and then i remind my self that the intention of the blog is to present ' my musings as a disciple seeking balance on the way to centre in Jesus ' ..
so then, forgive the personal viewpoint and my intentional ( lazy ? ) lack of references to the words of others ..
speaking of which .. the following is today's entry in my journal, in part
my quest to understand my self is all too human, i suppose
i like to think it is driven by an underlying desire to grow into God
whether or not it is in fact so is another issue - got to keep reminding my self that i tend to deceive my self, and must be wary of lying to me
also, from another direction, the key to understanding who i really am lies in looking at my self through the eyes of God, who is ' not a man that he should lie '
only and solely by moving my inward quest outward to an upward quest, into the realms of my spirit ascending towards Spirit God will i ever uncover and encounter my true motives, desires and thinking ..
my delving into me must be cultured by and open to the wind of God, blowing through me, leading my spirit where it will, clearing cobwebs, dispersing long-fallen leaves, now rotting, bringing newness, freshness, clarity, infusing energy for spirit eyes to see new vistas of God on my way to God
unless i allow me to see the image of me in the eyes of God, i fail
i will be caught in a cycle of ' i think ' to my conclusion, followed by a rethink of ' i think ' to some other conclusion ..
not that there is no process, no rethinking; but the end of that, the telos, must be implicit through it all: to see me as God sees me
help me, Master Jesus, to, like you, be in constant communion with God, even when i'm not actively, consciously doing it
to be there like breathing is there, like heartbeat is there
just being there
me in you and you in God and God in me and in you and you in me
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