hear ye ! hear ye !

i'm doing my usual detox thingy this morning ..
there's been less of it recently, and that's not good - i need it
introversion is what it is, and calls for careful management - mostly the determination to carve-out spaces where i'm anonymous, even though i be in a crowded room, a busy coffeeshop, a frontstreet ..
translation .. alone-time
fail that and all is at risk

it's a challenge at times
some folk translate it into meekness and reticence - weakness, basically
some see it as fear
some merely don't consider it, just use it
for their own means
..   .   .

it's not tough to step on me
i'm there
and in the open, much more so than i like

. . . .    ...

my intention is to coopt Matthew 5-8
and to live out the great commission:
to love my God with all i am
and to love my neighbour as much as i am

in the doing of that there is much that would distract and deflect
that aims to sideline, to render ineffective
both the powers that be in this world, and in the world of the spiritual

the issue then is to find the means to ducky-it
duckying-it is a state of mind that says ' i am a duck; it will roll off  ', taught me a few years ago by a good friend ( i still have that yellow ducky hanging from my backpack; a click and it sings 'quack-quack' )

i suppose there are different ways to do that, depending on who you are
mine is to distract my self by interneting and by reading and by photography and by hangin' with my pard, the dude, Master Kruz
there is a positive ( as opposed to distractory ) side to that too: immersing my self more and more in scripture, and in reading potentially insightful thoughts on Godness and the Man Jesus Messiah and being a follower ..
my think is, the more i head towards originality in Jesus ( perfected human ), the more i head towards perfected human, and there is at least one writer who believes the intention of justification is precisely that: humanity made right

i suppose the older i become, the more plain-sighted and simplistic my thinking
and, too, i'm in a position where i have only my self and my dog to care for, so that leaves much room for more dedicated involvement in the lives of hurting people, on the ground, here, now

i'm not into empires, even the religious sort
or agendas, even the spiritual sort
or politicing, even the christianity sort

i am strictly into follow-the-leader
and there is but one in my life
and i aim, with every ounce of strength, determination, soul, and heart, to follow him
master, lord, rabbi, friend

my pledge to him is to allow noone, of whatever stripe or colour, to distract me from that

it bears noting too that some people will not understand that in some of the ways it plays out
they are confused
or they suspect this or that in your motivations
or they think you're trying to one-up
..
it's a damned sad day when trying to be real to your humanity in Jesus becomes a playing field for slung accusations, and misunderstanding tossed into the fray like some molotov cocktail

let not the explosion and the raging fire dissuade
cling fast to the reality of life in the Man
follow him through it, and, like daniel amidst lions, he will shut the mouth, clench the teeth
you will walk out
walk on
where the Man leads

..  . . .      .

i must, i must remind my self regularly of these things
or i take on the risky potential of being made ineffective in that Man's agenda
and his is the only agenda that matters

my welfare matters little
my success matters not
my friendships and familial relationships pale when portrayed in the light of Jesus' mission ..
as he himself said in the very context of denying self and daily taking my cross, ' if any one loves father or mother or family more than me ( does not 'hate' his family ) he is not worthy of me ' ..
you can mix that up how you will; basically translate into Jesus takes all ..
out of that you will find the passion and energy and motivation for family and friends and such
but dare not lose the priority: for all will suffer then

Jesus is the priority

repeat several times
mantra it

force it into your psyche
make it stick
etched on the walls of your mind, and then on the walls of your heart

in this life i follow a man
the Man, Jesus
i owe allegiance to no other, be it man, religion, denomination, movement - period
Jesus rabbis me
he directs my path
leads me here or there

that may be construed by some as arrogance
perish the thought
my only concern at this stage of my life here on planet earth is to fulfill the calling my Rabbi has on me
to be in constant hearing
constant heeding
bytheminute submission, and that willingly and joyfully
   even in the midst of the madness and drama and hype
that serve to distract
distort
disengage

mine is to be so intensely preoccupied with the move of Jesus in my life
that the rest of it is garbage
so much refuse

" may the peace of the Lord Jesus go with you wherever he may lead you
may he guide you through the wilderness
protect you through the storm
and may he bring you home rejoicing at the wonders he has shown you "

may he
may i

shalom