church is .. .

someone recently asked " so what are you looking for in a church? "
interesting question ..

one thing i know: i've been in and out of churches, like many, and i haven't found church

someone ( else ) told me that i'm looking for a church to suit me .. and i've thought a lot about that ..
¿ am i being arrogant ?
¿ causing division and schism ?
¿ unreasonable ?
¿ individualistic, undoing community ?
those occurrences need addressing in my own mind before i answer that opening question
and i have

see, i'm looking for something kinda like i see in the New Testament, like they way the church moved in the beginning
the motivation
the atmosphere
the direction
the activity
the focus
the presence in the community ..

and if you're of a mind to sit and read about what that was like, you really should look to those documents written in those times, not so much to this blog, or any other blog for that matter, or google, or ..

i mean .. we have the gospels, in a remarkably pristine condition .. remarkably ..
¿ why would you want to read about what's written there when you can google that and read the very documents themselves for yourself ?
think about it ..
it translates into lazy .. sorry ..
like .. i would rather have some famous preacher/teacher tell me what the Bible says than read it for myself ..

someone i know is studying to be a chef
they related an ' unfortunate ' incident when the dough they made, which was well turned-out, fell on the floor, and they had to start all over again, with time escaping rapidly .. and then the second batch wasn't as good as the first batch; they were understandably upset
my response was .. " haaaaaa " ..
how cruel ..
not really ..
unless they understand that life is sometimes mishap and mistake, followed by recovery and plan B and try-again .. and learn to laugh at themselves rather that carve bloody scars on their conscience for their 'stupidity', life will become increasingly desperate ..
the issue is to take the error, the mistake, the screw-up, and learn from it
find yourself
in the process of finding the solution ..
find yourself

point of that is this ..
if you wait for someone to pick up your dough, and hold your hand while you make the second batch .. then you're doing life vicariously, as in through someone else
and that ain't living

¿ similarly, if God has overseen the creation of the christian scriptures, and they have been remarkably preserved to this day .. why on Earth would we have to be spoon-fed when the plate filled with real food sits right there before us ?
why indeed

¿ did i say ' lazy ' ?
like .. i'd rather put in that kind of effort for my job, or my hobby ..
¿ what does that say about me and my ' religion ', my ' faith ', my ' spirituality ', ' my ' christianity ' .. my Jesus ?

peace