lying ? ..

until i get to the place where i can look
inside
my
self
and come away saying
my conscience is clear (as per apostle paul)
   at least as much of me as
   i'm willing to be honest about
until then
i have yet to reach that other
place of being able to say i'm following Jesus

'cause if i'm lying to my self
i'm lying
to
him ..

   and he knows it  .   ... . .  ..