the death of me ..

when i ever dare to gaze at the cross of horror
   that place where the pristine Son of Humanity was tortured
i cannot find it in me to tarry long ..
i run to hide ..

while we have adorned that cross
   embellished it with gems, encased it in gold
   as if it were some glorious thing
my mind whirls in disgusting dread
   almost disbelief
as i reel in confused rage at the utter injustice
   the sheer madness of it

there is no 'wondrous cross' for me
although there is wonder in me
   a strange unable-to-comprehend how the creator of the universe
   could become human and then allow such abuse on himself
   on his body, on his soul ..
and too there is the place he became all the sin of all the world
and was forsaken by God
   the God with whom he had shared his being

i run
i hide
bury my mind as the thought tears ..
ignoble end for an utterly noble life
life of pure human in all of its wonderful potential
imago Dei released for all the world to see
   to wonder
   to gaze
   to covet
..

no, the cross for me is not a wonderful thing
it is a haunting
   in all its ragged raw roughness
stretching the sinews of my soul to tearing
compressing lungs .. can hardly breathe
pounding heart, powerful death-beat
bleeding out

while i didn't die there
i die there
and die, and die
..

the flesh of me must often be crucified
   often
so the spirit of me can rise
   come down from that cross
      dragging its flesh behind
..

cross
   place of shame
      his shame
      my shame
   of sorrow
   of lament
   of utter nakedness

i run
i hide

invariably i return
just here
to crucify my self
   again

awful it is
   that cross
      place of my disgrace
      place of grace
..

when i share in the Bread and Cup
i remind me he said to remember him in his death ..
   his death

the Table of community finds unity in remembering the death of Jesus
   remember the horror
   recall the abuse
   rebaptize in the blood
bleed out
.. and remarkably be born afresh

                     astonishing thought ..
..

yes
there is victory in that place
but a victory often shrouded in darkness
in death


`|`
go with God

the samaritan in me ? ..

Christian rode like the wind
he knew that if those dark ugly clouds decided to drop their load he would be soaked, and too his laptop and the few groceries in his backpack
it was late and he just wanted home
..

aaaghhh!!
he hit down hard
very hard
his head took on a piecce of road and everything went numb
mumbled and all jumbled into a thousand pieces of light and sound and think ..
.. so even though he recognized he was being kicked and hit over and over like to never stop, it was almost like a dream
almost ..
and then pure black
..
someone had jumped out of the roadside bush right in front of his bike, hands flailing, and all he could (not) think to do was swerve

they beat him
badly
they wanted him out while they took his stuff

..

the rain did fall
it washed away some blood but some red water still stood still close by
..

some time later Preacherman drove that piece of road
it was quite dark by then and his lights hit on Christian's limp form ..
he slowed
cautiously
opened the window and scrunched his eyes in an effort to see as he got closer ..
he recognized the human body, saw there was no movement ..
quickly he scanned the area where his carlights shone, looking right left rearview mirror ..
nothing
and nothing near the body save a stout stick

he imagined the person had either been hit by an automobile or beaten ..
probably beaten, badly too, he reckoned
" he's probably dead ..
i'd better be gone before they come back .. jump me!"
he paused for a second, maybe 3
and then accelerate .. "outa here!"

..

twentsomething minutes later another car
Theo the Bibleman almost had to swerve to miss the body .. he'd been thinking on a comment some self-righteous idiot had made on one of Theo's recent blog posts, and he wasn't totally focused ..

he stopped the Audi, stared into the rearview, then shifter to R to bring up the reverse screen on the dash ..

nothing moving

he reversed till he was across from the body ..
"blood .. and a bloodied stick .. no movement .. this dude's dead! .."

he checked the mirror again, looked around as best he could .. no sign of life anywhere, no car lights ..

"I'm gone! Outa here!"

..

it rained again

.. lights ..
Christian's eyes were still closed, but the light penetrated his eyelids enough to ignite his brain ..
he barely opened his eyes, then immediately shut them tight .. light too bright ..
he tried to move .. his right leg complied, barely

the car slid to a stop and he heard a door open
the lights were full-on, blinding
someone stepped into the light, crossed over
then again, this time silhouetting ..

"hey .. can you hear me? .."

then he was being examined, head, neck, arms, legs ..
and Christian's lights went out again
..

the door opened and Christian turned too sharply .. ugh!
he'd only been awake .. what? a few seconds? a minute? 10?

a woman crossed over to his bed .. " you're awake .. good!"

he mumbled some jumbled thing or other as she put her hand on his forehead and then took his pulse ..

he had soup that day
later he drank juice and spooned gobs of peanut butter into his starving mouth
"wow .. never been this hungry."
..

when Christian was confident enough to open his mouth wthout saying something stupid he asked the nurse how he'd come to be in the hospital, and how long he'd been here, and what happened, and did he say anything stupid ..
she said someone had brought him in 3 days ago, in his arms .. "like no stretcher nor nuthin' .. crazy."
said he'd found Christian in the road out by Holy Creek ..
she said he'd been beaten badly
amazing he lived through it
his head had taken a couple blows, hard blows .. "only God's mercy.."

"who?"
"who?" she asked
"who brought me here?"
"Never saw the guy. Alls i know is he signed the papers 'Hussein Muslim' ..
and he left money for your treatment .. crazy .. who does that?"

..
.. . .... . .. .. .. . . . .    .........   ..     .

one day an expert in theology looked to test Jesus
"Rabbi .. what should i do to inherit eternal life?"
..
"well .. what does the holy Law say?"
"love the Lord God with all your heart and soul and strength and mind, and love your neighbour as yourself."
"absolutely", Jesus said ..

but the theologian looked to justify himself, so he said "and who exactly is my neighbour?" ..
and Jesus told a story
about Christian
and Preacherman
and Theo
and Hussein Muslim
..
and when he'd finished Jesus asked the expert " which of the three d'you think was neighbour to that man?"
".. the one that helped him i suppose .."
"absolutely .. now, go and love like that."

..

there are other versions to the story
the original that Jesus told involved a hated smaritan and 2 jews - a priest and a levite, both holymen in their religion
but we can readily (?) substitute for the samaritan ..
the refugee in europe, or america
the black in the south, or the city
the homosexual, or the lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender
the addict, or the drunk
the homeless, or the poor
that woman that had an abortion
the man recently released from jail
the whoever-we-scapegoat to justify us/me

who then is my/our neigbour?

..

and Jesus looked at me and said "now go, and love like that .. "

full disclosure ..

in order for you to understand why i blog here, i think it might be worth articulating a few things


- i'm a christian
even though i tend not to swim among all the other fish in the christian waters, i am a follower of Jesus and look to reflect that
- the reason i don't often reflect the current trend in chriatianity, nor some of the historical orthodoxy, is personal : my particular journey has led me on this path, and i look to follow it to wherever it may lead
- i haven't tallied, but i daresay my posts are split pretty evenly between discipleship posts designed to encourage whoever, and posts critical of western christianity, designed to cause us to think about what we're doing rather than simply following the person in the pulpit or the popular christian take on whatever
- i have no theological qualifications
- i am not a citizen of the US. however whatever theology I have for the greater part is US theology, and as the US leans, so the entire world leans where Christianity is concerned. point being, when my posts reflect a US/western concern, it is a world concern, generally speaking
- although God may correct me on this, i do not blog with the express intention of offending anyone. my intention is to cause me/us to think about who we are, what we do, and why. it arises from a life of taking what was said from the pulpit and written in the theologies as 'gospel' rather than finding out for myself what i believe and why. i chose to blog on some of that personal journey in the off-chance that someone else may be thinking or questioning along those lines, and maybe something in the blog might be of help ..
having said that, there are some whom i understand will be offended, especially since some of what i say is pointed.. this category basically resides in the leadership of the church, whom i am willing to take on for 2 reasons. 1. Jesus did. regularly and blatantly. in fact they were the only ones he took on like that 2. as overseers of Christ's church they are responsible for the spiritual wellbeing of us sheep; there is probably no greater responsibility than that ; to misrepresent God and/or misdirect people has to be seen as a most serious offense
.. having said that .. who the hell am i to call them out .. ?
so, if i have offended anyone here it certainly wasn't a personal attack ..
finallly, if i were to take the position that i can't express anything here that could offend someone somewhere .. i guess i wouldn't be blogging
- finally, (spoiler alert) i'm human. that means i'm quite imperfect. in fact, as i've said before, i must consider myself to be the chief of sinners, or i refute apostle Paul and unrighteouly overestimate me (and i'd be flat-out lying) ; i try to do that. and along this line, i may say things or point out things in others that may reflect a fault/weakness/sin in my self = hypocrite. please know that what i say in this blog is always said with a very large finger pointed at my self, square in my own face, calling me out first. at least i try to ..

i hope that some of this 'discolsure' has helped you understand a bit more of who i am and why i'm here

peace to you
and love
in Jesus' name

imago Dei - affinity and original sin ..

our greatest failure may be failing to recognize who we are ..

`|`

and God said " let's make humans ! let's make them like us, to be like us "
   icons of Godbeing
   idols designed to show and reflect Godhood
..

" hey .. did God really say you can't eat the fruit ? "
..
the Lord had commanded " you can eat freely of any of the fruit in the garden, but don't eat any from that tree, the tree of knowing-good-and-evil .. if you do you will die "

`|`

two trees had been planted there by God - the tree that gives life, and the tree that brings death

how do we suppose those humans knew what death was .. ?
nothing in this 'good' creation had ever experienced death

and too life - doesn't an understanding of life imply a knowledge of what death is ? or at least an explanation ?

the same could be said of evil and good
without some understanding, however obtained, of evil, how were they to comprehend its pervasive cancerous spread, infecting all that good creation with death and its horrific bondage, from which Jesus set us free ( Rom. 8.21; Hb 2.14 )

`|`

the challenging difference was the allowance of the one and the restriction of the other ..
the restriction was quite unique, for everything else was allowed ..

the real challenge for the humans was in recognizing their affinity to the friend that frequented their garden home in the cool of the day and conversed with them ( Gen 3.8-10 )
   an affinity they had with none other of the created order
   an affinity He ( the preincarnate Christ ) had with none other of the created order ..
and not only recognize this, but embrace it as uniquely privileging, for they were quite like the Creator ..

in their failure, slyly greased by the engaging slippery serpent, they had ' decided ' that their privilege ( which extended beyond the physical and encompassed at least some other characteristics, and which allowed for the Creator's endowment of governance over the pristine Earth to them ) was insufficient ..
somehow they were being deprived, cheated, and the restriction of the Tree was unjust ..
they deserved better
their friend was being unfairly secretive, cordoning-off their rightful inheritance ..
they had been lied to

`|`

in doing The Deed they did not undo their inherent status of ' imago dei ' ..
rather they soiled the image of God among the cosmos, adding immeasurable weight to the only other instance of such recorded for us - the insurrection of Lucifer, the Angel of Light, the Satan, the nefarious serpent ..

the images of God, apparently unique cosmic creatures, had denied their God in whose image they were, and rebelliously taken the side of the Accuser .. against God

the predicted result was forthcoming
the human story dramatically turns as they are barred from eating of the other Tree, the Tree of Life, to which they had enjoyed unfettered access .. until now

`|`

perhaps this Tree of Life represented the unique ' space ' in which the humans and Creator comingled in their affinity .. it was the ground of their unioning, the shared experiencing of each other progressively through regular engagement in the cool of the day, strolling, chatting, hanging out ..

it portrayed the space of their bonding
particularly for the humans whose existence was fresh, whose knowledge was infantile, even though their minds were brilliant in potential, and far more capable of perception and analysis and conclusion and imagination than we could ever imagine ..

to trespass into the space of the other Tree, of knowing-good-and-evil, was a statement: The Deed was a determined preconsidered step into the void of separation, individuation, and disconnect from their Affinity

apparently they considered that they were well able to bear the weight of experiencing evil, while consequently removing themselves from the Life-space they shared with Creator - they figured they could handle things themselves ..
trust, to them, became of lesser value
independence, and the power of the perceived self-determination was too rich a payoff to turn down..

no doubt the tipping-point, the convincing deciding factor was the Dealer, the Satan, who deceitfully turned their Privilege into deprivation, Fool's Gold ..
..

the wages of that transgression was indeed death ( Rom 6.23 ) ..
the resounding historical truth is that sin entered this world scene by the original humans, the original overseers of Earth
and the result was the death of all creation, a progressive decay into rot

additionally, and glaringly ubiquitously, that death-result is experienced by all humanity, for all humanity sins .. every one ( Rom 3.23; Rom 5.12 )

hence the mission of Christ ( in part ) to release humanity from their bondage to death
   “ O death, where is thy sting
     O grave, where is thy victory ? “
thus undoing The Deed in the Garden of Privilege

they lost sight of the innate God-breathed connection with their Creator, and allowed their privilege to sever trust, and to enable the arrogance of questioning God in their heart ( when certainly they could have done that during their daily converse as they strolled together ) and of presuming the status of God ( when they already were uniquely like God ), thereby dismissing the faithfulness of God ..

they undervalued the faithfulness of God
treated it as a common thing ..

sound familiar ?
just so .. precisely what Lucifer, that highly privileged archangel who was ironically tasked with guarding the glory of God, had done

only .. Lucifer had not been created in the image and likeness of Creator ..
you judge whose transgression was the greater ..

`|`

sin has made a mockery of Original Image, veiling it behind a theology of Original Sin

to be sure our progenitors failed, miserably so
but the blindness .. the utter darkness that covers our deep
that deprives us of the true Original


we are the imago Dei
and God has all this time been working at the unveiling, the recovery of our sight, the recognition of who we are and of our inheritance as adopted children ..

that grand recognition undoes the pervasive blight of our sick world, releases the powerful truth that allows us to see through stained glass clearly ..
by faith

that God is fully committed to redemptive recognition is seen most clearly in the Cross and in the sharing of Godself through God's indwelling spirit

God has resumed conversation with us personally
a wink in the direction of the Garden
a nod in the other direction, towards the kingdom, where we shall again eat freely of the Tree of Life which lines the river that flows out of God's throne, and where we shall reign with the Lord Christ

`|`

perhaps our greatest failure is failing to recognize who we are
drowning as we are in this present darkness

`|`

but the veil has been rent asunder
the light, that Glorious Light, has come into the world to show us God in all God's loving splendour, arms extended in welcome invitation - “Come. Sit at my table with me. Eat. Drink. Let's talk.“ ..
children of the King in open communion with the God Who Lives, the God of our Image

the embracing of that truth is the beautiful and wonderfilled entrance into kingdom life now, here, in between the happening and the not-yet happened, between the faith-reality of now and the realized reality of the kingdom in fullness when God will dwell with us, here, on Earth, and be our god and we God's people
in peace
in original communion
..

when we release the veiling of original sin and unleash the original image, our createdness in Christ, veritable image of God, we with unveiled faces reflect the glory of the Lord by the spirit of God ( 2Cor. 3.18 ), and God becomes all, in all

we are the image-bearers of God
ours is to know this and honour God's majesty by fairly reflecting that Image ...
image recovered

`|`

we, as Original Images, have allowed ' Original Sin ' to misdefine us

and original images we all are

that ' all ' loosens a few binding-cords in my historic theology ..
..

in my revised theology, we are born into this world as Godimages – pure, untainted, innocent
but the world, having been utterly affected by sin, we are immediately influenced at every turn, and soon learn the brokenness of the images and systems around us ..
everything nudges us in the direction of disconnection from Creator God
our image becomes veiled
we stray from the Image ..
all of us experience this disconnect

the mission of God is to unveil the images that we are so we can recognize God and recognize who we are

the primary means of that unveiling is God's unveiling Godself to us through the advent of Jesus
we look at Jesus to see what God looks like as human-imaged ..

Jesus perfectly imaged God
and that imaging we recognize precisely because here is God become human, like us ..
and the recognition inverts ..
God recognized Godself in the human being
now we as human recognize God in human as God
and we recognize God in us .. .

we see the perfect imaging of God
and our Godimage sparks recognition
and there is reconnect

`|`

Rohr quotes Merton as follows :
“ At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a pointer or spark which belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal .. this little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God in us. It is so to speak [God's] name written in us .. It is in everybody, and if we could see it we would see these billions of points of light coming together . .. “

`|`

so then, we all are Godimages, and we all lose the purity of that image in this world

ours is to respond to the recognition and affinity we have with God, and allow God to gradually unveil our blindness as we focus on Jesus
as we look at Jesus we are transformed into his image, which is the Image of God, which is the image of God in us

and the two great commandments come to life
love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength
love your neighbour as yourself
   even the neighbour you don't like or that doesn't like you
   even my enemy

`|`

the key is not Original Sin

it lies in Original Image
Original Affinity

it lies in the recognition of God in me
in every ' me '