the " ?'s " . . ..

I'm constantly questioning my self ..
you ?

spiritually
motivations
what do I believe about this or that issue in Christian doctrine
why am I doing the things I'm doing with my life
..  .

i used to run to the biblical condemnation that a double minded person is unstable in all their ways, and then challenge my self to concrete this or that
after all, what kind of faith is it that sports " ?'s "
faith should be grounded, settled, immovable, rock-solid ..

no  ?

.. .  .      .

well, i've grown into the " ?'s " ..

i remember well using a finepoint ball pen, or a 0.5 veryfine in my later years
and those nagging " ?'s " i had gingerly inscribed in the margins of my bibles ..
always with a pause, always bearing it's own " ? " in the doing
almost as if it was desecratory
..
but if ever i got a new bible, those " ?'s " reappeared
dogging me
my demons, challenging my slow brain
my lagging faith
.. why couldn't i settle on what the passage meant ??
.. .

then one day, a well-meaning pastor advised me to stop
he said if one of my children ever saw them it might cause them to think i distrusted my Bible .. .
i let that one slide
i let it gestate a few years .. while i kept putting those dread " ?'s " in the margins
wondering all the while why i was so ' hard ears ' , why i couldn't simply accept the common theology on this or that passage, or why the wording didn't make sense to me ..
.. or perhaps the Spirit was not in my study efforts - as in, left me to get it on my own ..

 . .. .    .

brings me to this ..
last Sunday the discussion revolved around Philippians 2 .. and i got stuck again
same place
again .. .
and then, at bible study we were discussing Christology and guess where we ended-up .. Philippians 2
..... . . .  . .     .

the extraordinary poetic telling of God's descent into humanity and suffering and death, and his subsequent exaltation to the name-above-all-names in the Philippian letter cries for attention ..
at least to me it does ..
it is the core message of scripture, the example to be emulated  - God takes human form, ' the form of a servant ', to reconcile humanity at large, to bring peace and unity to this world, and eventually to the cosmos ..
and apostle paul wants us to take-on that mindset as our own ..
besides being the mindset of Rabbi Jesus, which as his disciple, i am to make mine
unity among the Christ-family is paramount, division and schism to be eschewed at all costs ..
God is one, and the Body of Christ is one ..
unity is key with Paul

in one version it runs like this ..
   .. make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 
   In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!
   Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
  ( philippians 2. 2-11 )

massive statement .. incredible really ..

the part that bothered me is - Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
' used to his own advantage ' ??
as in selfish ?
i used the KJV back then, and it's rendering was - who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
' robbery ' ??
how does that compute  ?
the NRSV renders it, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, ..
' exploited ' ?

what has always bothered me was, how does pre-incarnate Jesus ever think his divinity was something not to be used to his advantage
or exploited
or why would he think it wasn't ' robbery ' ..

i was confounded
for years
didn't fit the context
and context is key ..
using something to his own advantage sounds rather selfish
robbery sounds rather unGodly
exploiting himself sounds rather vain ..
if he's God, he's God - nothing to be exploited or taken advantage of

thing is, the word used is used only one time in scripture, and that makes it doubly troubly
the greek word, according to those in-the-know, carries the thought
' robbery '
' something to be grasped, or seized '
' spoil (as in the spoils of war), an object of eager desire, prize '
.. . . .      .

my understanding of the passage is that the pre-incarnate Jesus didn't see his divinity as something he couldn't relinquish
which is not the same as saying ' something to be grasped ' ..
   the semantics may seem to be picky
   but this is Jesus i'm talking about
   and if there's one thing we have to do, it's get Jesus

so then, my take on it is kinda like this ..
Jesus, as God, did not fall-back on his divinity when considering the plight of fallen and vulnerable humanity ..
he didn't consider it as impossible, or too much of a sacrifice
he didn't consider it a restraining factor ..

or the thing that defined him ..

think on that a minute ..

Jesus, God by nature, whose identity is wrapped-up in God, did not allow his Godness ( as we understand divinity ) to ultimately define him ..

   . .   ... . .    i'm not even sure that makes sense . .

he gave up his identity as God ..
that translates into giving up what defines him as God ..
that, particularly that, tastes potently heretical
   I almost can't believe I had the thought .. ..  .     .


what we consider to be the God-attributes did not limit pre-incarnate Jesus
did not lock him into this or that option ..
he stepped out of that skin and took on humanskin ..

that there rocks my boat ..
i can meditate on that for a long long time ..
a loooooooong time ..
 .....   . . . . . .        .

he put it aside, relinquished it
and steeped off his Godthrone
moving towards human
for human
away from his innate Godness
   ( at least in the sense we tend to think of Godity .. )

after all, he, Creator himself, created human in Godimage, in Godlikeness
how could he desert them, his creatures that resembled him, that he made to be so .. ?

and now Creator is made in manimage .. .  .  . . ... .

this is he, the Word ..
in the beginning the Word was there with God; in fact he was God. 
all tbings were made by the Word; not one thing has been made apart from him .. 
this same Word ..
The Word became flesh and took up residence among us.
We observed His glory, the glory as the One and Only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
      ( John 1.1ff )

if there ever was an intimate, vulnerablizing, sacrificial act, driven by pure love, this was it ..
this was it

and God did it .. of all people to be doing something about all the wrongdoing that was done against him ..
he was the abused, the disrespected
he takes the steps towards reconciliation ..

... . .      .       .

i have walked on holy ground here, and recognize the magnitude of what i've said
but i can't walk away from it again, leaving that ' ? ' with no response
   although there may remain a ' ? ' after this is said and done ..
..   . . .   .

several years ago, it hit me that the immutable ( unchanging/unchangable ) God had indeed changed, and that fundamentally: he had become human, never to return to his former state ..
get that ..
it is a man that i will meet someday in the Kingdom
the Man i follow
a human ..
when i bit into that, it exploded my soulmind
made me feel very appreciative of what God had done for humanity, for me
   and i haven't gotten over it

this blog takes that a step further
and i'm likewise astounded
as i think over it, i'm made to feel very small
   that the Word not only changed, and changed forever,
   but that he relinquished his divine nature as we understand it
      to stand with
         and for
      humanity
      for ever human
         with us
         for us
man ! how does the mind swallow that ??
how indeed ..  

here's my thinking on the text
   although i have absolutely no knowledge of Greek, Koine Greek etc.

   .. fill up my joy by being likeminded, sharing love, with a united goal. Don't live a life of self-pride and ambition, but of humility. Value others more than you do yourself; don't be concerned for yourself only, but for others too. That was Jesus' mindset; adopt it for yourselves. 
   Though he naturally existed in Godform, identical with God, he did not consider that identity to be something he couldn't relinquish. On the contrary, he voided that identity and took on the form of a servant by becoming human, taking humanform. Identified as human, he humbled himself through obedience, even to the point of death, and that on a cross.
   Because of this God has highly exalted his [ human ] name above every other name, such that at the name ' Jesus ' the knee of everyone in Heaven, in Earth and under Earth would bow, and their tongues confess " Jesus is Lord ", bringing glory to God.

.....  . .     .

i have issues with this thinking ..
         ?'s  .. .. . .
- the fact that God changed, became human, does not necessarily negate his divinity, or at least some aspects thereof
- how does relinquishing his divinity relate to his comment to Phillip that ' you've seen me, so you've seen the father ', and ' i and the father are one ', and that the name of the person on the white horse in The Revelation to John is The Word of God ( referent to John 1.1, in the beginning was the Word ) ,
- how dies that compute with his Godpower as at Hebrews chapter 1, sustaining the universe ?
           etc etc
..

i rest this for now
and that's ok
knowledge will not be complete until ' that which is perfect is come ' ..


as a follow-on to this
please read 1Corinthians 15.20-28
   in the final age when all is finally reconciled, Jesus will be in submission to God ..

shalom



postscript ..
someone raised the valid question: why is this so important ? what difference does it make ?
my response: to think that God would do this for humanity, for me, is humbling, and brings me farther along the road to understanding somewhat how far God went, and hopefully, energizing me to rightly esteem who i am in the grandschemeofthings, .. nothing to shout about - a servant of God, and follower of Jesus, whose life is worth nothing apart from that understanding, and energizing me to worship this God ..