everybody needs somebody ..

and then there's johnny ..

in my lifeswing i'm massively trying to undo some of the bullcrap i pulled on people
and on my self
my family bore the brunt of that i think

part of that newlife involves the houseless
and my battlefield is my naive mind

i somehow think things aren't as bad as they seem ..
half the time i don't even know how bad it is

..

noone really wants johnny around
he lives on drugs
sometimes he's so drugged he rides his bicycle into poles and walls
with bloody cuts as his comeuppance, cuts he doesn't even notice

noone really wants johnny around

he's a potentially damaging distraction
he could have negative effects on businesses
he is a perceived threat to schools and the elderly and women and ..

johnny is one of those people people want to just disappear
and noone would miss him
fact is, if anyone ever wondered what became of johnny, they'd probably breathe a sigh of relief

..

way i see it is i need to be jesus to johnny
i'd like him to think there's someone who will talk with him
listen
accept
hang with

that's tough for this judgemental, black/white, proud white christian man to do
but i have to
i have to
or i'm a liar
and i make jesus out to be a liar

i ' have to ' doesn't mean i ' have ' to
it simply means that jesus should be so much in control of my spirit that i see things the way they really are
and that means johnny is me, under different circumstances
if only i'd taken the left fork instead of the right
i could easily be johnny

and johnny is jesus
somewhere there, johnny bears the unmistakable image of God
the imago dei
mine is to find it, recognize it, embrace it

mine is to embrace johnny
even when he smells
when he looks dirty, with black hands and bleeding
when he can't sit still for 1 minute 'cause the drugs won't let him
when he rambles

johnny is me
i am johhny
johnny is jesus-in-hiding

i love johnny
there's no other way really
..

now to convince my self of that .. .   .      .