk back
i will respond to my conscience warning me, or blessing me

i will notice God
everywhere

i don't have to find God
God is here
all i need to do is admit it

where can i find God in this 'christian' nation ? ..

i suppose i could leave it alone
walk away, head hung in disappointment, again
walk on
think ' maybe next time ' ..
but i won't
i refuse
i'm angry and i'm going to vent


i live in what's been touted as a 'christian' nation, and i can't find a 'church' ..
and i refuse to simply accept what is available; that's what some thinlk i should do - "no church is perfect", they say

i'm not looking for perfection ..
i'm looking for Jesus in the room, in the preacher, in the person next to me at the table
i'm lookiing for the spirit of Jesus
sniffing for his aroma
i want to taste him in the air

i am so very very tired of the same 'ol same 'ol
of creeds (some of which i disagree with, at points), of liturgical repetition without heart-mind engaged, of 15 minutes on 'pledging' and more to come in the next several weeks, of pomp and presentation and professionalism
i'm tired
and i'm angry
i am disappointed and very angry
i didn't sleep well, but i hauled my tired body out of the bed and made a valiant effort to find a group of people to engage with, to share, to worship, to discuss the majesty of our magnificent God

that's all
simple
.. . . . . . . . . ..      .

don't we see that God wants our hearts?
he wants me
the creedal repetition and read-prayers and recitations are, for the most part, vanity and futility
so too are the new-fashioned lights and bands and coffee counters and blue jeans, for the most part, because they are simply another made-up recipe devised to attract

God doesn't need creeds or attractive formats
God wants us, at the core of us, to be
simply be
be in the presence of God
be in the moment
be there to feel God, to experience God, to praise and thank God, to see God sitting there, next to me
God is not at all interested in our buildings or presentation
God is intimately interested in me, in you, in us
present
simply present
and open to God's spirit

i wanted to get outside and scream
really
i wanted to scream in frustration and the agony of being left with no opportunity again to share my passion with Jesus and experience that passion coming back at me, full force, no holds barred
i wanted to shout out " God! where are you??! "

i am at a loss for words
i can't adequately express how depressed i feel, how lost, how beaten-down, how frustrated

with all the 'christian' colleges and universities and seminaries
with all the churches
with all the trained preachers and pastors, doctors and masters and whatsoeveryouwannacallit ..
with all the money
all that, and Jesus barely gets in the front door
in fact, i figure he walks out too, just like me
and he stands there on the street outside that church building and cries out "Why?!! Why do you make my father's house into a place of business? This is a house of prayer! Out! Get out!"
i wish he would
i only fear that if he did, there would hardly be a place of worship and prayer to be found .. you'd probably have to go a long way to find one

God told israel that he wanted none of their sacrifices, nothing of their pretense
he was sick of it
because they speak of God, but they don't know God
he is in their mouth, but not in their heart
so he spit them out of his mouth
vomited-up their vanity
they made him sick

and the very same thing could be said of Jesus' people today
he warned us in the Revelation to John - "you're neither hot nor cold; you're lukewarm,, and i hate lukewarm - i will spit you out!"
Jesus said that
.... . .   ...  .

i'm spending my sunday sitting in a coffee shop with nfl on the tele and an unsettled spirit
unfulfilled
disappointed
depressed
upset
lost

i need fellowship
i need to see and hear and speak-to and touch and experience Jesus in a group
where God's Spirit overflows, oozes, permeates the atmosphere so strongly that it almost drowns me
where God is exalted and Jesus stares through eyes, staring at me in love, smiling

i need that

God is not pleased with what we're doing with Jesus
God is sick at our misrepresentation of who God is
and the religious intelligentsia are to blame, and the preachers and teachers and prophets and whatever
it's always been like that
somehow when people become leaders they forget who their leader is
the real leader
Jesus, the originator and completer of our faith
they forget they are but dust, looking for accolade and recognition and positioning themselves for power and influence and wealth
they become a stink in the nostrils of the God that calls them to serve
their stench displaces the sweetsmelling aroma of Jesus
they need to be baptised again, into the Christ, a new personage, a fresh anointing, a pleasing aroma to the God that cries out "Who will stand in the gap for me?"

who indeed

WHERE can i find it

i had it once, or something close to that, in a church on the other side of this country, a church in a circle, a church where the circle led to the centre, and Jesus' scent was in the air, a sweet aroma that fills the air
i miss that
i hope they never change, and that anything or anyone that threatens that is deposed and cast out before the smell of Jesus is gone, another house of prayer biting the dust

i quit my whining
but the anger remains, albeit somewhat lessened by my venting

so, here i sit, on this sunday, banging my head ..

i shoulda been there, in God's place, with his people, breathing-in a refreshing breeze from the heart of Jesus
.. not today
not today

how tragic

hall 6 .. christian accountability

over the last several days, and with more to come, i have been publishing quotations from douglas john hall's book The Cross in Our Context ( fortress press, 2003 )



" If, traditionally, contextual theological thought has been rare in North America for the colonialist and other reason adduced earlier, it is discouraged today by the heavy burden of guilt that such analysis is likely to inflict upon us. Rather than question the rectitude of our way of life, we will ignore incontrovertible economic, environmental, geopolitical, and other statistics, minimize the extent of our consumption and waste and its effects upon the biosphere, and consign to exaggeration and scare-mongering all those who demand of us a rigorous accounting and a change of lifestyle. " ( p49 )

.............................................................

" As Bonhoeffer insisted in all of his writings .. the Judeo-Christian tradition is an extraordinarily ' worldly ' faith, which, if we are serious about it, will not provide for us  - will in fact deny us - an escape from the terrors of finite existence but will instead beckon  us toward an immersion in creation the like of which we should never have chosen on our own. " ( p55 )

hall 5 .. context

" Systematic or dogmatic theology has been slow to learn the lesson of contextuality, especially its place-component, and one cannot avoid the conclusion that a ( if not the ) predominant reason for this lies in the character of the enterprise as such. The very adjectives systematic and dogmatic .. betray a predilection to permanency. It so easily happens that a ( right and good ) desire to "see the thing whole", to integrate, to describe connections, to honor the unity of truth, and so on becomes, in its execution, an exercise in finality.
.. the thing that prevents the theological answer from assuming the status of the absolute is the human question, which is never silenced, and the situation, which keeps changing. ( p45 )

" .. entering into the specificity of one's own time and place is the conditio sine qua non of real theological work. Without that participatory act and identity, theology invariably lapses into mere doctrine. The world that the disciples of the crucified one are obliged to take seriously is first of all that world that is their own. " ( p47 )

authority ..

" .. since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead also comes through a man. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive, but each in his own order: Christ, the firstfruits; afterward, at His coming, those who belong to Christ.

Then comes the end, when He hands over the kingdom to God the Father, when He abolishes all rule and all authority and power, for He must reign until He puts all His enemies under His feet. The last enemy to be abolished is death. For God has put everything under His feet. But when it says “everything” is put under Him, it is obvious that He who puts everything under Him is the exception.

And when everything is subject to Christ, then the Son Himself will also be subject to the One who subjected everything to Him, so that God may be all in all. "
                      ( 1 Corinthians 15. 21-28 )


think about that .. .


anything strike you ?

hall 4 .. gethsemane

" The Friday event [ Good Friday ] must be seen as the culmination of the movement of the Creator toward the creation. Here the decision to be God-with-us is brought to its final test. Gethsemane, that cross before the cross, displays in the most dramatic and poignant terms the excruciating pain that such a final step entails: pain for the man who is our representative and priest; pain for the God whom he also represents. " ( p39 )

" .. what Jesus of Nazareth struggles with at Gethsemane, that second Garden of Temptation, is not simply whether he will or will not submit to the execution that his human enemies have been planning for him, but whether he will or will not reaffirm the divine decision to be Emmanuel. "
( p39 )

" .. in our Good Friday remembrance of [ the crucifixion ] , Christians celebrate the victorious decision of the Christ to traverse this final sad portion of the Via Dolorosa, to take that final step toward the world God loves. For all the pain of it, it is also a triumph over pain - the pain, namely, of the decision that has preceded it, the decision to go that far.
When this is understood, the victory of the Christ is not reserved for Easter Sunday; it is already fully present at Golgotha. " ( p39 )


......................................

" We, whose movement in one way and another has always been away from the world, whether into our own private little worlds or to some theoretic superworld of our own devising - we, through our 'baptism into his death' ( Rom 6:1f ), are being directed toward the world where his life is being lived, hidden among the lives of those especially whom the world as such seems to have denied fullness of life ( Matt 25:31 ff ). " ( p41 )

hall 3 .. theology of the cross

" The Theology of the Cross .. is nevertheless first of all a statement about God, and what it says about God is not that God thinks humankind so wretched that it deserves death and hell, but that God thinks humankind and the whole creation so good, so beautiful, so precious in its intention and its potentiality, that its actualization, its fulfillment, its redemption, is worth dying for. "  (24)

"The divine determination to "redeem my people'' has, as we may say, a long history. That it is perhaps even inappropriate to assign that decision to time has been the rationale of all who insisted the incarnation was planned before the foundation of the world - though such  a concept runs counter to the biblical assumption  that human history is predicated on human freedom and not predetermined. In any case, the when of the divine decision is not as vital as is its character as decision. God's unconditional commitment to the world is not the consequence of destiny - is not necessary, as if by the sheer act of creation the Creator were bound to see the creation through to the realization of its full potential. God, in the biblical tradition, is with us voluntarily - through love alone. And this quality of volition, which is the origin and essence of what the bibilcal tradition means by grace, must be borne in mind in all dimensions of theological reflection, particualrly when that reflection has to do with the suffering that such a commitment entails - and it always entails suffering, whether it applies to Jesus Christ or to his disciples. " (37)

hall 2 ... theologia gloriae

" [Luther] names that against which he is directing his critique theologia gloriae. The closest we may come in contemporary English to what Luther intended here .. is the term triumphalism. "
" Triumphalism refers to the tendency in all strongly held worldviews, whether religious or secular, to present themselves as full and complete accounts of reality, leaving little room for debate or difference of opinion .. "    (17)

" Prophetic religion or faith, as we have it exemplified in the tradition of Jerusalem, engages in the ongoing critique of the purely human tendency to deify fondly held views of the individual or the group; the human word, however wise or sacred, is never to be equated with the Word of God. But without this dimension, religion (including Christianity as religion) suffers badly from the deep psychic need of finite humankind to find security and permanency in expressions of belief from which all ambiguity, all relativity, and all doubt are expunged. "   (18)

" The theologia gloriae .. overwhelms the human with its brilliance, its incontestability, its certitude. Yet just in this it confuses and distorts, because God's object in the divine self-manifestation is precisely not to overwhelm but to befriend. "   (20)

hall

over the coming days i intend to share some of my favourite quotations from a book i read by douglas john hall, the cross in our context

while it was not an easy book to read for the technical brilliance of the man ( in terms of his mastery of the language as well as his knowledge of scripture ), it was a venture i enjoyed; i intend to revisit ..

" .. no 'theology of glory' will be able to bring closure to the question " What are people for ?". For that anxiety, the only answer that will suffice is the participation in our lives of a God who shares the question, whose Presence gives us the courage of hope. " 

(133)

imagine .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. `` `` `` `` `` `` ``

imagine you're hit by a bullet ..
try to bring your imagination to bear enough to bring yourself to seeing you being hit by a bullet
try

............................................................................................................

can you ?
even a hint of it ?
as if you were standing there knowing you were going to be shot ..
try it

............................................................................................................
anything ??

if you were able to generate some kind of feeling about it, even if you know it wasn't like the real thing, it was a poor imagining ..
even if
take that same effort and imagine there is a God
a God that lives and moves and has being
a God in whom we live and move and have our being

try
as if God was standing there looking at you
this is God

imagine it

and you are face to face with God
what do you imagine God to be like ?
with what words would you describe ..
" God is .. "
not what God looks like, but what is God like
to you

and after you've tried to look into the face of God
what do you imagine you would say
to God ?

what indeed ..

i need no other argument, i need no other plea; it is sufficient - Jesus died, and he died for me
[ an old hymn, adapted ]

i stand there
i can only stand there
there is no other place to stand if i would look God in the face, for this Jesus is the Way
i stand there
i have no defense other than this
i am his brother, he is my advocate before all accusers, and there is none better because he's been the distance
he has arrived

where are you ?

you looking to the tele preacherboys ?
listening to them ?
you looking to your church ?
your pastor ?
your christianity ?
your theology ?
your ministry ?
your calling ?
your history ?

look no further, friend
those things are not the last Word on anything
there is one Word only that matters
and he sits at God's right hand right now

there's where my faith is
my hope
my love
my life

i follow that man
and him alone

Jesus is my master
the only one to whom i account
and the day he looks me in the eye i want to have a clear conscience
clean
i love him for what he has undertaken and undergone for me and for us and for all humanity
i owe him everything
and he is right there with God
now
God's commander in chief
king of kings and lord of lords
the IAM
the IAMWHOIAM
Jehovah himself
Yahweh
Messiah
that's the one i follow
you can tell who he is - he has a nail scar on each hand and one incredible smile
and he's looking me straight in the heart
in love with me

how could i ever ever not
i owe him everything

.............................................

imagine ..
just try
maybe God's standing there waiting for you to approach
maybe God's been trying to get your attention

maybe it's time for you to get real

maybe it's time to stop playing christian
stop playing church
stop playing hymns
stop playing prayer
stop playing

God isn't playing
Jesus is not playing
they're real

imagine ..

then do something

You Are Being Led

" You Are Being Led

Ripening reveals much bigger or very different horizons than we realize. The refusal to ripen leads to what T.S. Eliot spoke of in “The Hollow Men,” lives that “end not with a bang but with a whimper.” I hope that you are one of those people who will move toward your own endless horizons and not waste time in whimpering. Why else would you even read this? Perhaps these meditations may help you trust that you are, in fact, being led. Life, your life, all life, is going somewhere and somewhere good.

Ripening, at its best, is a slow, patient learning, and sometimes even a happy letting-go—a seeming emptying out to create readiness for a new kind of fullness—which we are never totally sure about. If we do not allow our own ripening, and I do believe it is somewhat a natural process, an ever-increasing resistance and denial sets in, an ever-increasing circling of the wagons around an over-defended self. At our very best, we learn how to hope as we ripen, to move outside and beyond self-created circles, which is something quite different from the hope of the young. Youthful hopes have concrete goals, whereas the hope of older years is usually aimless hope, hope without goals, even naked hope—perhaps real hope. Such stretching is the agony and the joy of our later years.

Old age, as such, is almost a complete changing of gears and engines from the first half of our lives and does not happen without slow realization, inner calming, inner resistance, denial, and eventual surrender, by God’s grace, working with our ever-deepening sense of what we really desire and who we really are. This process seems to largely operate unconsciously, although we jolt into consciousness now and then, and the awareness that you have been led, usually despite yourself, is experienced as a deep gratitude that most would call happiness. Religious people might even call it mercy. "

end quote

rohr
        [underline mine for emphasis]

my cross .. take it up, embrace it

as i read dj hall's comments on death ( see previous post ) and thought about the truth of how we have turned the dread of it into something palatable to the human event, even the christian human event, i remember the Hebrews passage ( ch 2 )
since the children have flesh and blood in common, Jesus also shared in these, so that through His death He might destroy the one holding the power of death—that is, the Devil— and free those who were held in slavery all their lives by the fear of death. 
 a lot of ' death ' in those few words ..

' we ' evangelical protestants have managed ( both in the sense of arriving at, and in the sense of working to that end ) to refocus the obvious injustice and wicked manipulation of the human state by the satan into a future-focus, an ' it-will-be-alright-in-the-end ', which, while creditable in its own right, reduces death to a doorway to paradise
it is, after all
but we dare not undermine that disruptive force that dogs us on this liferoad, moreso in our later-in-life period ..

Jesus' ministry of the cross drove hard at initiating reconciliation for us, and that reconciled recreation of the human state deals with death, not by suppressing it or otherwise by-'passing' it, but by facing it head-on in all its horror as it sucks life out us, the very imago dei

modern theology tends to avert this admission at a huge cost to itself, for only by taking up our cross, our own place and instrument of death, can we finally be disciples of Jesus
he didn't use those words lightly; he wanted us to see the reality in all its darkness, understand that sobering end, embrace a life soaked in atrophy and decay, a worldlife of death that was never God's intention

that's the balancing act that must take place in me ..
while seeing my state and that of all humanity as currently wrapped in burial clothing, we for sure see too the hope, by faith, of God's re-creation, life out of death, out of nothing
surely Jesus is our forerunner and faith-full high priest, and ours is to trust him, hope in him, see his life through the death that is ours

we do see Jesus —made lower than the angels for a short time so that by God’s grace He might taste death for everyone— crowned with glory and honor because of His suffering in death. For in bringing many sons to glory, it was entirely appropriate that God ( all things exist for Him and through Him ) should make the source of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For the One who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters ..
see the progression: Jesus is exalted because he suffered death, suffered in dying, suffered in the path to that dying death, and that was appropriate for him who embraced our humanity; we are his siblings ..
thus, the implication is that we too suffer, must suffer, as humans
he honoured that condition by immersing himself in it, and then using it as a referent for following him

we look forward to the recreation, certainly
but that's only one side of our lifecoin
as NT Wright often avows, we are in the ' not yet ' stage
the kingdom awaits; it is our hope; but the twisty debilitating road that leads there is fraught with distress at our own human condition, and the required compassion that accompanies that as we look to recognize Jesus in the faces we meet and to be Jesus in their eyes and lives .. no greater calling exists

there is death, and there is the embracing of death, the alter ego to the recreated life that sings sweetly in Jesus-tone
we might well be careful not to downplay or dumbdown the 'value' of that, for ultimately it is in dying that we live .. anyone that will save their life will lose it, but anyone that will lose their life for my sake, finds life .. Jesus

apostle Paul, a much-denigrated apostle in modern theothink, once said that his is to fill up in himself the sufferings of Messiah Jesus for the sake of Jesus' Body, the Church ..
who are we to take any lesser view of life in this deathlife we call ' life ' ?

and so .. when i see death in my life, the death of my life, the death of what i thought was my life, even the seemingly to-me laudable and commendable lifethings that i thought were Jesus things ( and maybe was right in seeing them to be so ) - when those things die i must embrace their dying as a part of my journey into life for Jesus' sake, for mine is not to be overly sorrowful or regretful, but balancing - take and embrace the death of them in hope of new life, tomorrow .. or the next day

God is still working on reconciliation; i need to be involved in that work as well as open to the reconciliation of me

may my dying be seen as life to someone else, in someone else
may Jesus be exalted and may God get the glory

.. .. .

O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe, that in thine ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be.

O Cross that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust, life’s glory dead, and from the ground there blossoms red Life that flows from Thee.
[adapted from an old hymn]

dj hall on death ..

windblown .. .

it's cold out, and blustery
the leaves trying to hold their own, vigorous gusts trying hard to dislodge them

sometimes it's cold in, and blustery
i try to hold my own as vigorous gusts try hard to dislodge me
tossed, fluttering this way, then that
shaking at my roots
scared ? ..


" The wind blows where it pleases, and you hear its sound, but you don’t know where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”


sometimes i get scared at what God is doing  ..


" .. anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God. "

blow !
just blow
then breathe
on me ..

compassion ..

compassion: a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering
com-passion: passioning with someone
note both aspects of the definition; it's similar to empathy, but goes farther - it wants to relieve the suffering
.. ...    .

in recent times i've attempted to explain something of homelesslife to friends and acquaintances
it has been difficult
( and this is in no way deprecatory of those people; it is not uncommon in the western world of now )

apart from the fact that they had a difficult time grasping the concept ( i believe out of a tradition, a culture, an education, and a never-been-there mentality ), there was a denial and rationalization colouring the discussion ..
my only recourse was to provide examples, personal experiences, and stories from my homeless brothers and sisters

leading to this ..
Mark Twain made a comment - " i have never let my schooling interfere with my education " - the motivation being we can be indoctrinated by our cultural and social environment to think a certain way, believe certain things, while rejecting other think, assume this or that .. meanwhile the truth of life ( even in that very environment ) is simply not so
hence, ours is to question, investigate other sources, take a critical position and, most importantly, head heartfirst into God, the source of wisdom

the in-credible think that says because we live in 2014 we are wiser is just that
knowledge is not wisdom
our modern penchant for infobites and dreadfully briefly-stated arguments, our drive to condense so that we can consume so much more, is fraught with the danger of oversimplification and surface-engagement

there is a huge difference between knowing about something and engaging the issue with a view to some form of change in myself - the latter requires so much more
engaging a topic in order to affect any meaningful change in me deserves depth and breadth, consideration of this and that viewpoint, and should result in a challenge to our off-the-bat, knee-jerk response to a paragraph or soundbite  ..

thus, in this case, a willingness to understand homelesslife by listening first, by investigation, and by recourse to God would go far in opening my mind to the millions that live there in this country, not to mention the billions of impoverished in the world at large
to simply dismiss those people as lazy, as bums, addicted or alcoholics, insane or mentally disturbed - the intimation being that they deserve their circumstance, made their own bed to lie in - is to do massive injustice, probably on par with the inhumanity that allows for such a huge incidence of that lifecondition in the first place, and further allows that lifecondition to persist ..
it does not speak well to wisdom

further to that, to assume that i can sit here in my comfortzone and understand homelesslife is, at best, foolhardy - it smells of arrogance and judgmentalism, selfishness and a complete misunderstanding ( worse yet, dismissal ) of Jesus' primary teaching - i must love my neighbour as i love my own self

there is widom in the thought ' you can't truly understand my situation 'till you've walked a mile in my shoes '
did you think people actually choose homelesslife, like they were choosing a car or a university or a career ?
really ??
really ..
have you considered what a homeless life must be like ? as in, sat there and tried to walk yourself through some part of their day, or night ?
virtually walking in their shoes ..
and that still leaves a vast fissure in understanding, since ' virtual ' is a long-distance view

i am not being rude, nor am i castigating anyone; simply put, perhaps before we express our opinions or draw conclusions from our boxed-in point of view, we should consider compassion, particularly when it speaks to humanity in its manifestations

be wary of allowing your culture, your politics, your education, your religion, your whatever to dumb-down your inquisitivenss, your imagination, your reasoning, for the true you lies beyond that, as Twain implied

above all else, i must go to my spirit ( not mind ), where the spirit of the living God can access and bypass my own arrogance and insularity
stretching my self towards true reality


p.s. - a friend recently posted something similar to this on fb .. ' anyone has some cash i can borrow? i'm about to be evicted '
well, you could look down your long nose at them, but bear in mind this person has 30+ years in photojournalism, still employed, and was recently featured on a major network ..

p.p.s. - " It is not some religious act which makes a Christian what he or she is, but participation in the suffering of God in the life of the world. " .. bonhoeffer

p.p.p.s - " .. everything the most serious Christians would consider essential to Christan faith: the primacy of love; the demand for justice, especially towards the underprivileged; the insistence upon forgiveness ( not just once, but seventy times seven ); the equality of all human beings, without reference to race, culture, gender, and all else; above all, I think, the insistence upon a continuous and prophetic orientation toward truth and a concomitant vigilance against hypocrisy, subterfuge, and oversimplification. " .. dj hall

p.p.p.p.s. - " Christians, we have maintained, are those who through confrontation with death are given a new freedom from the sting of death and so a new freedom for voluntary service to others. ... The theology of the cross is intended to give rise not only to an ecclesiology of the cross, but to an ethic, the essence of which is the attentiveness to human and worldly suffering that is made possible in those who have been and are being delivered from self. " .. dj hall

peace to you

alone ..

aloneness
while most of us who've experienced it dread it for it's often depreciating effects on our souls
there lies within that cavern potential for growth, for strength, maybe for a deeper understanding of who i really am
who am i
really ..

the rocket-fueled madness we in the west call ' life ' offers scarce room for it
that, coupled with the fear of facing my self in those dark, seemingly-endless spaces
   - why go there ?!!
bars the door to what could be an opening to my broader self
a self that lies mostly dormant in the deep of whoever it is i am ..
noone goes there, barring the spirit of the Almighty ( an alarming thought )
noone

we don't choose aloneness much
but the privilege of choosing that
   quiet
      albeit welcoming the sounds of nature
   peace
      although the introspection, reflection and meditation
      bear heavy baggage
   discovery
      as i walk those black halls, musty corridors
      stare at scary locked rooms
is one we might well consider taking advantage of ..

face the demons
let them come, in the heavy blasts of their huge wings, the sickening smell as they swoop past, the terrible shrieking ..
they are my tormentors
and they are
   me

i have to run !
now !!
back to that space over there on top that flat rock table
where the Light bores through
where there's warmth
and i can see

there i'll recover from the dark
find my balance after the horror of that room
balance
in the Light

later, maybe i'll again find a spark of courage to leave that circle of Light again
back into the dark
in search of another room
.. . . .   .

the end of that cycle can be a stronger, maturing me,
formed from the dares, the scary challenge, the flint-will to go there
on tiptoes

maybe i'll get back
   or not
but i have to go
find
   me

.. . . .     .

I come to the garden alone
   the dew is still on the roses ..
there's this voice i hear, falling gently on my ear ..  
God speaks
and the sound of His voice is so sweet 
   the birds hush their singing

God 
   walks with me, talks with me 
   tells me I am His own ..

I’d stay in the garden with Him 
   though the night around me be falling
but God's voice bids me go
   midst those cries of woe ..
a voice to me is calling
   calling
                  [ my edited version of an old hymn ]

another read on suffering

" Holding the Darkness

When we try to live in solidarity with the pain of the world—and do not spend our lives running from necessary suffering—we will surely encounter various forms of “crucifixion.” Many say pain is merely physical discomfort, but suffering comes from our resistance to, denial of, and our sense of injustice or wrongness about that pain. This is the core meaning of suffering on one level or another, and we all learn it the hard way.

As others have said, pain is the rent we pay for being human, but suffering is to some degree optional. The cross was Jesus’s voluntary acceptance of undeserved suffering as an act of total solidarity with all the pain of the world. Deep reflection on this mystery can change your whole life. It seems there is an inherent negative energy or resistance from all of us, whenever we are invited to a more generous response. Yet this is the necessary dying that the soul must walk through to go higher, further, deeper, or longer. The saints called these dyings “nights,” darkness, unknowing, doubt. This is when you grow—but “in secret.”

Our secular world has almost no spiritual skills to deal with this now, so we resort to addictions, and other distractions to get us through our pain and sufferings. This does not bode well for the future of humanity. Only truly inspired souls choose to fully jump on board this ship of life and death. The rest of us waste our time blaming or playing the victim to our own advantage.

Without the inner discipline of faith (“positive holding instead of projecting”) most lives end in negativity, blaming others, or deep cynicism—without even knowing it. Jesus hung in the crucified middle and paid the price for all such reconciliation (Ephesians 2:13–18); he then invited us to do the same, and showed us the outcome—which is resurrection!

rohr

another read, this on suffering

" God needs to catch us by surprise because our very limited preexisting notions keep us and our understanding of God small. We are still trying to remain in control and we still want to “look good”!
God tries to bring us into a bigger world where by definition we are not in control and no longer need to look good. A terrible lust for certitude and social order has characterized the last 500 years of Western Christianity, and it has simply not served the soul well at all. Once we lost a spirituality of darkness as its own kind of light, there just wasn’t much room for growth in faith, hope, and love.

So God has to come indirectly, catching us off guard and out of control, when we are empty instead of full of ourselves. That is why the saints talk about suffering so much. They are not masochistic, sadistic, negative, morbid, or oppositional. The mystics have seen the pattern and, as Teresa of Ávila says in one place, it is not that you are happy for the suffering—who would be, who could be?—you are happy for the new level of intimacy that the suffering brought you to. You only know this after the fact, perhaps days or weeks or even years later. One day you realize, “God is so real to me now. How did I get here?” All you know is that you did not engineer or even imagine this. You were taken there when you were off guard. John’s word for that is darkness. "

rohr

the move of God

So then, if you all are encouraged by being in Christ, if you gain comfort from his love, if you share in the same spirit He does, and if there is any tenderness and compassion among you, then make my joy to overflow by thinking the same way, sharing the same love - be one in mind and spirit. Don't act out of personal selfishness or conceit, but rather out of humility, valuing the others above yourselves; don't look out for yourselves only, but for their interests too.

As you relate to one another, take on the same mindset as Christ Jesus - he was God, but he didn't consider his divinity something he couldn't let go of; rather, he emptied himself of it by becoming a servant, taking on the likeness of human. Further, as a man, he humbled himself through obedience, even to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

For this reason God has highly exalted him, giving his name ultimate priority, such that at the name ' Jesus ' every knee in the cosmos will bow, and every tongue will acknowledge that the Messiah Jesus is indeed lord, and God will be glorified.

philippians 2. 1-11

a read ..

the following is Richard Rohr's post, Surrendering in Stillness

Mirabai Starr, who will be joining us for CONSPIRE 2015 in Albuquerque, New Mexico, writes of the dark night as one who has gone through it herself, like John of the Cross:

“The dark night descends on a soul only when everything else has failed. When you are no longer the best meditator in the class because your meditation produces absolutely nothing. When prayer evaporates on your tongue and you have nothing left to say to God. When you are not even tempted to return to a life of worldly pleasures because the world has proven empty and yet taking another step through the void of the spiritual life feels futile because you are no good at it and it seems that God has given up on you, anyway.

“This, says John, is the beginning of blessedness! This is the choiceless choice when the soul can do nothing but surrender. Because even if you cannot sense a shred of the Beloved’s love for you, even if you can scarcely conjure up your old passion for him, it has become perfectly clear that you are incapable of doing anything on your own to remedy your spiritual brokenness. All efforts to purge your unspiritual inclinations have only honed the laser of attention on the false self. Unwilling to keep struggling, the soul finds itself surrendering to its deepest inner wound and breathing in the stillness there.

“The only action left to the soul, ultimately, is to put down its self-importance and cultivate a simple loving attention toward the Beloved. That’s when the Beloved takes over and all our holy intentions vaporize. That’s when the soul, says John, is infused passively with his love. Though his radiance is imperceptible to the faculty of the senses and invisible to the faculty of the intellect, the soul that has allowed itself to be empty can at last be filled and overflow with him.”

From Mirbai Starr’s introduction to her translation of Dark Night of the Soul
by John of the Cross

finding me ..

i often wonder at my profuse use of personal pronouns in my writing
and then i remind my self that the intention of the blog is to present ' my musings as a disciple seeking balance on the way to centre in Jesus ' ..
so then, forgive the personal viewpoint and my intentional ( lazy ? ) lack of references to the words of others ..

speaking of which .. the following is today's entry in my journal, in part

my quest to understand my self is all too human, i suppose

i like to think it is driven by an underlying desire to grow into God

whether or not it is in fact so is another issue - got to keep reminding my self that i tend to deceive my self, and must be wary of lying to me

also, from another direction, the key to understanding who i really am lies in looking at my self through the eyes of God, who is ' not a man that he should lie '

only and solely by moving my inward quest outward to an upward quest, into the realms of my spirit ascending towards Spirit God will i ever uncover and encounter my true motives, desires and thinking ..

my delving into me must be cultured by and open to the wind of God, blowing through me, leading my spirit where it will, clearing cobwebs, dispersing long-fallen leaves, now rotting, bringing newness, freshness, clarity, infusing energy for spirit eyes to see new vistas of God on my way to God

unless i allow me to see the image of me in the eyes of God, i fail

i will be caught in a cycle of ' i think ' to my conclusion, followed by a rethink of ' i think ' to some other conclusion ..

not that there is no process, no rethinking; but the end of that, the telos, must be implicit through it all: to see me as God sees me

help me, Master Jesus, to, like you, be in constant communion with God, even when i'm not actively, consciously doing it

to be there like breathing is there, like heartbeat is there

just being there

me in you and you in God and God in me and in you and you in me

blessed are the destitute ..

it's an unfortunate truth
often it's when we are dislodged from our safety that we are open to godness
in our human frailty, within the security of our fragile fences, we think we have a future, losing sight of reality, trading it for realty and career and wealth and ..

the real reality lies within,
inside, in our heart where the substance of me is, where there is no pretense when i look in the mirror to me, knowing i am who i am

to find that 'me' involves a denial of who i am seen to be, even to my own self, the person we often display to those on the outside, and too a denial of my true self, the person i really am on the insiide

mine is to become destitute of all reliance on stuff, and to open me to the Divine, freed, completely reliant on God for all i am and am to be, walking the Way of Jesus, single-eyed

it may well be that those who are not only ' poor in spirit ' but also poor in wealth have a one-up on those of us who have
it may well be that, in their poverty, they are more open to the speaking and singing and dancing of God, as he woos us, than i am
not to say a hungry belly is a desirable thing ( although there is the value of fasting for spiritual growth ), or that having to panhandle is in any way to be sought-after ( although there is the example of Francis of Assisi ), but it calls me to wonder if perhaps in their physical need a person is not somehow closer to the real God than we are in our cathedrals, as they stare upwards from their hiddenness under a bush or bridge into starry space at night, wondering if they will survive into whatever dreadness tomorrow holds
that sort of living drives us to the brink of our mortality, challenging the facades we were born into and educated for

strip me, o Lord, of all the ropes and handrails and things i hold on to as i climb through life
cause me, in my wealth and satiety, to be destitute in spirit, relying only on you, leaning hard on your Spirit to ground me, guide me, and to cut through the distractions that cling to my boots as i walk your Path

and bless the poor and the needy, those that mourn, those stricken in this life, deprived somehow
may their poverty and deprivation be a doorway to you
and meet them in their neediness, please; relive their hurtness ..
use me in their destitution
give me opportunities, and open my eyes and my heart

excellent read

http://reknew.org/2014/09/doing-the-kingdom-not-voting-it-in/?utm_source=Website+Signup&utm_campaign=0d4a71a312-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_0de6226b5c-0d4a71a312-48866665

living on borrowed time ..

living on borrowed time ..

i lean on you
   hard
all my weight
all my power
all my will
all my desire

help me to

i want to be in your vortex
i want to be overpowered by your love
i want to be single-eyed
i want to be ' fanatical '
i want to be dead
   only you moving me

help my unbelief

i am living on borrowed time  
time is not mine
the lot of us humans is dreaded death
but i don't know that i'm afraid
i dont know ..
i see it as getting to be with Jesus

redeem the time, then
make it expensive
each hour a costly purchase

balance
find rest
respite
sabbath ..
solely for the purpose of generating the energy to eat you, drink you
to be you
you
in me
me
in you
you

you

i lean on you
   hard

i want to be you
you to be me

i love you

broken world, broken body ..

during my survey of news on the internet today, i reposted several items of interest 

surveying the items i reposted left me somewhat distressed

is it just that i am drawn to the 'bad' stuff ?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bernardhenri-levy/the-big-chill-facing-fran_b_5849382.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/20/mediterranean-refugees_n_5843372.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/20/mentally-ill-inmates-solitary_n_5855164.html

there are 3 items

sick

we are all very very sick people in a badly broken world that lies well outside the intention of the person that created it

and we are lost

we don't know where we are or where we're going

a couple  things stand out too me

- we care little for the other humans that inhabit this planet and that will inhabit this planet; the main reason $$$$, in particular, US$; the other reason being religion; and far too often the two are connected at the navel

- we refuse to admit humans outside-the-box, treating the mentally ill, the refugee, the homeless, the poor, the disabled, the 'other' religious as inferior and deserving of punishment somehow

the violence against our fellowhuman and the creatures that populate our world is deplorable, and well beneath any claim to be 'human'

we are sick

.... . . 

once upon a time a god entered our world, became a human, lived here and suffered at the will and hands of the very ones he created, in the very world he created, while trying to show us what life should be

his was a broken end, his body broken for us, in an attempt to reboot our think, reset our worldview

that man sits today, waiting, watching, working along with those of us that choose to follow his lead, to undo some of the mess, bring healing and hope and rainbow to whatever town or city we live and move around in

looking to us to be the changeup

looking to us

awesome thought

staggering, really

Jesus looking to us to be the change Godward ?

how can that be ?

it is

he is

we are the hope

simply put, until and unless we get off our religious butts and live-out the religion we say we subscribe to, God will do little

for God has, for some reason, determined that he will work through us

he will use the weak, the despised, the rejects, the 'nothings' to change the world

i am weak despised reject nothing

i want to be used in whatever way he sees fit

i want to do it out of my nothingness for his glory

for the love he wants from me

the love he wants for this world

for my neighbourhood

for the least and the greatest in my purview

they are my fellowhuman friends, the ones i am to love

and until i open myself to that and do the love he asks of me

i am a nothing of a different sort, useless

i remember well the terminology used in the opening chapters of Genesis during the creation narrative

i remember God saying " let us make human in our image, like us " ..

do we get that ?

if we do, then we begin to see God in the faces and eyes of those we see

even the least of these

even the mentally ill

the addicted

the poor and homeless

the violent

the hateful

the murderer

.. .

mine is to be open to every person i meet, merciful and unjudging in my approach, loving always

loving always

if God could allow his human body to be broken, his blood spilled, out of love for us

who am i to think otherwise of my own life

peace

and love

single ..

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy [single] your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
   [ Matthew 6.22 ff ]

No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy [single] your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness. See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness. Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light on you.
   [ Luke 11 33 ff ]

interesting bibical word, ' single ' ..
it has to do with 'whole', or 'sound', maybe a glint of 'mature', sorta like when a master of the wines approves a particular batch as 'ready' - it has arrived at its desired character.
Jesus' words here messed with my head, the way he put it.

i'm thinking 'shalom'
i'm trying to find the link between shalom and single ..

i admit i may be off on this: i see 'single' as a reference to focused, in your zone, following hard on the thing you've been called to
spiritually, it's a fixation on Jesus and his  leading, and being the follower i should be

out of that evolves singleness of lifeview - life becomes extremely simple and uncluttered

it's a consummation; we're consumed with it, as if hardly anything else matters
other things almost seem to be distractions
and some things become downright tedious and feel like a waste
sadly, some things load stress, amounting to anti what-you're-about
it becomes so that 'stress' earned in the pursuit of your calling seems ok, kind of, compared to the stress from the other life-things

we run from the concept of 'consumed', especially as it relates to relationships - the psych will tell you it's unhealthy
thing is, we're not talking about a lover here, but about Jesus, rabbi
and he taught singleness
he even went as far as to say that if we don't 'hate' mother and father we can't follow him !
that's tough
that is very hard to swallow
if you want to follow me, everything else must almost seem to be negotiable, disposable, discountable - distractions
Jesus wants all of us, everything, nothing excluded; we must be consumed by him

that could be a hard thing for some people in your circle to accept - they think you're a nut, going ( gone? ) crazy; they may even think you a fool

but you .. you have to do what your heart says
nothing else matters, or matters little
you're consumed
single

does that mean i hate my mother, or disrespect her ? absolutely not
Jesus is using hyperbole, common in his culture ..
but the point is well-made by him, " if you want to be my disciple, deny your self and pick up your cross every day, and then follow me "
what esle could that be but total immersion .. what else indeed
either all-in or not in at all
disciple
focused
telescoped
tunnelvisioned
single
it changes your entire life, like a lamp put on a lampstand to light the whole room so that anyone coming in can see
' when you eye is single your whole body is also full of light, like candlelight lights your space '

one of the prophets of old said God's word was like an unquenchable fire inside him, and he had to get it out before it consumed him in its hotness
it's like that, kinda
consumed
singleminded
in your zone
moving in that direction and nothing and noone is going to detract us from that
single
doing shalom

Jesus wants us to fix our eyes on what his call is for us, and to pursue that wholeheartedly

there is nothing left
so that when you sing 'all to jesus i surrender', it's not a lie, or a wish; it's the solid truth of who you now are

single, the core of you
cenetred

..

clarify
simplify
balance
center

crucified

" i am crucified with Christ, and yet I'm alive ..
but it's not me .. it's Christ that's alive in me
and the life I live now in this body I live through faith in Messiah Jesus, son of God, who loves me, and has given himself for me. "

" .. I rejoice in what I am suffering for you,
and I fill up in my body what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions,
for the sake of his Body, which is the church. "

the words of apostle paul

..  .  . 

we're reared and schooled to be successful in this world, success being defined as wealthy and secure, housed and mobile, tech-savvy, moving among the up-and-up, revering the movie stars and musicians and sportsters, aiming for comfortable retirement ..

there are some themes that recur in these blog posts, thoughts that will not go away,
among them, the upside-down philosophy of Jesus that looks to move us upwards, through the stratosphere, allowing us to look back at life on this Earth, maybe see things from God's view, through  faith ..
another persistent theme is the sobering role of suffering in this life ..
two seemingly opposing views
two horns of the same animal, a spiritual outlook in the midst of a suffering world ..
to be balanced somehow

. . . . . ....  -|-

as to the suffering ..
in this age of pump-up and prosperity ' gospel ', the concept of suffering simply seems morose almost
who wants to hang out there, dwell on that ?
why add to the depression and failure-mindedness, the sickness and distress and debilitating stress ?

...... ..

there came a day in the life of Israel when the promised Promise Land became a reality after decades of suffering want, and wandering and war ..
God brought them home
as that became a reality, God warned them - he told them to beware that when they settled and built their homes and raised their families in peace and planted their crops and dug their wells that they didn't forget him, their liberator from Egypt and sustainer in the wilderness
their security could well become a stumbling block to dependence on God, their creator

somehow we don't get it
still
for some reason we gravitate to the wealth and security thingy, the independent kings and queens of our own castles

and then .. we see Jesus, who, for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame of it all, and is now set at the right hand of God, as our faithful advocate and defender ..

for the joy that was set before him ..
the cross

wealth/security/bigup
suffering and death
those are two vastly different mindsets - worlds apart
.... ..

we live in bodies, bodies that link our souls to this world, through which we experience life in the here-and-now..
sometimes - actually most of the time - our bodies lead
our senses drive our soul
our spirit follows

if there's anything Jesus preached/taught/lived it was complete, persistent, perpetual dependence on the Father, minute-by-minute
he lived that, Word that he was, humanized for the reconciliation of the cosmos, made in the likeness of sinful flesh ..
he lived that
spirit leading, body and soul in tow
with that as his foundation, Jesus healed, fed, overruled nature, and spoke the wisdom of the Ageless ..
and he promised something : if we mortals ( like he was { though he was not 'mere mortal } ) assimilate that, make it our own base-motivation, we could do greater things than he did .. we could move mountains ..
out of our own suffering, maybe ..
for the suffering

move mountains .. ??
feed starving people
clothe the naked
heal the sick
drive out demons
face the imperialistic powers-that-be
.. love our enemies

we could do that ..

we
could
do
that

i

.. . . .  .

there's something within us that says, when we're settled and secure, we are safe and don't need anyone or anything
" i got this "

Jesus disses that mindset in his own life
if he does, who on Earth am i to think i got anything ??

that's where suffering comes in
it disables us
sweeps the footings downriver
knocks the breath out
leaves us on our backs, gazing upward, staring long into the deep lightblue above
wondering
totally vulnerable
nothing inbetween us and eternity
remembering that we are but dirt, mere mortals in the face of a massive universe that will be there after we're gone from this world

there is where we do the real
there is precisely where we plumb the depths of who we are
and maybe see the face of God
maybe begin to see the face of God in our own reflection, albeit dimly

i have made nothing
i have created nothing
i have built nothing enduring
i am
simply

i am

my only recourse, if i were to be real with my self, is to strip naked before my maker, before whom all is stripped away anyway
bare my heart
relinquish my hold on me
disengage my own version of game-of-thrones
step down from my dais
and rely totally on my creator in the face of Jesus, my master ..

and sometimes suffering helps me get to that place

... .  .   .

when Apostle Paul said he was filling-up in his own body what was lacking in the afflictions on Christ's body, for the Body of Christ ..
what could that mean ?
bugs me

something was lacking in the suffering of Messiah Jesus ?
something left to suffer for ?
apparently
seems that in the very madness of suffering this world lives under every day, there is a call to suffer, and to die, every day

somehow mine is to bear in my body and my soul the marks of a life devoted to God, following rabbi Jesus ..
whatever the cost, the damage to me matters little in the cosmic scenario, in the eternal age ( as it did to him )
the kingdom of God is everything
following Jesus is simply all there is that's worth anything in this life
period
.

.. . .

recently some people diss'ed the work of mother teresa, claiming her motivation was to encourage suffering as some sort of penance, a roman catholic concept of ages past ( and maybe current in some circles ), not only in her personal life, but also in the lives of those around her, including the impoverished children of calcutta
regardless of the truth-content of that claim, i find it hard to dismiss a woman that gave her life for those children, for she followed the counsel of Jesus himself, the true gospel

most of the world suffers
we simply don't internalize that; we see it on the tele and walk away, past it, into our leveraged-to-the-hilt house
maybe a wince at the photo of the child dying from starvation, the woman sleeping on the snow-covered street, the slave children working long hours for nexttonothing, the girl selling her body for a fix, the people running en masse away from the violence, the murder, the war
maybe a wince ..

.. . . .. -|-

in my own understanding of the christian scriptures, Jesus internalized all the sins of humanity, bearing them in his body on that cross
becoming the sinner
paying off the debt humanity owed to the Usurper
delivering us all from our enslavement and bondage, and providing hope amidst our fear of death ..
that was suffering, such suffering that we could never ever understand,
 ... . .  .

we lose our home
   maybe become homeless
our marriage fails
we don't get that job we need so badly, and the children suffer
we become ill
we become depressed
a close one dies
or commits suicide
more and more the threat of poverty and homelessness threatens us all as the world sinks into a new divide between the rich and the poor, which may well catch up to me one day
or you ..

when we find ourselves on the floor, beating our fists into the wood, crying out to whatever god there is out there
is precisely when we approach the God who is out there
maybe like we've never done before
and although it's a horror to be in such condition, truth is God's been waiting for us to acknowledge him
if this madness, this deathly illness or accident, takes us past the $-signs and walks us out of our throne room, then God will take that, gladly
he loves us that much
he is not the cause of our suffering, but he welcomes the opportunity to see the colour of our eyes as we gaze upward in need

suffering becomes our opportunity to touch the divine as we never have before .. .

hopefully we learn that, experience that

as a wise person once said, those of us that have ears to hear should listen ..


' there is more in the new testament about the suffering of the church than any other single theme or issue of ecclesiology ' .. Douglas John Hall

' the Christian faith in its established form has been so conspicuously devoid not only of any sustained suffering but of the very contemplation of that biblical theme ' DJH

peace to you

quoted #6

moving mountains ..

Jesus once said " if you have faith the size of a mustard seed you'll be able to say to this mountain ' move from here to there ' , and it will move "

me, being the tend-to-be-literal bible reader, thinks a mountain you can climb, that stands above, from where you can see afar ..
but then i see other ' mountains ' , ones that stand far taller, that look unclimbable, out of reach ..
move that ?

move that addiction
remove that obstacle in this relationship
move my mind into a new space
   where i can see from up there rather than down here
move those granite roadblocks on my road towards the homeless hurt

move .. me ?

maybe Jesus, being the genuine human, seeing things from that perspective, Godview serving as the root of his worldview, was more pointing to the mountains that would loom large in my life as fallen human in fallen world

maybe the root of my mountainphobia is my lessthanmustardseed faith

i need those mountains to move

i need that faith

master, I believe
help my unbelief ..

what if . ... ..

what if
we focus on single eye
   lighting our entire being out of darkness
   lighting our world
      and now we see
         [ luke 11.33 ff ]

what if
the Head gets to lead
   the Body led
   into our world
      and change Headward

what if
i be the disciple i profess
   singleeyed lighted seeing
   led into change
      all else secondary
      all
         let others go do their thing
         me what i see through my singleeye
            my part
               not what others expect/require/demand
            singleyed

what if
i do
others do
   we all singleeyeing
      i's singleeyed
         doing the Headled change
            not the secondaries
   maybe just maybe
      all those singleeyed i's addup to one
      attached to the Head
         led
            in unison
         onward toward
            kingdom

what if ..