engagement .. -|-

i recently posted on prayer
   here http://denyingme.blogspot.com/2014/07/pray.html

another step in that direction ..

back in the day, when moses was the man, there came a time when God said he was done
done with this rebellious, complaining, thankless, hopeless people
israel
it's somewhere along and about Exodus 32
' i'm done ! ' , he says
' i'll destroy them all and begin again with you, moses .. '
like, wow !
really ??
i guess God must really have been peeved
.. yuh think ??

moses, revered among the Jews as the Lawgiver, would have none of it .. . .
just in case you missed that .. moses took God on
face-to-face, so-to-speak
he told God there was no way he could do that
' think about what that would do to your reputation among the nations '
' what kind of a god would that look like - deserting your own people ' ?
or something along those lines .. seriously .. read it

guess what .. God entertained moses' argument
he considered what he had to say
and he changed his mind
actually, if memory serves me correctly, he went another step and told moses to lead them
like, ' ok, i'm done; i won't do that; you can handle it, moses. i'm out '
and moses took him on again
' that's not good enough, Lord
if you're not in, i'm not in
you have to go with me
you have to be there, in this, leading us ' ..

... . . .    .

i was raised in a God-fearing church
you just don't say those things to God
you don't even think it ..
perish the thought !

or ... not

so, i know moses was the man
i know he is highly revered among the Jews
i know he was used by God to humble Egypt, and to lead Israel out of bondage
   ( a consistent theme with God in the Older Testament )
i know
so one might say ' he has more right to say something like that to God ' ..

maybe
or ... not

see, i have this thing that's come to me in recent years, and it's this ..
God wants us to approach him in that manner
he wants us to engage him
passionately
persistently
pounding relentlessly on his door, like that willnotquit woman who refused to let the judge be in peace until he heard her case, gave her satisfaction - Jesus spoke that parable

we want to excuse ourselves of not treating God like he's a real person by refusing to engage him
pretending he's too awe-some to entertain our gripes
too highandmighty for us to approach
he might strike us down with a lightening bolt for our presumption ! ( i used to actually think that )

it's like we're refusing to be real about the God we say we serve
maybe another way we like to talk God, but don't live it
our 'beliefs' are not reflected in our actions
again

but, dare i say, God is quite unlike that
i am convinced that God's desire is for us to treat him like he is a person that can be approached
that he wants to hear me
   not only my ' requests '
   but also my complaints
      my grouses
      my bewilderment and don't-understands and why-is-this-happening to me's ?!

Jesus showed us that God is Dad, Abba
that he wants to relate to us as children
he so desires our relationship
our dependence
our persistent engagement
daily
on-going like

God wants to be wanted
God wants to be needed
God wants to be respected
God wants to be consulted
God wants to be in

he wants to be an integral part of my life
such that when i'm hurt the first place i go is to him
when i'm downhearted, or burdened, or depressed, or confused, or angry, or bewildered, or suicidal, or lost, or forsaken, or lonely ..
when i'm overjoyed, or happy, or excited, or encouraged, or blessed, or just-got-a-job, or found my lover, or the money came in!, or simply enjoying the beauty and smells and tastes of nature

.. i tell him about it
dad-like
like i rush home 'cause i can't wait to tell my mum .. like that
... .. .     .

when i go to other people for their opinion
and leave God out, or leave God to last-recourse ..
fail

when i read books
or watch videos
or dance all around the vegetable garden in anger or frustration to try to solve this or that problem
and, in effect, diss God
that is tantamount to a slap in his face

i am convinced that God wants me to be engaging him

when i can't see how this could be happening !
i've given my life to try to do what it is i think you want
and i'm sooooo lost
   i feel forsaken
   where are you ??!
   why won't you answer ?!
   how can you leave me here like this, God ?!

do it !!
i dare you
i double-dare you

step up to God and tell him precisely what's on your mind and in your heart
and ask him for a response
let God know that he has responsibility in the matter
remind God of who he is and what he has asked of you
and throw your hands up in frustration
demanding a response
' you asked this of me, and now look where i am !
if i've done wrong, if i've offended you, if i've misrepresented you - then tell me !
i will make amends as best i can
but don't just leave me here like this ! '

do it

God wants it from us
he longs for that relationship that smells of sweat and has dirty hands and feet
.. and needs a diaper-change

he can take it, you know
he's God

.. and he's our dad